See... this is why I wanna quit my job, here is another story about my boss person.

Article from this weekend's Sunday World (news paper)

Still no justice for Mafikizolo’s road manager

Saturday May 17, 2008 22:05 - (SA)

NORMAN MASUNGWINI

Flamboyant Mpumalanga music promoter Bruce Kgapane stands accused of assaulting Mafikizolo’s road manager last year – and this week he strong-armed the magistrate into postponing the case for a second time. on Wednesday the Ziyaphenduka Promotions boss appeared at the Pilgrim’s Rest Magistrates’ Court near Lydenburg, Mpumalanga, on charges of assault and pointing a firearm.


Kgapane is accused of assaulting Mafikizolo’s road manager Piwe Shabangu after the Afro-pop group failed to appear on time for a performance at a department of labour function in September last year. Mafikizolo was booked by Kgapane’s company to perform in Pilgrim’s Rest, but could not arrive on time because they were travelling from Durban, where they were performing at the Loerie Awards.


This week Kgapane and Shabangu and some members of Mafikizolo avoided each other in the court corridors on several occasions, but Kgapane put on a brave face after the appearance and shook hands with the group’s manager, Julius Mekwa. Kgapane asked the court to postpone the case because his attorney was not available.

He told magistrate A Serfontein he had not been aware that his attorney was sick. “I only learnt that he is not coming through the prosecutor right now,” said Kgapane. The prosecutor, Tobie Steny, told the magistrate Kgapane’s lawyer had phoned a few minutes before the case was called to tell him that he wouldn’t be in court because he was down with flu. But Steyn insisted on proceeding with the case.


He said the case had been postponed six months before trial and it shouldn’t be postponed again at the last minute. “The attorney should have called yesterday for me to contact the witnesses,” says Steyn. He also argued that the witnesses stay far away in Gauteng. Kgapane said it would be challenging for him to continue with the case without his attorney. “I request we postpone the case until my attorney is well,” Kgapane insisted.


Magistrate Serfontein finally agreed with him, saying everybody had the right to a legal representative. The case was postponed to next month for trial and Steyn said he was going to call seven witnesses.

**** and here is the story from my side....

Yes my boss slapped the girl (which was not cool @ all), but she was very rude and the way they handled the situation was not professional @ all....

They lied about most things (including the gun thing, the boss man does not even own one) and they breached the contract!!!

Since then we have not used any of the artists that are managed by Julias's company - Exclusive Management Services.....

Anyhooo, am crossing my fingers that my next interview goes well so I can stick the middle finger to my boss.... he, he!!!

Sat-Ur-Day.... @ Work - Not impressed at all!

Who would've thunk that I'd be sitting at the office, working on a flippin Saurday.........

This is so not on, basically my weekend has been ruined coz I'll be tired by the time I get home. I'm doing some physical labour here!!!


Maybe... Aloe for all (or something that reads similar)


Am now listening to my portable radio....

Hope everyone is having a fab one! Mine sucks....

See why I'm looking 4 another job???

Sex and office gossip...... Friday!

Seriously........

In a relationship, sometimes things do NOT happen as you'd want them to!

I'm upset....... 'coz the BF (@00H47) wanted to shag when I wanted to sleep, I was tired, really tired!

There are times when he would want to do it and I wouldn't but he, on the other hand is always ready for some.... So I ended up giving in as the man wouldn't leave my poor ass alone and he kept poking my behind with his dingaling when I told him to go back to sleep, I had faced the other direction.

So I woke up in a very funked up mood coz I had to be up @ 05H45 and he has the day off, how fair is that??? Huh?

Anyways.....

Seems like I (again) am some people's favourite topic, only this time it is the BF's colleagues. I was told that my name popped up about 7 times during an office gossip session during their hour lunch break......... Like WTF????

Yes people, it looks like I am that interesting!!!

The thought of being gossiped about by bank employees doesn't sit very well with me.... especially since they made it a point that I am invited to their next get together - for what reason? I don't know, guess I'll have to wait and see.

One of them had this to say: "She's so tall, more like a giant. You know that her weight is gon go crazy when she gets pregnant? you guys have almost similar hairstyles (she is so wrong about that).... wow.... how old is she? She looks nice though!"

And that I heard from the BF after they had a mini interrogation thing with him @ the HR office. Great!!!

Friday......

Have yourselves a great one!

Plots for free booze..... on a Thurshday!

This weekend I plan on gettin murtherly sloshed & having fun without popping out a cent.....



How will it be done, you ask............



The same way I did it when I was still a student @ Natal Tech.



I grab one hot chick friend that will buy me my first drink and wait for the lusty men to come do their macking shit on, I get to talking and the rest follows. One thing though, the BF must not be near me so I'll do the whole " Babe, I haven't chilled with friends in a long time & they feel neglected coz I'm always with you... so we gon' do the girls' nite out thing, see you later"

Or I just go hang out by the bar counter @ News and flirt with Santos and whatshisname..... Those boys sure know how to make a woman drunk, trying out and "tasting" different cocktails with out paying isht is nice! Gimme 9 of those and I'll have a permanent smile on my face!!! I don't mind being their guinea pig - as long as they keep them flowing!

The only condition is that the BF mustn't be around and I must never smile at the other guys offering to pay for whatever I'm drinking.

It's the 15th and my accounts is only happy month-end!!! I can't be wasting my own money on boozing and partying, not when there are so many "cash cows" out there......

I'm not one for that kind of lifestyle but isht times are tough and am saving for the big move to new place last weekend of May, I'll need to do a house warming phela!!!

He (BF) wants us to do a movie & drinks with his work buddies on Saturday..... oh hell no.....



His friends are not interesting at all, besides they like to think that I'm weird and call me names like Jah-Lady.... I am so not that!!!! I'm me, the beer drinking, ciggie smoking biatch that likes turning peoples' lives upside down for the fuck of it and I do crazy talk.



Back to work now....



Later



Ey - I saw a person getting mugged last night, it was like a movie.... like he rocked up a gun from nowhere and started shooting @ the muggers like crazy!!!

Drama.........

WednesDaY..... I R back!

So apparently I had or still have lirangitis....

Was horrible coz my phone rang endlessly and I had no choice but to answer it and speak even though the doctor said I mustn't.

My voice still sounds crazy but way better than how it was on Monday!

Nothing interesting happened to me so I have nothing to go on about!!!!

Later
***********""""""""""""""""***********"""""""""""""""****************

I have just seen my neighbour's miniature sausage dog running around with Megan's (the neighbour's daughter) pink panties in its mouth...... I know I'm not all that well yet but I laughed my ass off! The dog gets bored, really I just wish I knew how to speak woof language so I can hollar @ it.

Sometimes it tries to bite me or it starts barking for no reason!!!!

I am so sleepy, flu medicine is not a good plan when trying to work! I'll try mixing it with alcohol this coming weekend just see what it'll do to me, Errr... no wait,... let me not try it on me. I'll get an unknowing volunteer for that experiment.

Oh well that is it from Nelspruit side!

PS ~ thanx Sweets & AquiLoGy for the get well soon wishes.....

MonDaY - Would ya believe.....?

.......that my voice is gone, so I went to the doctor and was told to not speak for the next 24hours as it could result in a permanent loss of my voice!!!!

Oh My Fcukin Gawd!

I was given a sick note but guess what I am still at work as I have to do a few things before heading home!!! And coz I'm takin RSVP's for an upcoming event, my cell is a hotline by force!

To make isht worse is that the boss people think that I was out partying or something along those lines when in fact I was indoors the entire weekend!

Confession: I got stoned on Saturday and Sunday morning my voice was all crazy and shit.I'm not really sure but I think it might be responsible for the horror I'm goin through right now!

Am sure BF will be happy that I can't say a word for the whole day as we all know that I talk......... too damn much sometimes, I know I can be irritating but I can't help it!

So now am hoping to be done soon so I can go rest "my voice"!

Enjoy ya'lls week people, be back tomorrow!

FwidaY~ Have a gewd one!!!

I have been trying to post about something the whole morning and I simply can't find the right words so I'll say this instead....

Have ya'll selves a great weekend!

Oh, with the petrol prices goin' up = people will stop driving, with food prices escalating too = people will change their diets.............

But smokers.............. ha,ha,ha

Will always make a plan!

See :)~

ThurshDay ~

Morning, morning..........



About the job interviews ~ Yesterday's one sucked. Talk about an interview that lasted less than 4 minutes! It was a joke what they were offering me!!! So after they told me what they needed me for, the lady & I agreed that we were wasting each other's time.



So I am now waiting for my next interview on the 21st..... I'm lucky to be getting so many calls huh????

Anyhoo, hope the next one will give me enough $ to make me smile from ear to ear!

The lady from the agency says.... "Just be yourself Khensy, you are an amazing person with an amazing personality, I'm sure they will like you!" Huh... words of encouragement!!!

Ok, female boss is quite mean today! Don't know what's up with that.

Oooh, I'm going to Sdunkero's Party tonight @ News Cafe.... can't wait, free booze & Delicious eats.... gawd I'll miss this events industry so much when I quit! I have plans of going at it on my own, doing the whole "be your own boss" thing, I just need to stop acting like a part-time hippie!!!!

BF has big exam tomorrow.... and he hasn't been studying, I wonder but then again maybe he knows his shit and all I can say is good luck!!!

I had no internet the whole day yesterday........ Eish! It was tough I tell ya!

I have made a decision.... one that I'm not too sure was the best one for my relationship with HP! It makes sense when I think that I'll be saving money coz my rent is killing but I don't know!!! It feels like I'm signing my freedom away, I can never cheat on him now (as if i had plans to), He has been at my place for the last 3 weeks.... I've threatened to kill him about 4 times already.......... huhhhh (sigh)! Soon I'll have to meet the parents...........

Ok, I'm movin in with BF & his older Brotha & our weird midget-lookin like friend! Yup the 4 of us living under the same roof!

What do ya'll think????

TuesDaY ~ Off to find a new job!!!

Goood Morning People............

I have a job interview later this morning!!!!

I haven't done those in a while and the last time I did, some other girl got the job so ya, am nervous I'll fcuk it up or I'll blab too much, oh dear.........

Ok I need time to recollect myself!

Will update ya'll later!

(My current boss is not too happy but hey, they don't wanna increase my pay so I gots to bounce.....)

Oh and I have another interview tomorrow @ 14h00 as well.
****************"*******************"*********************"****************"

Alraighty then, I can say that it went well.... accept that the person interviewing me thought that I was better suited for another job and not the one they had called me in for! Poor Afrikaans speaking middle-aged woman thought that I was so nice and "oulik" - I need translation soon!.... Ok then I guess I have to wait for them to call me.

Can't wait for the one I'm having tomorrow..... I hope I get hired on the spot (depending on how much they are offering me of coz)!!!!

When I walked in, my boss asked me how it went and I told him fine but the smile on his face was too fake!!!!

Am in a very good mood, mostly coz they can now see how fcukin serious I am!!!

Ooh, my favourite song is on the radio...ha, ha!!!

Kwaki....... We are bidding for the Freshers Ball tender, he, he!!! I'll come to Venda if our company gets it ne!!!

And BF got a pay hike today!!! We are celebrating tonight!!!

I R Back - yes, yes ~ Monday

I have been gone for a very long time I see!

New month and hopefully I don't reach my cap too soon this time!!!

I'm happy to say that I haven't been heavily smashed in a while, even I have more beer than food in my fridge at the moment.... I haven't had more than 3 at a time!

I did a bit of partying, yes, yes!!!

It was nice being out again, though people looked rather shocked to see me shaking "it" on the side of the dance floor.... "They" said that I have been "out" 0f the "scene" for so long that they didn't bother sending me invites to do's.... So with fake smiles from ear to ear I said hi back to the people who looked surprised when I told them that no I was not pregnant or sick, I was just chillin!

Fcukin people can be so pretentious........

Some idiot @ MPower fm (based in Nelspruit) fell asleep while on air..... (old news, I know but worth the mention either way), though I kept praying that Sdunkero doesn't speak Engling during interviews and the acceptance speech @ the SAMAs, the man did and all I can say is = Shwashwi will have a field day dissing another person from Nelspruit. I just don't understand why certain people do NOT want to understand that they do not speak the language quite as well as they probably would like to!!!!

Moving on.........

Holly NIgga = I believe you have my number, hollar then!!!

B = Ai shem sussie, I didn't know you had plans of coming to my side of the country. I lot has happened to you in this short space of time hey....

Kwaki = You shameless, lonely dog of satan!

Sweets = Thank for passing in the msg and greeting!!!

Ms. Daisy = Thank for inviting me to your B'day party!

Everybody else...................

Hi, hi

Ooh, BF bought me a gorgeous bag, I like, I like... for a broke man he sure has good taste!

And after a long time of saying that I must lose weight...... he comes to me with some story that he loves me just the way I am - man please, I know he's only saying that coz he can see I'm gin look like a bombshell summer bunny when I shed all those extra kilos!!!

Again - It is so good to be connected again!

Monday ~ About the WeekenD

I did absolutely nothing this weekend, I did the spring cleaning thing and I felt really good about it afterwards. I even changed the bed's position and stuff, yeah... that was cool!

On Friday... my day was pwetty much fcuked up I guess, was tired and hungry 'coz I never got time to sit and have breakfast or lunch so basically the only meal I had on Friday was supper ( that was not fully cooked coz I was just in a hurry to chow) and the thing about it is that I only felt like having something I made myself ( I'm quite the cook at times) so takeaways just wouldn't have done!

Went to deliver an invite for the Holy Nigga, quite an office they have there.... the life on Journos!

Considered the possibility of me doing a shwashi/gossip like mag for Mpumalanga people, I mean we do have our own "celebs" around here and the entertainment scene is picking up (slowly but surely) so ya, I think it is about time.... or Ziwaphi could just employ me to do my version of the Bitch's Brew and the Agony Aunt thingy - they don't have it, yet!!!

I did NOT drink this weekend! I'm still trying to understand why........

Oh, and chick friend pissed the isht outta me on Saturday so I guess I won't be calling her ass again!

**** Imagine, you are in deep sleep with BF next to you and ex shag-mate (that you haven't shagged for months before you even met current BF) calls around 2a.m asking what you are doing, you tell him that you are sleeping and your BF is next to you! He rants and decides to come to your place anyways and knocks for about 20minutes, despite you ignoring him ( and hoping he goes away) about 10 minutes later you decide to go tell him where to get the fcuk off.... then he says you are the who said he must come over and some shit like that, blah, blah while BF (who knows that you have some history with the other guy) is listening to the conversation. Eventually he leaves and when you jump back in bed BF is so angry at you, he doesn't even want to talk/touch or look at you! Comes morning and then the confrontation takes place and it doesn't matter what you say.... it just doesn't convince BF that you are not cheating on his ass!

Ya ne!!!

With that I'd like to say to ex shag-mate..... thank you for fcuking isht up for me, I hope you get hit by a bus one day! Eat shit, drink piss and hang yourself!!!

Friday ~ finally

Had to work late yesterday - again!

And will be on the road for the rest of today!

Heard that there's a "Mini skirt & Cleavage" Party going on tomorrow, the thought of myself in a mini skirt is just funny, I haven't worn those in a long, long time!

This weekend, I just want to rest.... I feel tired for some reason I don't know and I need to do the whole spring-cleaning thing on Saturday - isn't it autumn or some season now???!

Happy Weekend People!

Thurshhhday - Blah

I just got my ass electrocuted by our electric fence thing..... Was talking to neighbour and asked him to pass me matches and I touched the damn thing. I wanted to cry, then I remembered that I don't look pwetty when I cry!

Funny thing that happened yesterday as I was driving around delivering invites, the car I was using kept switching off at almost every robot I stopped at! I laughed at myself really, it was so obvious that it was driving a borrowed car...

I just have to mention again that government employees are some of the laziest employees I have met. They just sit there, chatting to their friends on the phone, Typing their Unisa Assignments and still get paid every month... they seriously piss me off, coz when I try calling there - the phone is constantly engaged and when I do eventually get through, they redirect your call and make you hold for a long time. Some are at the mall during working hours and still have a 2hour lunch break, at 15h30 they are already making way home and they are meant to knock off at 16h20!!!

Yesterday I struggled to get anything done, I was at those offices for more than an hour!!!

Ok, still working.......

Later

**PS** When I say Government employees, I mean the ones that work for the Mpumalanga Provincial Government @ the Riverside GVT Boulevard, unless they are like that everywhere!

Working late & fast food for supper! ~ Wednesday

I knocked off work @ 9.30pm or so last night..... that was not nice, missed a dinner thing with a friend coz of it! I was really looking forward to have good wine with some good seafood but I had to do a KFC burger instead.

Fell asleep while trying to eat and watch Cheaters at the same time, then it hit me again - living alone can sure suck at times. If I had BF staying with me, I would've had supper and a good shag waiting for me when I got home! LoL, plus it was a bit chilly at night, I warmed up my bed with a hot-water bottle... yes, I still use those! Electric blankets are strange for me, I'm old-school.

So, I'm still gon' be busy with calling & sending invites to people for an upcoming awards function for some Export something something.

HP says he hates it that I talk about our isht with "strangers"....... as if they know who he is!!! Ya right...

I watched ( for the 11th time) Two can play that game (starring Vivica A. Fox and Morris Chestnut) on Saturday with HP and there is a line there that says that the first sign that shows that your man is cheating is when he calls and says "I have to work late" or "I was working late" whatever.....

Well, I'll be working late most days till this event is through and I sure as hell hope HP doesn't thinks that something freaky is goin on.

And now I'm having Oreos for breakfast - great!

Later people

Him, the weekend and us!

I'm getting bored if my "perfect" relationship..........

I'm getting more sick of people saying things like "oh gosh, you guys look so beautiful together", "I love how you guys get along", "Khensani, do NOT fuck this one up, you won't get another man to love you like this!".... Aaaaah, wish they would stop coz now it's like too many people are on the look out for every isht that me & HP get up to!

I tried pissing him off on Friday by going somewhere and getting smashed in company of other men then called him @ around 4:30am and demanded sex.... ha, ha, ha and guess what, he was all so calm. On some "If you are gon' go out somewhere on a drinking spree shit, atleast tell me where you are. I won't stop you from doing your shit, I met you drunk anyways so ya, did you have fun?" Like fokitt already for being sweet and shit!

I lurvz him and all but I'm getting bored coz everything is just so perfect... not that I want him to cheat on my ass but some drama would be night, maybe it'll make me appreciate havin him more - is that as insane as my brother thinks it is???

I was hungover for 2 days......

Free booze is it man, I hardly get that smashed when I'm paying for the booze!!!

Anyhooo.... I'm swamped with work so haven't had time to do any other isht.

Oh and I met a prostitute..... Oh my gosh...... is all I have to say!

ThursDay..... I want money, money, money!

Ha......



Today is the day I reevaluate what I really want in life!



(On way to work, I saw one of my ex's cruising past in the new Land Rover Freelander, this is a person who really struggled to pass matric and I love that car! I can say that he is not the most wisest of people)



I know jealousy makes one nasty but fuck it man I need to be making money asap!!!



Ok, here's what I realised this morning..... the S.A economy is trying to take out the middle-class person, right now it's like you are either making a lot of money or you are making enough just to pay your rent/bond, car, food and other necessities. Luxuries like going out 3 times a week and ordering expensive lobster (yum) do not fit in your budget @ all - that is where I am right now... soon people like me will be classified as poor! I tell ya, there'll be just two kinds if standards - Rich and Poor! You have an 8am - 4pm office job but you'll be ranked on the same level with domestic workers!!!

Have ya'll ever notice how much you spend on drinks @ say News cafe when you're out with friends????? Those pinkish-colourful cocktail, martinis and whiskeys are blurdy expensive!

That will be the reason I stock up on wine and beer @ the bottle store and chill @ my place with friends. I even opt to cook something or braai instead of going out to some restaurant and spending about R 800 - R 1000 on food and drinks! I can spend half that amount, make a mean salad, braai meat, cream-corn pap & chakalaka and still have fun, listening to my choice of music!

This is life in S.A people.... I often complain of how broke I am and isht, but I saw a family that has to survive on R300 a month - that is no joke!!!!

Ok basically this was about me finding new ways of making extra money on the side....... and in case one of ya'll wanted to give advice on how, please scratch being a hooker out of the list!

WednesDay ~ BF has Flu

BF can be a shameless idiot sometimes....

So he has the flu, when I called him yesterday he was speaking in this tiny voice and as if he is slowly seeing the white light at the end of the tunnel... When I asked him what him being sick had anything to do with me, he begged that I go past his place on my way home!

When I got there the man was in pyjamas and thick socks.... it was drizzling a bit but trust me it wasn't cold @ all. So I get there and am like - "ya, so for what did you want me to come here for?"

Turns out that he wanted me to make him supper... him together with his brother (they live together)! These men don't cook, I went with then to do their grocery shopping a week ago and they have never cooked since. If it is not take aways, it's a quick sandwich. Now the only time he eats a home cooked meal is when he visits me....... Great now I'm their cooking-lady!

Would you believe what a tiny flu does to a man.... they act like kids when their are sick!

One mistake though was when he mentioned that he thinks we should move in together so I could look after him..................... WHAT????

Never!!!

Ok not never but not anytime soon, not this year.... "we' are still new - like 4 months old. Plus he has these little badish habits that make me cringe at times, imagine me having to "get used" to those, oh hell no! When he comes over for a weekend I have to tell him to pick this up, don't do that, rinse the glass before and after you use it, he is just messy..... Grrrr!!!! And he does piss me off half the time but I lurvs him to bits!!!!

So today again after work I have to go past his place - he asked if I could bring him that M&B Oriental Burger & fruit!!! Shame.... last week I made him wake up & race across town get me some Mybulen & Norflex so I'll be nice to him!!!!

Tuesday ~

It has been about 2 to 3 years since I last put a comb or brush in my hair...... and my hair is about 27cm right about know!

I was caught in some drama between the Abuja and Lagos Naija cartels.... he, he (I like the sound of that), no seriously now - these guys are from Nigeria and they all deal in drugs and isht like that and they are making a killing out of these teenagers and "celebs" that do coke and so on! One even drives a Lamborghini, the other an Astin Martin... oh and they own "shops"... the ones that sell Louis Vitton & Gucci for about R100.... Yup, R100!

These guys drink and eat expensive.

Funny thing is that men from countries like Nigeria are convinced that South African women are cheap and easy, all they have to do is flash a bit of money and they hit a home run!!!! That actually pissed me off - ya I know they are women like that but they mustn't generalise, upon meeting them I saw that they had the same impression about me! Shooo, as I was telling them off... I almost threw a glass of whiskey at the other huge guy ( cannot remember his name)... and then I remembered that one mustn't waste good alcohol.

Truth be told though, what some other skanky women do sets a bad example of South African women. I, for one am not cheap and I am so not a gold-digger. If I were I'd be dating a guy who atleast has a job that pays him a 6 digit figure, and with that paying my rent, groceries and clothing!!!!

On Saturday I saw a good example of a gold-digger but I was too smashed to say anything that made sense but I do remember saying this to her "S'febe uzobhejiwa wena, lo unepipi elikhulu.. phela owase Naija". Translation... "Biatch, Ur ass is gon get shagged buy a big ass dick coz the dude is from Naija"... and she did! Her pine-tree hairstyle was flattened after that!

New Week - Monday ~

My butt is sore... I suspect that I might taken a tumble somewhere somehow! I wish not to talk about Saturday night! Apparently I had a few moemish moments!!!

I remember seeing people dancing in slow motion and reverse... and walking a distance of about a kilometer, they say I was yelling out that I wanted to go home! Then HP & brother came fetch me! He says I woke him up at about 3.30a.m and I was crying 'coz I drank too much.

I felt very strange when I woke up @ my place.... Maybe someone spiked my drink, I swear! I hardly remember anything! Oh and they said I was bitch-slapping some girl - reason = still unknown!!!! I must have been pissed off, I think!!!!!

Am busy with a crossword puzzle right now.... about 4 word then I'll be done!!!

Ya neh!

Happy Monday :-)

Thursday ~

And then there was light.....

Load shedding since 08H00 till about 5 minutes ago! That sucked, if only it waited till an hour before knock-off time!

Now my day begins!

On a serious note though, are you guys not worried about Zim? I know I've asked this before but ya I think S.A will be affected by whatever that happens in Mugabeland..... Most people from Zim are having it hard in S.A but they say that being here here is better than being in their own country! Shame!!!

Now....

Here is something else:


History Mystery

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F.
Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker... A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh?

Wedneday ~ @ work

I'm blank..........

Busy with a proposal for some official opening of the new Nelspruit 2010 Offices, they want us to come up with a theme - duh, there can only be one theme.... the 2010 Soccer World cup shit???

So now I am trying to put that in a nice proff-like way... ey, I don't do decor - we get someone to do it and that person's phone is off!!!

Me & boss person are trying to see our way out of this and all my ideas are being turned down - not sure if it because I am in lazy mode or that she simply doesn't like them!!! But she makes me think dull anyways coz "they" wanna be the ones who shine brighter than the weird looking girl they send everywhere else!

Ok, sounds like the best time to start looking for another job as this one sucks big time! I love it but the bosses make it the worst job to have and I am done trying to be "employee of the year"... so no more sucking up!

I'll quit before they decide to fire me!!! Hee, hee

Then put pee in the petrol tanks!

Ey I almost died yesterday.... 4 real, I was driving a car that had brake problem or the were not there at all! I don't know how I always manage to save my ass, but I did.... when I got back to the office I slammed the car door and chucked the keys in a not do nice way, almost broke something!!!!

I had almost lost my life! I think what traumatised me the most was the fact that I was gon' die sober, Imagine that!

Ok, back to work now......

If I had to translate this into English... It just wouldn't sound the same! Sorry!!!

PHEZU KWABO!!!!


Madoda musani ukudlala ngabantu besimame nize nivuke ekuseni nizelule sengathi lukhulu enilwenzile kanti lutho. Okokuqala nje musani ukuchatha ngeSunlight Soap. Uma uyindoda chatha ngembiza yokushubisa imizwa. Uma ungenayo noma ungazi ukuthi uzoyitholaphi buza kwabaziyo. Nakhu ke okumele ukwenze uma uyindoda efuna ukuthandwa ngempela ngothandiwe wakho.

1. Mbuze ukuthi ufuna umbhebhe ngakuphi umbuze futhi ukuthi ufuna ufende usheshise yini noma cha.

2. Mbuze ukuthi uyakujabulela yini uma ugudlisa ikhinqi emalebeni, ukuxoxa kwenza ungasheshi uchithe.


3. Mtshele angabi nahloni ayisho into uma ingamphathi kahle, njengokuthundela emlonyeni.


4. Mthintathinte kamnandi esithweni sakhe sangasese uze ukhothe ubhontshisi ngolwimi, uwuncelisise aze achame noma kathathu.

Akunankinga ngiyazi ukuthi uzobe esekujaha ukuthi nibhebhane, muzibe sengathi awumuboni.


5. Noma usungamyeka manje ukumncela, muncele ibele esinye isandla asimnwaye inkomo slowly ungabi idlabha (Don’t be rough) because that area is very sensitive.


6. Yaneliseka ukuthi useqhanyelwe ngokwanele, uyakwazi ukumbona.


7. Thathake umthondo uwugudlise phezu kabhontshisi aze aphefumulele Phezulu. Bhasobha ungawufaki wonke umthondo phakathi ngoba uzohluleka ukuzibamba uvele uchame. Take your time, ufake kahle phakathi uwukhiphe futhi kahle slowly. Otherwise uma usheshisa Ngeke umuzwe kahle ukuthi umnandi noma cha.


8. Uwufake phakathi ufende kahlanu noma ngaphezulu kancane. Ungatatazeli.


9. Mufende kahle ungasheshi futhi ungabi too slow, Don’t forget to tell her uma uzwa ukuthi ungahle udubule, uma engakathandi ukuthi uchame, ukhiphe umthondo ushaywe umoya, uphinde uwubuyisele.


10. Kubalulekile futhi ukwazi ukuthi uthanda ukufendwa asheshiwe noma cha, ngoba kungenzeka ulingisa inkukhu nje wehlulwa yigolo, ulokhu uzincoma uthi uyakwazi kanti uyinhlabathi nje.


11. Qiniseka ukuthi uyachama before nawe uchame. Umenza konke lokhu nje uyamthintathinta ezingonweni zamabele, umkhothe nase mqaleni. Musa ukumenza ilovebite. Yiba yindoda ezwanayo nama blue movies “Sex Vidoes”


12. UNGALINGE UKHOHLWE UKUCELA UMUDLA NGEMUVA. PHELA ILA UBUMNANDI BUKHONA FUTHI NAYE UYATHANDA UKUDLIWA NGEMUVA.


13. Qiniseka ukuthi uyamuzwa uma echama ngoba kuyingozi ukumshiya engachamile, phela uketshezi luyashisa uma lungaphumanga lonke, ungabona esekufebela kanti nguwe ovule amathuba.


14. Ungesabi ukumphenya inkomo yakhe, uyibukisise uze uyidlalise ngeminwe yakho, phela abantu besilisa ayesaba ukuyivula kuze kube ngcono amadoda.


15. Make sure that umdlalisa ngokwanele ngaphambi kokuba ufake uhalakasha lwakho lolu ukuze asheshe achame, mnike umthondo adlale ngawo, ube yi toys lakhe.


16. Akongiwa umfazi, uma ungamudli namuhla umbekele bani, inkomo ngeyokuhlatshwa noma engafuni, mbhebhe ngendlela yokuthi angakuqhathanisi namuntu.


17. Musa ukuba nesikhathi sokubhebha umkakho, ungalindi kuze kuyolalwa, noma umfica ekhishini khwela phezu kwakhe.


18. Kumele ngabe uyamazi ukuthi yini ayithandayo, menze leyonto ayithandayo, this is sex ingeyenu nobabili.


19. Livule lonke igolo lomkakho, (kodwa abanye banamahloni) faka ulimi lwakho embotsheni, uncele umsunu, amalebe ngiqinisile ngithi kuwe, noma ecabanga ubufebe akasoze ngoba nguwe wedwa omudla ngaleyondlela.


20. Uma kwenzeke iphutha uNoxolo wacela ukuthi umbhebhe, yenza njalo, bese uthi ungena nje kumkakho ube umbingelela ngawo, kuyokuthatha isikhathi eside ukuthi ungathundi ngoba kade uqeda kuthunda kuNoxolo.


UMA UWALALELE LAMAZWI UYOBA INDODA EMADODENI. NGEKE FUTHI ABATSHELE ABANGANI BAKHE UKUTHI UYANELE NOMA CHA YINI OCANSINI NGOBA LOKHO KOMDALELA INKINGA ABANGANI BAKHE SEBEFUNA UKUZWA NABO LENTO OYIZWAYO. WENA OWESABA UKUKHOTHA UMKAKHO AWUKAQALI UKUMBHEBHA, BAZOKUBHEBHELA YENA.


And there it is, the black men have spoken!!!


***If someone feels they want to try and translate this into English.... do try***

On a Poetic Tip!!!

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.

I say, It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.

I say, It's the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

PS: No worries, I stole this poem & I aint ashamed to even say it........ But it sure is a nice one!!!

Nice enough to make make the "exotic lookinglike- women" feel good about themselves! (I do mean that in the most nicest way as I sometimes fall under the same category - ya right!)

Go Maya.....

TuesDay ~

I can't believe it's friggin April fool's and I have had a good laugh yet!

And I haven't sent any of my stupidtext messages to anyone yet! I need some inspiration. Ooh, I was so shocked to learn that BF @ age 25 doesn't have a driver's license..... or a learner's - my gosh at this day and age!!!!

The whole skate-cooper thing was cute and havin his brother chauffeuring us around was nice, but the brother can't drive! Can you believeIt? Seriously now!!!


So yesterday he tells moi that he went to by that stupid K53 book so he can get his learners..... told him that is the most dumbest thing ever coz everyone knows that the book doesn't help much!

Oh but... see what happens when a person chills with people who do Lokshin Management & have no future plans whatsoever??? They drag you down with them! They don't wanna go to school, they "can't" get a job coz of o'ngamla mana cheese-boy get all the good jobs, Like duh! What do the expect when they don't even have a matric certificate??? So BF made good decision to quit that life, move to Nelspruit, find a job, fall in lurv with Khensani and then do the rest of the things he has been wanting to do, one at a time!!!!!

Zim & Politricks

Could this be the year that My Fwend Bobby Mugabe finally loses the reign of terror or is it iron fist - Kwaki, you'd probably know more about this than moi!

MDC claims that it has won the Zim elections.... What about Simba?

Should I even be concerned about this?

What do you guys think this will do for Zims economy..... Think about buting bread for 35million zim dollars..... shooo!!!

Oh wow... I think there's gon' be war in that country!!!

Why were there 9million balllots ordered when only about 5million people had registered to vote???? I smell corruption!

Whoaa, heard Jacob Zuma saying that the law wasn't made to be user-friendly... that if anyone breaks the law - it must bite their asses! HuH?

MonDay Morning ~

It's probably not a good for me to be in this state but Fuckit.... I had a space muffin this morning and it's working! Only problem now is that I have just been given a list of things I must do before Friday, it's about half a page but it looks long!

Was on the phone with a client right now and 2 minutes into the conversation I forgot the reason why I had called in the first place, luckily the person I was on the phone with is too babalazed to give a sh*t (Sundown beat Kaizer Chiefs - celebrations lasted till early hours of morning, for soccer people that is)


I'll phone him back later!

On my weekend - good one @ home as female friend is still "madly in love" with new man ( I give them 6 weeks together then sh*t will hit the fan, she's my fwend I know how she gets after the 4 week window period)

Got invited to a b'day party but guess what, when I got to the venue all I saw were old nelspruit farmer looking-like men withtheir wives havin a lekker dop. Then tried calling Ms Daisy and her phone was off!!! Whatchusayaboutthat Miss???

Besides that it was the usual getting hammered on Amstel!

Ballet....

A long, long time ago I thought I wanted to be a "ballerina"......

And then our speech and drama teacher took us to see a play!

I was traumatised!

Hunted down by strange characters!

Would ya believe it........

On my way to Spar to go buy me lunch I got stopped by 2 women and a man... I "apparently" look like someone that they are looking for!

What I could pick up from the questions and small talk they were making with me was that the look-alike woman is married - which I am not, She drives a Jaguar - I'm still saving up for a starter pack car, she has a child (sex unknown) - I don't have any of those, want one but doubt I can afford having one.

So basically I think it is obviously a case of mistaken identity, what bugs is what are those dodgy looking people after this woman??? If it is for something tacky then I so wish I do not get compared to funny people! Yo, those people were ready for action phela, luckily I'm a laid back person so I came with the "chill man, what can I do you for" attitude. And the kind of calmed down a bit... Imagine,

When I was still in durban I used to get into trouble coz there were only 2 Khensani's that were well known in those circles and everytime the other one did something scandalazz I had to make it clear that it wasn't me, it was the other skinny, light skinned one, pweeze people - I am not that tacky!

Ooh and I had some chick that looked like me, but I liked her, she was cool - we became good buddies after a while. But in this case, uh hell no. I don't wanna get jumped by weird characters coz of some woman I do not know.

And that people, was the highlight of my so, so day!!!

Soapies and whores!

My Goodness the drama on tv.....

The young and the restless for instance,

Jack - Now married to Sharon, was also married to Nicky and Phylis! Phylis is now married to Nicholas who was married to Sharon. Nicholas is Nicky's son, meaning that Jack was his step-father at some stage.

So Sharon went on to marry her ex-husband's step-father and Phylis married her ex-husband's step son!

Sharon's scandals of shagging her once sister-in law's husband while she was still married to Nicholas, Sharon was Victoria's Maid-of-Honour by the way....

Then there is Jill and her mother who were both married to the same man at some point as well.

Er.... ya, well I have turned to this soapie watching person suddenly! I've only started watched the soapie a few months ago but I get the picture somehow... imagine how long it has been around!

I've also noticed that The young & the restless has the same writers or producers as The bold and the Beautiful.......... I'm sure most people knew that alreaddy but I am new to this so ya!

All I gotta say is those producers must be smoking a hell lot of weed to come up with story lines like this!

And don't get me started with the bullsh*t that is happening on the Bold... Brook, Taylor, Jackie, Bridget... they are all just these lil' bitches who break a tear every now and then, how many times do the fall in love???

Then in Generations there is Karabo........ how many men has she gotten engaged to? She's a slut as well, one with "dignity" my friend said.

Haai, my grandmomma is the one who follows these soapies religiously and I sometimes do not have time, though they do keep me entertained somehow!

I think I'm getting old!

Passions on etv.................. some idiot actually wrote that script!!!!

The LonG WeeKeND

I think I am the only person I know who is actually back at work today....

So thought I'd break down my long weekend to ya'll.

Thursday night: Spring Cleaned my place, I got smashed on wine after the drama of man leaving for home, Abenche being chased by huge dogs and Chick friend's man drama...

Friday: Got a shock when I walked in to Village complex and found out that bottle-stores were closed as it was a religious holiday, F.F.S it was a Friday - I would have never thunk! So after a long time of thinking and trying to come up with a plan of action. I found myself drinking the DOuglas Green wines ( St. Raphael, Anna, Clair and the other Saint).... Way to get there quick & cheap! Just as I was busy with that, nephew calls in sad mode and asks if I can come over to talk, went there and ended up passing out on the couch...... had made plans to join Ms daisy & her peoples for a drinking session & did not make it? Bummer!!!!

Saturday: The picnic thingy took place I think - but had to make a choice between being nice to family and goin out to have fun, the family won..... so spent some hours with them - came back late and it started raining ( Picnic outdoors and rain = oh hell no!)

Sunday: Slept the whole day, lazed around the house and oh wait I did laundry before getting into full lazy mode and made dinner for 1 - that so sucks!!!

Monday: I made meself pwetty with make-up and then I wore pyjamas, slept and had an odd visitor later on, Strange hang-up calls and an ex claiming their undying love for me - ya right.

And now here I am at work, keeping busy and all!

Goin home @ 1

Oh my Gawd...

For the first time in my working History, My boss is letting me go home @ 13H00!!!

This has never happened before, usually I am the first to arrive and the last to leave the office!

Ok so now Ya I'm happy that I get my freedom early but now the problem is that I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do with this extra time that I have. hmmm, so I'll go home, clean up my shack, defrost my supper and ?, get smashed on wine! I don't wanna start too early -

Ok, have fun where ever ya'll gonna be my peoplez!

I am still trying to decide what to do with myself, Kwaki is not feeling my pain so it's fine... I'll do the picnic thing then, I just need someone to go with. I magine getting to a do all alone - No fucken ways!!!!

WeDnesDay -

Am still a bit sad about my nephew, they forced him to go back home and apologise to the goat!

He didn't wanna but hey, what can I do?

Er....

I have FB friends.. Yay, ok I only have 3 but who cares!

When this load shedding thing hits early in the morning it basically messes my whole morning up and when the power comes back I am a bit lazy to start being busy! Like now, I'm just in lazy mode!

My one sister has just started working for Eskom and no one said congrats to her on the new job!!! Shame.

Nelspruit can be boring sometimes..... and the only way I make myself feel better is this " Only Boring People Get Bored" and I hate to think of myself as boring!

This is still Tuesday people....

Ok as the #1 stunt puller in the family ( and I have done a disappearing act before) they called me in and asked that I speak to the boy as he confides in me and all plus I am an expert when it comes to such - yes, yes!

My conclusion = He has to stick it out for the next year and a half as he is still in Gr. 11 now, He needs to see a therapist ( ya I know us black people don't get this therapy thing quite well but he needs to talk to somebody). and I offered that he can crash @ my place every now and then ( despite the fact that I live in a 1 bedroom place & I so need my 2c worth of privacy) I am one of his closest friends so ya that's my boy & I feel for him!

Truth is living with relatives isn't always a great idea especially if they are like mine.... they love unnecessary drama and I don't want him to go through that, I know I've had to stay with them while still in school.

So basically I'm the only normal person he can stand living with annd our fights don't last more than 15 minutes...

And we share a B'day...YaY

Story: Year 2006 - I once told the same dude (step pa) that I'll fuck him up the next time he puts his hands on my nephew, after that I pulled a stunt and 4 months later they came to apologise - I'm a genius when it comes to guilty-trippin people!

Ah well......

Family drama, what can we ever do to stop all'a this?

I'm still in a toxic relationship with my mother. I think we should both understand that it is simply too late for me & her to fix shit so we must just stick to disagreeing with the way I live this what I call my life!

All in all, ya the boy finally snapped.... People are confessing to have never seen that side of him! I have so I'm not as shocked as they are!

Run-away kid!

Huh...........

Some people are on holiday already...... I'm jealous!

My nephew pulled a disappearing act on his mom & step pa... guess he finally lost it with the step pa's attitude!

I think my older sis finally asked herself the question that crosses most married people's minds - Why the Fcuk did I marry this man?

Next question will be - Do I really have to loose my only son over some man I'm not sure if he's still love with ex-wife or not.
Heee, heee, heee!

Nephew staying with me for a while!

I never wanna go through that!

Tuesday -

Tjo...

I struggled to fall asleep last night and this has been happening quite often now. It's like I know I want to go sleep coz I keep dosing off on the couch but when I get to my bed its gone - the sleepy feeling I'm talking about!

So I'll just lay on the bed and hope it comes back, meantime my arms start acting funny, like I don't know what to do with them. I feel uncomfortable which ever way I try to rest them, like I could just take them off my body and put the aside then sleep - it is so weird I tell you!

Ok, load shedding will hit my part of town soon so I'm typing as fast as I can.

BF is going home for Easters.... I don't know if that is good or bad for me, I mean I can go get sloshed some where and sleep over my friends place without feeling like I have to let him know that I won't be seeing him coz I'm drunk. I won't be getting any but WTF, so many thoughts crossed my mind when he said he won't be around for like 6 days.... What if he bumps into his ex - he was pretty hung up over her? Gawd I can't believe I'm even thinking that! He hasn't seen his parents in a long time so maybe he'll spend most of his time with them?... Not, Surely he'll want to go see his "friends".... See now I'm confusing myself!

Sh*t!

Ok, so I have to make my long weekend plans without him.... right, Abenche move out, so I don't have a neighbour I can drink with, My chick friend has a new BF and seems to be spending all her free time with him - so I'd be like the nagging friend when I call to ask where she is & what she's doin, with who??? It's like vice/versa now coz that happened when I first hooked up with HP.

Kwaki are you coming to NST this weekend. Save me from boredom asblief.

I think I need to do some work so I can be sane again!

Monday -

I spent the whole weekend indoors.....

Didn't have the heart to go out or do anything 'coz of the rain. Met Abenche's (that is the weird midget-looking like friend) weird girlfriend, when asked what I thought of her I smiled and said "She's something special, isn't she? Wow! What can I say?"

Had no power this morning, 'till about 10minutes ago actually.

Stupid girl that pissed me off on Friday was made to apologise by her "boss/ under-carpet lover" as I was right and she was obviously wrong!

Sometimes I really feel like quiting my job and working some place else, a rival company maybe.... no pay increase still, imagine that while everything else seems to getting more expensive! As I write this I am (in my mind) drafting a letter to male boss about my salary issues and my budget breakdown ( that will exclude the money I spend on smokes and booze).

I got to work and found out that they are on holiday ( they being male & female boss as they are business partners and married to each other - huh? did I make sense there?)

Can you believvvve It!

So am stuff with a heavy work load while they are having a fab time @ some spa right now! ghrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

I feel like a heathen having not been to church in a long, long time! See the only thing that is keeping me away from going to NST church is coz they are forcing us ( the "youth" that now suddenly have jobs) to contribute towards some church building fund of some sort, funny coz the church was built a long time ago. Shouldn't I put in money to the church coz I want to? So this coming Good Friday, I might just take a trip to the church and make sure I duck as soon as the priest leaves the alter!

Boyfriend says "we" need to start jogging "together" in the mornings.... I laughed so hard I think I pulled a tummy muscle. Sure I need to get in shape but I don't think I like the idea of me (in tights/short) sweating it out @ 5AM, noways! So I suggested that I'll take walks every now and then and do tummy crunches/sit-ups or whatever those things are called but its exercising nonetheless. Oh and the "hot lemon water diet"... I'll look like a summer bunny, just you wait and see!

Have ya'llz a great week!

She pissed me off but happy weekend 2 all.

What is it with some females, dressed like 2$ (yes 2 dollar) whores and thinking that they can tell me - me that they know better, they are right and I must listen and stop acting as if I'm all that?????......

W.T.F

1. I could ask a few questions of how she landed that job as she can't even put together a proper budget breakdown? Hhe?

2. People (including me) has seen her doing very immoral things behind "closed doors that were not really that "closed", with a married man, who happens to be friends with her MD and she is still pretending to be "buddies" with the wifey.... eish too much of a long story but basically she is a whore.... ka'pish!

3. She must also stop lying about having a car, one that is always at service (reason why she's sitting at the back seat of a friend's car), it's fine if she doesn't have a ride - no one expects her to, like me I drive my boss' car and the family car that they give to me only when they are in happy mode! (Note to self: I need to check I much I have saved so far for a ride)

4. A dressing ring does NOT mean imaginary engagement ring..... It's bad luck to lie about those thing, you might jinx all your chances of being proposed to.

5. Is this still about the chick that pissed me off a few minutes ago...... I'm confused!

6. I don't think I can write anything more as I have to do quotations for some upcoming events..... eish!

Happy weekend....

Ever noticed how radio stations suddenly play almost every track done by an artist that is "touring" and performing in the country?? As soon s the leave it's back to the random music they feed us! I swear I have heard about 30 Brian McKnight songs since this morning!!!

Eskom @ it again

Gawd demmet man, Eskom did it again!!! I had no power since 06H00 till 14H47, imagine that!!!!

Worst load shedding in weeks.....

1. I had to wear unironed clothes (helper hasn't be to work for 2 weeks)

2. Had cold cereal and no coffee

3. No radio (I need to upgrade my phone, yes, yes)

4. Tried pretending to be busy with work but it didn't work out today as both bosses were @ office, for what? I don't know!!!

5. Didn't get to see the weather report (not that it is always accurate) so now my butt is freezing a bit as I look like a summer bunny!

6. I slept @ 19H30 last night coz of terrible storm that scared the isht outta me, living alone sucks sometimes - imagine if I had a man around, I'd run to him every time the thunder rumbles.... huh, just like in the movies.

7. Only now @ 15H00 my day gets hectic...... I have to knock off in the next hour and a half!

So................

How ya'll doin?

I smell a weekend..... YaY!

Wednesday -

Gawd DammiT, my neighbour's dogs are gay........ I suspected that they were gay but I didn't want to catch them in action!!! Eeuw!

I drugged myself last night, very fatal combination = myprodol & cheap whisky that Kwaki & I named Harare as we could not pronounce the name, I needed to sleep & I was in pain, that darn "Suzie" can be annoying - doctors call it "dysmanoria" (V.V bad spelling).

HP called trying to be nice, I pulled a Tyra Banks' fit on him as he was disturbing me from my 1 man brainstorming session!

Jill Scott rocks..... Ammy Winehouse has serious problems, she's permanently high & sloshed plus has a friend with the Osborn surname, how weird can she get! Love her music though!!!!

What happened to load shedding?

Telling lies with beer and things in hand!

Sunday - Played a not so nice joke on HP! I had spent Friday & Saturday dodging him ("they" say absence makes the heart grow fonder), plus I was freaking out thinking that I might be pregnant (condom broke some weeks back), eventually "suzie" came and all was better! SO when he showed up at my place on Sunday night (with beer & cigarette in hand) I told him I was pregnant with a serious look on my face - His reaction was priceless!!!

Then he started yelling @ me for drinking and smoking, I wanna kill his baby blah, blah, blah! After that he really started panicking and I wasn't helping even one bit - Me = "Ya so now that you've made me pregnant, I know you'll leave me blah, blah" - that kind of talk forcing a tear to run down my face, I didn't work!

Then he started askin what we were going to do, maybe we should move in together so he'll look after me!!! Right there I was like NO fcukin way, so
I had to tell him that I was joking - that obviously pissed him off! He got over it only yesterday!

April fools in March, whaahahaha! Ok but clearly he didn't find it funny!

There is a problem with telkom, since yesterday phones ore not working! Eish!

I'm so looking forward to the long weekend! Haaa, waking up late for 4 days!

HappY WeekEnd....

Happy Friday everybody................

I LMAO when I read sweets post about the English v/s Americans.....

I am so chuffed at the thought of waking up at 08H00 tomorrow being a Saturday and all, 8am is waking up late for me - somehow I have a weird thing about oversleeping, I never do, Even after a hectic drinking night I wake up early, pretend to be busy, try to cure my hangover and then sleep on the floor as a "relaxation" thing. I suck, I need hobbies!

Ok besides that, Kwaki leather pants in Venda are it - as hot as it is there - trust me you'll be a winner with the ladies ( and that qualifies as the worst advice to date)

Yo, I had a dream ( am trying to decide if it was a good dream or a nightmare) of a 7year old cute girl pinning some terrified looking boy on the floor, ripping his clothes of and talking dirty to him..... this after I had read Bridget's post one last time before heading home! SCary isht.

As usual I have no plans for the weekend. chilling @ home watching tv/movies are it, so it seems - don't know whether that make me a person who doesn't have a social life or a person who appreciates "quality" time alone, hmmmm!

Ok have a good one!

And fromnow on if yu spot any typos or any other funny errors - I decided that my spell check doesn't work - so deal with it!

Chat rooms

Am still searching for something smart to post about................

Anything other than the fact that I officially dub myself an internet whore - I've been called that before but now I see it!

I am daing chat rooms 3 of them........... I'm a hit @ all of them but am gettin a bit freaked out as some say "Ai, I know you.... Why you looking for men on the net, you always have men around you mos!"

Ok so now I know - the next time this person sees me anywhere around here, he'll want to talk and probably share the news with other weirdos.

Right!

You wouldn't believe the requests I am getting from these people, shooooo!!!

I'm gonna go think now.... I'll probably go back to the same topic but give more detail!!!

Zodiac thingies!!!

Ok, I've admitted to this before and I will again I read these star signs astronomy thing.... but sometimes they scare me 'coz I often think that if I read it one day, it'll say that I have 3 hours to live blah, blah,blah. And if the same thing is written in all the magazines and there are about a million Aquarians reading this thing, does it really apply to each and every one of them. One said I must'nt waste my money on unnecessary things or I'll have financial trouble later in the month!!!

Last Friday, the booze was on me (friends & I drink - a lot) and I don't even want to think how much I spent but this week (and it is only the 5th) I am broke..... sad I know but Arg, doesn't it always happen! Anyhooo, I am quite sure that there are extremely wealth Aquarians that are not broke right now or anytime soon!

Ah well, so I received this email from a cousin of mine (really, people that work at the bank do get bored, you should see the crapy emails they circulate), and it has the star signs thingy going on! Read mine, most of what they say about Aquarians are true (yes,yes - about me that is) but I will have them know that I am an emotional person.... I have a heart afterall, there was a time I thought I was heartless too but now I'm ok!

Oh, they said I must forward it or I'll have bad luck - bullsh*t!

Read yours!!!

Star Signs, Random Email and Superstitions

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they Want. 20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful. 8 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. M ak e g rea t friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Deter mi ned. Indulge themselves often. Very generous. 12 years of bad Luck if you do not forward


GEMINI - The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable But needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22)Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


LEO - The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22)Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive. 13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to.Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22)Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


SCORPIO - The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21)Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out. 14 years of bad luck if you do not forward

Dildo

Like seriously.....

Some person out there sat down and designed the very first dildo/vibrator! Was that person male or female and the hell was going through their minds when they thought "Geez let me make something that resembles or replaced a dick for women (who might be lonely or simply sexually frustrated)!

People come up with the most weird and sometimes helpful things on earth, Kwaki once tried starting a trust (back when I still had man issues)..... "Buy diva a dildo fund", and I am not sure how that ended, if there was money that came in then he probably bought booze with it!

Oh well........ was just a thought!

YaY to internet connection

Being without internet sucks big time, the last week has been very difficult.... but I am back now!

A lot of things happened the last 2 weekends but clearly they were not too important or life changing in any way as I cannot even remember much!

The new help managed to do all my washing, even the things that have been in the laundry bin for more than 3 months, eeuw! But haai, the cleaning is not so good, I came to find that the beer bottle stain on the coffee table was still there, there was dust on the tv, fingerprints on the fridge door and things under my bed!!! Wasn't too impressed @ all but then againg it's the dirty clothes I was more worried about and even if she did clean, I'd still think it wasn't good enough..... Bad habit of mine, I have my own way of cleaning and things won't be perfect unless I do them myself.

Let me do some work and blog later.

The new Help....

For the first time in my life I have a maid.......

Ya at my parent's house there was a person "helping" with the cleaning and the washing! So this female is doing my laundry today.... and possibly cleaning my house (House means a Bachelor's flat in my terms)! I must say that I am not too comfortable with the thought of a stranger being @ my place while I'm @ work or away. I leave my things anywhere coz well I live alone and do not believe that I have to hide my things!

It is a relief in a way coz I haven't had time to do my washing since February started, yup, it has been that long! I get home around 5 and on weekend I am usually recoverying from the Friday night drinking thing I like so much, I do not own a waching machine so I did my laundry by hand. So, so difficult to be a young, working, wanna-be something (someday soon) woman and still have time to do all these chores that take up so much time....... pheww and I'm still to have a "live-in-lover" and a bambino, how will I ever cope when the time comes????

Hope nothing goes missing or "misplaced" as I am very much scared pf confrontations. Will have to find out later on today if I want to keep the help!

BorinG DraMa

Oh bumber..... Man- Stealer- Drama not as juicy as I'd like it to be!

Turns out that the woman, flirted with HP while they were at some Road show thingy for FNB (where they both work) last weekend!

So HP get to telling the story and this what he said happened:

On the bus headed to some where in Secunda, the woman was askin him questions about his "girl friend" = me, and all that other nonsense about true love and isht. After the promos that they were doing, they all went drinking ( and HP not being much of a drinker got drunk too quickly - huh), suddenly him and the woman were deep in conversation (her telling him things a bit too private) and then sometime during that she asked him to walk her to the loo then outside for a smoke......

That is where she apparently "asked" to kiss him and he says he though she was kidding... blah, blah - bottom line he kissed her back!

And he says that is where it ended, nothing more than a kiss! Right, at this point of the story I was not pissed @ all!

So comes Monday @ their work place.... woman was calling HP and talking dirty to him.... tee, hee! Askin him how he liked the kissed and if he would like more than that, er..... I've spent enough time with HP so I knew his response before he told me - "eish, eish.... ah, no". (He has issues with women who are upfront about what they want, he becomes shy/embarassed when some women come on to him, learnt the hard way!)

So it was a night of flirty like text msg's mixed with confessions of how her husband doesn't appreciate her, what, what, he's cheating and all that nonsense! Oh and how she is what HP needs, not some immature 24year old girl that will never be enough for him........huh??? Imagine! And she has never seen me before. My Gawd!!! The nerve of that woman.......

But I have decided that she is bored with herself and her messy relationship... and I won't be bothered coz that man she's after sleeps on my bed, next to me every night.... except for when I've had alcoholic beverages, nonetheless, he's close enough!!!

See.... boring drama, much like scandal on etv, puhshhh!

YaY... I Love Drama

Finally, drama in my "Love" life - YaY...............

Apparently there is some older woman (+- 38) that is wanting to steal my BF.

Was starting to feel like I was the only woman who thought HP is good Lover-Material! Phewwww!!!

Ok, HP is visiting later tonight and will tell me what's goin' on! So I'll let you know what's up tomorrow!!!!

Having a very hectic day @ work..... busy, busy, busy!

SLow MonDaY

Ok, new week.... the whole love-thing madness has faded a bit, had a working weekend and I am tired as hell but since I work 4 BEE boss I had to drag my ass to work even after I cried diarhhoe (Spelling???) & exhaustion! My skin colour had changed to navy black after the bloory sun toasted me, that place was fcukin hot.

Had booked accommodation @ some Guesthouse house in BadPlaas and because finding a proper place to sleep there can be close to impossible on the weekend the wasn't any room for being too picky but eish that place was seriously dodgy, and it did cost like R240 p.p so I had to make new plans and convinced some reservations lady @ Aventura to give us rooms, leaving the Guesthouse person quite pissed coz she had to cancel her plans to accommodate us! Our sound engineer guys managed to pick up a few chicks and took them back to the hotel, funny picture.....

My thoughts: Uneducated women from rural areas that hang out & drink zamalek (Carling Black Label) at the local shebeenS are just not a plan, finish! And some don't believe in condoms..... huh..... can U imagine? Drinking Savanna is an upgreade for some of them, the guys bought them a 12 pack and they didn't even have to say much to make them come with. I didn't even ask what went down when I saw the guys @ the stadium the following morning - they were babalaazed, that much I know! Am scared at the behaviour!!!


Do ya'll have any idea how much make-up some of these artist put n their faces to look so good. haai, I was disturbed by the Before - Immediate -and- after images of Chomee ( signed to 999 music)!

Fact: Arthur Mafukate aka King of Kwaito (if he still calls himself that) really sucks and only the gods know what would happen to his carreer without those lil' and Old girls in the skimpy rags they'd like to call "outfits"...? Those girls can dance or maybe its the jumping around and showing off of under wear that confuses us so much? Someone wise tell him to resign as a singer and rather stick to producing!

As I am typing this, ne, I am slowly dosing off and my boss is sitting right opposite me!

Ok later................... before I make more spelling errors and write more nonsense

HaPPy V'dAy

Happy Valentine's day to all those who care.............

But I was thinking, since it is such a big deal (see tv ads, magazines & radio competitions etc), wouldn't it much nicer if Valentine's day became a public holiday... like we don't have to go to work or school on the day? That way it would have more meaning to the rest of us who see no point in it (mainly 'coz I won't get anything), ne like we can chill and have a lekker braai with friends & non existing/imaginery boyfriends! That is so a plan!

Unfortunately I can change our calender, but say if Zuma celebrated V'day - we would definately get a public holiday in the future!

My ass is officially not getting anything special today, sigh..... oh well I got 10 more months left in this year to get HP to spoil me!!!

Help

One thing: I need remedies to get rid of period pains, serious ones @ that! At this point I'll do just about anything to make them go away... pweeeeze, pweeeeze! I can't take it anymore...

I can't write much today as I am in great pain, no smile on my face & not in a good mood @ all!

It's V'day tomorrow, am sick..... no nookie, no gift,nothing! This so sucks....

Sh*t as I see it!

South Africa, South Africa.....................

Every second person with some title in front of their name ( in GVT especially) you meet in this country, no wait this continent is corrupt and greedy in some way! And we, the people are paying for it. I am officially starting to save up money so I can flee this country, am thinking of moving to Christmas Island (and it does exist), where I'll work as a waitress @ some coffee shop and still make a good living out of it, enjoying sundowners every evening with a beau whose name I won't be able to pronounce!

Let's face it, S.A is fast becoming like Zim.... See how they stripped Mbeki of his dignity! It's like Zuma is god to some and the rest of us that couldn't be bothered by politics will have to put up with whatever that these people dish our way!

News this morning ( I am a bit behind with the news generally as I only watch a bit in the morning), I hear Pharmaceutical (spelling) companies are just as bad as the construction & security companies when it comes to bidding for tenders.... Yo! Story uninteresting to me really but I couldn't help putting my 2cents worth of a comment! And then there is that white boy from Skeilek who went on some killing spree and now claims madness....... please that boy deserves the death penalty finish & klaar!

My boss yelled @ me yesterday, I got so pissed off I wanted t quit my job as it is happening a bit too often lately but then I remembered that I have to pay my rent, feed myself and support my bad/expensive habits.... Eish, 1 day I'll drop da bomb on them when they least expect it! Slowly counting the days!!!!

Ok back to work now!

My b'day weekend

Bruised leg = Fridays party @ ARC too hectic, vivid memories of certain incidents.... like how I ended up with bruises on my left leg! The most that I remember is that I had fun, saw people some I couldn't be bothered with & some I was please to see.

Saturday - started off on a slow note as I was still recovering from the night/morning before, babalaas and phone ringing non-stop! We all looked lost and bored for a while, till I changed into this top I had worn once since I bought it somewhere in Dublin 3 years ago, my boobs have grown so much since then so imagine nice silky black top exposing cleavage to the max ( At some stage I think my one boob did pull a Janet Jackson number there but people were too drunk to notice).

Booze everywhere, people dancing ama get-down, strange people that clearly gate-crashed as I did not know them @ all. Other felt out of place so they left, good! Only my butler tray's leg broke a litle bit besides that 4 one nothing went wrong, my "old age" neighbour's didn't even call the cops on my ass - wow!

Yes, most of them didn't bring their own booze - I had to buy... I'm broke but I had tons of fun so I'll bitch about it later.

Body still tired... wishing for a nap but I gotta work!

and I didn't any gifts from these arses I call friends, how nice! HP is the only one who gave me something - a pair of Pumas, lovely!

Sunday was just spent lazing around (for me that is) HP was sweet enough to clean my place and make me supper - it looked strange when people came over as I was laying on the couch while the man is slaving in the kitchen - ya! After supper he got to massaging my oh so sore feet coz I kept complaining that my body being in pain! and I didn't even have to ask. I'll marry someone like him someday!

HuH........

Am feeling a bit sluggish today and I don't understand why coz I had a great shag this morning! I can't allow myself to feel like this, I wanna get smashed tonight.........

So last night HP tells me that I shouldn't expect anything from him 'cuz he doesn't celebrate valentine's day, said every day is valentine's day 4 him! Now what do I say to that??? There goes my first chance to do the whole V'day thing, ah well I'll just hold my thumbs and hope I get something nice to compensate for my disappointment!

Can't wait for knock-off time so I can go home, do a bit of cleaning and take a nap, am realy feeling odd!!!

Happy weekend everybody, mcwah - mcwah!

The industry.....

The reason why they still let Thembi Seete embrass hersels on national tv is se-riuo-ss-i-ly beyond me! She is simply too old for what she's doing on Jika Ma Jika and as for her vocab, My Gawd! Her place in the entertainment industry waved bye-bye the second Boom Shaka members tried "persuing" solo careers. Clearly Lebo left with all the talent!

And who the hell decided that her co-presenter had talent? SABC, please! And they still think we'll pay our tv licenses for the crap they dish on our screens!

Some "artists" really cannot sing.... think Siphokazi - ayatlabalasa ( Gawd knows I would have put that in English if I knew how to translate it), Yvonne Chaka Chaka is even worse & and "they" call her a legend - b'coz of that I am now very confused as I no longer understand the meaning of legend! See I have figured what these radio stations do, they keep playing the same songs over and over again trying to convince us that they are good songs when they really aren't, do you have any idea how many "good" artists they are in this country whose music is just put aside because they don't have the proper "connections".

Ok, so who are they sleeping with or who are they paying to get so much airplay??? Even if they pretend to be doing things honestly, some radio DJ's know that they are getting payed under carpet!!! That's is what I've decided and ya'll can't convince me otherwise!

Does Penny Lebyane still calls herself "The Phly one", I once imagined her flying away (literaly) when she wore some feathery outfit @ some event, apparently she is one of the "Best Dressed" celebrities in SA. Which will bring me to my next question what qualifies a person to be a celebrity. SA seems to have a lot of those but we just can't see their role nje in general.

One thing though, comedians rock!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Vanyentine'z daY

I think I have wrote about this before but heck.... I'll be repetitve for the sake of being understood!

This will be my first valentine's day with an actual boyfriend..... se-ri-ous-i. I have never received anything on the day before! Reasons would include being dumped a few days before valentine's day or gifts for imaginery boyfriends (cyber dating - yeah I know, creepy) getting lost by post.

Though this year will be different.... I am still NOT going to celebrate the darn day simply coz (as most people say) a money making plot and it is over rated, who the fcuk knows this St. Valentine dude? And why are retailers trying to cash in using the poor man's name? what is he getting out of it?

Sure I will gladly accept any gift that comes my way but I am certainly not buying any (or it could just be that I don't know how to go about getting a man (with good taste) a gift.

Good thing though is that I am NOT going to bitch about it....

Who said the 14th February should be the 1 day people declare their "undying" love for each other?

ReLationsHips take 1 (2008)

I am sitting here thinking to myself how the fcuk I dated this one guy who, by the way has sent me about 13 emails in the last 5 minutes, emails that I have read atleast 3 times to understand coz the spelling errors there are not normal @ all! I mean we have absolutely nothing in common whatsoever, I don't rememer having a proper conversation that lasted more than 3 minutes with him ( not counting the day I was dumping him), he's short and chunky ( I'm big enough 4 2 people therefore I stick to slim guys) ok looks don't matter much but then again it doesn't hurt to have a good looking man waking up next to you now and then, uhmmmm - back to my problem.

It's like I have dating weird people nje and I really don't understand why... The other one is married but can't seem to be faithful to wife! That story is just to depressing and I will end it right there.

One other one I just couldn't figure if it was love, like, lust or pity I felt for him.... and yup it never worked out as well.

I have since decided to think of it as a "very confusing part of my life" coz I can't justify it any other way, sadly.

HP has his own weird abnormalities, but for once I just do NOT care - to the extent that I actually think some of them a cute! Cute being nasty yet adorable.

See what I meant when I said love makes people do silly things!

Remind me to tell ya'll about valentine's day - sad, sad story!

Oh gosh...........

Right now it is 08h55..... I got to work @ 08h00! I was about to blog about my weekend when female boss called saying I must take her car and bring some document to her house as she'll be a bit late. Ok got there took in those damn papers and I was leaving I reversed and smashed her gate with her car!!!

It doesn't look pretty @ all......... I ran inside the house and confessed my sins before she saw it herself! Funny.... I don't know what scared me the most between the smash noise and the pissed-off look on her face!!! By the way, this was my very first "accident" with me driving - and I was sober, imagine that!

So I think I can forget about getting a lil' extra $$$ for my b'day from her!!! Now I have to tell everybody who was coming to my place on Saturday to bring their own booze ( those m*thaf*ckaz can drink, I won't be able get all of them drunk)....

Now aint that a fcuked up way to start a Monday morning.......

NST, for a small place has got a lot of scandals!

No cap and load shedding

First it was load shedding then after I downloaded a few things I reached my cap..... 'twas a rather sad time for me coz I couldn't blog or go to mySpace!

I swear I had so many thing I wanted to write about but now I've just gone blank!

All is still good in love-land, everyting is just so FINE that it is starting to bore me! Where is the drama and petty fights??? Gosh.... I like him a lot though!

Other things seem to be goin well, and I've decided that 2008 should be the year I learn how to budget properly so I do not find myself broke every now & then! I am afterall turning 24 and am well on my way of being a grown-up, not young adult anymore....

Funny story, Mother asks when I am getting hitched seeing how fast the years are going past.... me said, Errrrrrrrrr, So what am I getting for my b'day?

It is a Friday people and (even though am tryin to save $ to buy more booze on he 9th) I will get sloshed this weekend....... I will come up with better things to write about on Monday!