**BiTcHiNG**

I've got so much bitching, I actually don't know where to start!

1. The first one has to go to my moody house mate, that dude is so moody you'd swear he was pmsing.... really, he's just actin like a bitch these days and I will confront him tonight. I took some time out to calm down coz I knew I was gon' say some hectic things had I spoken yesterday. To top that he still denies that he is gay, a straight man wouldn't do what he's doing!!!

2. Whe you going to publicise an event all over facebook, have banners & posters everywhere.... you better make sure you deliver what is promised!

• Friday night BF & I went to La Kalabash VIP Lounge Launch........ that promised to be mother of all parties to date (in Nelspruit that is),
• We were told to "Dress to Kill", "No entry if you do not look the part".... Bull shit, here is what I have to say: Sasco..... Blue Jeans & a white shirt witha KWV scarf is not dressing to kill, how the hell are we supposed to stick to the dress code if the organiser himself is wearing like he's going to the shops, oh and DARK SHADES AT NIGHT are NOT "IT", them so-called celebs you see on tv are not fashion icons, quit trying to be like them. That goes for you too Brian!
• Please, the next time you invite people to a function........ warn them before hand that they are going to a Nigerian owned venue coz damnit those Naija brothers were all over the show pushing us from side to side!!!
• Where the hell have ya'll seen a "VIP Lounge" with disgustingly dirty toilets that some of us had to run to the parking lot to go squat there (Trust me hygenically, the parking lot was safer than those toilets). Brown, smelly toilets... YUK. I saw some chick there pissing in the basin coz she couldn't stand going nto those toilets..... some other girl puked there too.
• The welcome drinks were shity too..... one had a choice between cheap red wine or KWV whiskey that I swear tasted like brandy!
• They ran out of Marzen Golds................................................... WTF?
• Half the seats there were broken?????
• The music was ok
• Oh, next time.... make the dj's and artists feel welcomed, no free booze or atleast water for the DJ's.

3. Kliff ~ for your career's, please ditch those dancers you had on Friday....... they'll fuck up your stage act. Blue & Cream are their names!!! With stage names like that what would one have expected anyways.

4. Sdunkero ~ The one SAMA award you received didn't make you..... We did. Stop frotin and never 4get the ones who supported you before you became "it".

5. May my ex fling-shag buddy person please get over himself, you are not gawd gift to women, no you are NOT...... and stop askin me to but you a drink, aren't you supposed to be loaded??? You claimed you were!

6. I wish pretty girls would stop sellin themselves short, or being whores I don't know which one to use. At this day and age with aids being the way it is, girls shouln't be goin out looking to be laid by anyone who spents small change on them. That is so not fashionable, especially these students that leave rural areas comin here to study and end up being biatches! EuWW...

Ok then...... I think I am done for now but will be back!!!

Weekend!

shoo where do I start???

Durbs was nice, chilled with the family.... Momma had a super braai for her b'day (You know how oldies do it)!

Aunts, cousins, nieces & nephews all came and danced like "merry" people half the night (I had no choice but to be sober the whole weekend)

Old stories were told as they reminisced on what a troublesome teenager I used to be.... wow!

Yo, my momma got down to old Whitney Houston tracks!

Wished I could've chilled there longer but no..... I had to be @ work!

I got to Nelspruit @ 4.50am by the way and @ 6 I had to wake up & get ready for work (wishing for a day off, yes, yes!)

BF had a blast this past weekend I hear.... hmmm Wonder what he got up to?

Oh I found myself waiting @ the park station for the 22h00 bus..... the one going to Maputo via Nelspruit... dear lord! My ass just froze away and as soon as I got into the bus, there was this funky smell... I have no idea how to explain that stink but it was just there and I had to grin & bear it for about 5 hours as the bus drove!

While waiting there I contacted a jozi hookup but he stood me up.... hmmm I wonder!!! Anyhoo 'twas good though!

I am so not trying to be funny or any other way but there is always that smell when I am standing next/ talking to a male person from Maputo hmmm - that just came to mind right now!

Movin on along...... I am tired, so tired that I actually just want to dose off and 16h30 is just so far away!

Did a bit of shopping too... oh how I love big malls!

Besides that nothing new really!

My male boss was at court today....... someone tell Mafikizolo's management that they are in shit with the law at Pilgrim's rest!!!! Seriously!

My boss was there coz he slapped their road manager...... well it turns out that they (Mafikizolo & crew) were all drunk (driver included), the assaulted some poor Indian man who happened to be carrying a lot of cellphones at the time & they... helped themselves to those phone! The cops there were patiently waiting for them and they were a no show - again!

Haai no

Anyways.... someone tell me how Indian people are able to eat such hot food? Better taste buds or glands, maybe chillies doesn't make them bond with the toilet seat & toilet paper??? That was just a random thought!

Happy Weekend People...

I still cannot accept that I have to shag someone to get what I want.... hell no!

Mine's not made of gold.... but I am not giving it up just like that!!!!

Am I dumb for believing that I will get ahead using my brains and working hard? I mean really - I wouldn't wanna be known for sleeping my way to the top.... how will ever sleep at night???

You should see the old-hairy-disgusting men that want me to shag them in return I will get a nice high paying job.... but is that guaranteed???? How long will it take for other people to realise that I wasn't employed coz of qualifications or experience????

Anyways I was chilling to the people who always know what is going on in other peoples' lives, my gosh .... my jaw was on the floor!

Corruption & promiscuity will never stop in Mpumalanga - I see!

Sure it is true that there is nothing for mahala.... yup! Fortunately I am one of those people who refuse to be exploited and isht!

Question: What happened to most of the people who joined the MPower boat when the station was first introduced???? think Mash, Helen (Gosh I hope they do not read my blog or I'll be in shit). Still though... everybody else is talking about it so WTF???

Oh and I hope that some people stop acting smart when they actually steal other people's ideas , making them their own! They must stop being greedy and let the rest of us unknowns get a slice of the big cake.

Then you get the ones who like acting as if they are celebs when they are around normal people like us.... I only have one thing to say to them: "Stop acting like a big fish in this our tiny pond." Thank you very much.

Ok, enough about that....

I'm off to Durban tonight, it's been a while since I've gone home! Chilling with the family, sleeping in my old bed & covers! Yeah... am quite happy about that. Twas my momma's b-day yesterday, big braai on Saturday.

Oy, BF is pissed off that I was pissed off and I told him that I wasn't pissed coz of him, I was pissed coz I have the flu and I hate having the flu... oh and I got it from him just by the way!

Have a beautiful weekend!

Random thoughts...

How I wish it was weekend already.....

I'm going to Durban, for a few reasons ~ See my momma, One World Festival, hook up with friends and get some of my old clothes to see if they still fit me!!! I am not sure about the last reason by WTH...

I also have the flu, for the second time this year and I got it from the BF....
I only get flu once a year and I am quite pissed that I got it again, I cannot stand being sick. The runny nose, phlem and sore throat just doesn't sit well with me!

I'm broke... yes I am but I am worried about it! Ever since I paid off all my accounts ~ Life is just a breeze! I don't owe anybody, I don't have monthly installments/insurance/petrol/car service that I have to pay for... wow! To top that off I just couldn't be bothered with getting a funeral cover or getting into these investment schemes and so on... simply coz I just do NOT give a rats arse what happens! I have no child to look after, the BF can sort himself out, besides I don't understand why I should put aside money that will be misused by other people when I am dead..... (sounds like crazy talk huh). So if I die soon, my momma will bury me - that I am sure about!

Ask me about this after I get knocked up or have a lil' Diva protege running around then maybe I'll consider getting into these savings/investments thing.

Anyhoo.... back to FB now!

MPower...... Auditions were KAK!

Yup I said it, it is so not like me but hey someone has to say it!!!!

I know ya'll gonna think I am beefing coz I didn't make it but let me tell what went down anyways.......

First a huge hoo-haa is made about the event on Facebook, radio etc, it took place @ Riverside Mall right in front of Pick n Pay, Clicks and the other shops there - causing some sort congestion there. Basically everyone that walked passed, stood and watched as me & a hell lot of other people made idiots out of ourselves.

I mean couldn't they just make it somewhat private and relaxing.....

Think about it, while you are standing there trying to follow the poorly written script.... you have all kinds of people staring at you and probably analysing + gossiping about your accent or the way you are dressed ~ I swear that was so uncomfortable!

I assume they were trying to create a reality-type thing happening there but it was too noisy & there were just too many distractions period!

Anyways..... so there I am with Kliff & BF there, trying our "luck". Oy... first they tell Kliff that he sounds like community radio material!

Some girl went after him then it was my turn.....

Ya'll know that I am somewhat shy neh.... so there I was script in hand, hands and knees shaking like a mutther (that is how I get when I am nervous) reading through the damn thing when ~ just half way through it this guy Dave, who is apparently the programmes manager - decides to stop me and ask if I am chewing gum or something?.... I answered No, then he went to say that there was something wrong with my "speech" and that I was too laid back! Right then my mind just switched off and did not bother listening to what he had to say..... I just turned and walked away having not heard what the rest of the "JUDGES" had to say obviously.

After an hour's interval... they carried on with the auditions calling back the 13 people who had made it earlier on. This time they all had to say the exact same thing - (Ya I was still there giving Kliff some moral support).

Out of the 13 there were 4 black guys, 1 gay shim, 4 black chicks & 4 white chicks.... out of that number only 5 people went to the final. The 5 people included 1 guy, 1 shim, 3 white chicks!

Shocked about the outcome, I decided to ask questions and managed to gather the following:

1. This was just a publicity stunt....

2. They already know who they will employ as their next jock....

3. That person happens to be some white chick from around, that is what they were looking for all along....

Now I am asking why the hell are they wasting so much of the sponsor's (Vodacom) money, going to all these places ( Witbank, Nelspruit & Secunda)???

Me think it's because they are trying to get people to listen to their station.... which is quite difficult for some of us coz I personally think that they play kak music, discuss whack topic, have egomaniacs for jocks and not much originality/creativity is goin on there so on&on... I can bitch about this till dusk! It's like they are told what to say!

The one good thing though, is that the money is quite good.... which the draw card for me (I need to buy me a car ya'll)!

One of the judges was the guy that does the breakfast show, talk about a brother playa hatin on another.

Some have even called the station manager a puppet as he cannot even make decisions on behalf of the station - wow!

So ya, that was my weekend basically........

I still cannot believe I plucked up the courage to stand in front of people and " audition".... Auditions were not made for a person like, worse I hate being looked at so you can just imagine how terrified I was...... my nerves just got the better of me!


***Just by the way, this so not a racial thing... It's just way more than that***

Thank the gods, 'tis Friday!

Have nothing planned and sleeping a bit longer than normal might just the highlight of it!

Oh, I have a problem..... I can't touch a car's door, pc screen, spoons and sometimes people! I am static, I think.

I am now tryin to figure out how I can put this so that I don't confuse you.... it feels like a slight electrocution and I can't take it anymore!

have a fab weekend!!!

the weekend I had....

I cannot believe I was dancing with old women on Saturday, my gosh!

On Friday, I spent time with BF and had a quiet time as I did not know where the Ligwalagwala FM party was ~ as they said, they don't bother inviting me anywhere coz I keep myself locked up!!!! Well, It's actually called being in love and having other priorities besides braving the cold to get smashed and having strangers with huge egos all up in my business!!! Try having a hot bodied someone sleeping next to you.... then weigh your options!!!

On Saturday: Went to harass my former landlord for the money he owed me, R3000 is a lot of money especially if you as broke as I was. Hooked up with my chef friend who whipped up some delissshh food while we sipped our soberness away, went to the FNB basement party... it was horrible but I had fun nonetheless!!! Went to a fab dinner @ Orange.... had a fab time there aswell.

Sunday, I finally decided to clean my room after I woke up at about 15H00 -

BF tried giving me a homemade manicure....... it did NOT work out @ all, shame ~ at least he tried!

That is it for my weekend.

My momma is coming to South Africa this week..... yay! I miss the woman, even though she gets on my nerves sometimes, she's the only one I got!!!

Later

@@@@ no title realy!

Have ya'll ever bought someone a rather expensive gift and they somehow didn't like it, well they'll pretend that they do but in actual fact they just loath it...............

Oh, I think that is the case with BF right now.... on Saturday, me feeling all generous and shit decided to buy the man some things, he has gotten me stuff before so I thought that maybe if I also got him something he'd be happy! My dear lord, I saw this look on his face that just said "What the fcuk were you thinking woman?" and did I mention that I spent a lot of money on those gifts?

Anyways so ya, that is that..... I was upset about it but now, I am cool. We are going to a "hobbo" party at his work place on Saturday - I am however still trying to cook up an excuse to miss it and I haven't been successful yet. I see, the only way I might win is if I suddenly get my period and start crying from the hectic cramps! Yuk.....

Did I tell you guys how annoying some of work buddies are?

Oh - another funny one: Abe, the midget-looking like friend we stay with is going out with Heidi.... the same girl that BF was macking on or dating (don't know the real story there) when we met. BF didn't look very impressed with that and now I am wondering WTF?????? More like - don't make me go crazy on you now? Abe also has a new hobby = macking on every available woman at the complex we live in.

It's Phuza Thursday today - trust Gareth Cliff to promote that on 5FM!!!

Weekend -

This past weekend was just crazy.......

• Hooked up with a few friends,
• Downed beers,
• Met a crazy chick who came down with a friend to Nelspruit for her B'day,
• Made up with BF after hectic argument on Thursday,
• Spent a lot of money on something, I just don't remember what exactly,
• Attended some Miss Barberton shit thing - poorly organised, too many drunk people in one place has never been wise.
• Got a flat tyre on Kliff's car
• BF drank till he puked,
• I danced like a white chick - no offence.......
• Somehow managed to get my laundry done....
• Realised how hot BF actually is...... strange that I had never noticed that before.
• Had a serious shaggathon going on as well,
• Harold & Kumar is the isht...

Ya, now am @ work (though I wish I wasn't)...... wearing something very floral (my washing had no dried in the morning). I have no idea where to start or what I should do today.

My one friend had a baby shower over the weekend, I couldn't make it but I had a cool chat with her over the phone.....

then it hit me.... again - my gosh I am growing older, almost everybody is getting older and doing what old people do and me, I still dress up the same way as I did when I was still a student, I talk funny isht, given the chance I play with kiddies stuff, play street soccer and do all the other isht I did back in the day. My hairstyle hasn't changed either, my tongue is still pierced...

I don't know why people change so much when they get to their mid/late 20's. they dress funny too.

Ah well, as shocked as I am - still, I cannot believe I haven't change much since those days and I am planning keeping things like that for a very, very log time - or maybe until I get kids.

Wednesday.....

I totally bored the isht out of myself today..... that was not good! I have never been bored with myself coz I always think of something interesting! Who the fcuk is s'pposed to find me interesting if I, myself am not interested!!!! Seriously, I see trouble!

Am now avoiding all calls from unknown numbers as I, earlier on - cussed (in a vulgar manner) at the BF's ex.... the woman keeps sending him texts & calling him - Like.... they have nothing to talk about and definitely no going down memory lane.

This is so not like me but fcukit, she annoys me to the core.

Besides all that, all is still good @ my love land!

People are headed down to Durban for the July shindig... drive safely & have stax of fun! I personally think it is a waste of money and the fun is really enjoyed by the rich & famous, as they get vvip treatment while a normal Tom just go on ahead trying to fit in..... when they don't really care who the fcuck you are.

I on the other hand am planning on getting heavily smashed with Kwaki, BF, Kliffo'day & who ever that decides to join us!!!

Don't ya'll wish Bridget could update her blog.... I miss her!

Oh well, back to work!

Tuesday.....

This past weekend was chilled out... later on I got to doing some dancing @ News Cafe, I regretted it in the morning but it wasn't half as bad as the hang over I had - it lasted the whole day! Jugermeester or some isht like that had something there and we got heavily smashed - BF was worse (remember it only takes 3 beers to get him drunk).

Ya'll should have seen him shaking things that should never shake on a striper-pole! I danced on it too - and fell a few times but who cares....

I couldn't eat, walk or watch tv.....

I spent like half my rent money so now I am in a sorry state.... but fcukit I'll get over it soon.

This week got off on a boring start, am hoping that it ends with a blast!!!

Kwaki is in Nelspruit.... yay! Planning on a serious debauchery nine9, on Saturday that is!!!!

So about the new job thing - they still want to employ me but only from October.... am thinking long & hard if I should for them or move on!!!!

Amy winehouse is full of shit.. or crack, either way she is a disgusting piece of trash with a very nice voice!!!!! She needs Jesus, immediately!

Wednesday~

BF's parents are coming to visit next week.... for the whole fcukin week!!!


SAVE ME......

That is a desperate cry for help! Asseblief tog!

BF is so happy coz "It'll give them a chance to know you".... NOT, they are already complaining that we are sleeping in the same room! OMG when will I get a chance to smoke or drink beer.....

This is so not happening, I wish it doesn't.... ooh but BF is gon' be so disappointed, saw his face change when he told me that they (his parents) would be visiting.... I just froze and the first words out of my mount were ~ What, why, when, why oh god, I think I need to visit a friend!

************************************************************

Moving on slowly......

Cats, I love cats for some reason they just interest me but because I am black I cannot have one as a pet for fear of being accused of practising witchcraft. It is so weird how black people are so supersticious.... as a teenager I wanted a monkey for a pet and my momma said NO, finish & klaar! "what do you want our neighbours to think???? I am not a witch and if we have a monkey staying with us, that is exactly what they will think"

Fcuk it man.....


SO as a results I grew up with no pets whatsoever.... there was that one dog a very long time a go but it tried biting me so it was clearly not my or our pet, a stray dog I think it was!

So BF wants a dog.... ok so I suggested that we get those miniature sausage dogs or chiwawa but no HE wants those big ass dogs..... my problem: they shit too much and I am terrified of them, they are so not cute!!!

Monday ~

Oh wow........

Happy Monday......

Enjoy the week.......

I don't know what's up but I am in a happy mood, no doubt!

Happy weekend ~

I stole this from Sweets........ Sue me, I'll hunt you down!

1. What is your first name?
… Khensani


2. What is your favorite food?
… Ocean Basket's Platter.... (hake, prawns, calamari, mussels etc)


3. What high school did you go to?
… Middleburg High then Hoerskool Bergvlam then Lowveld Christian School.... what???? I got expelled a few times.


4. What is your favorite color?
... Green, Yellow, Black - I have more than 1 fav. color!


5. Who is your celebrity crush?
… Jay Z - No, not Jacob Zuma, Josh Hartnet & Mathew (Failure to launch, yes that one)


6. What is your favorite drink?
… Water


7. What is your dream vacation?
… Anywhere I've never been to, @ someone Else's account ofcoz


8. What is your favorite dessert?
… Malva Pudding & Homemade custard


9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
… an extremely wealthy but unknown woman


10. What do you love most in life?
... Meself, duh!


11. What is one word that describes you?
… Oi


12. What is your blog name?
… Diva, there is no wow explanation to it really!


FriDay......Yay!

No plans, no,no but I am so gon' have fun.... even if it'll be just sleeping or watching movies!

Today was one of the most hectic ones at work - shooo, I didn't want to be me today!

Luckily.... I passed the test I wrote earlier on this week and I might be getting meself a new job that pays me at least 2grand more than what I am currently earning, it's not much but you'd be surprised to see how much that lil bit helps.

I would've taken any job, even if it payed me R100 more than my salary right now. The fact of the matter is that I want a new job, anywhere....as long as I don't work here anymore.

It sounds like I don't know what I wanna do with myself & career but honestly I have plans of owning something soon, still in process (don't wanna give too much details) and while I wait for that to take off, I wanna acquire as much knowledge, skills as needed from almost related fields, money and isht.

So ya....

Wish ya'll have a fab one!

Phuza Thursday ~ W-end almost here...

Oi...

I have started doing tummy crunches and all that stupid nonsense with the hopes of becoming a summer bunny, bombshell, sexy thang later on this year.... let me tell that it aint easy, in fact it is pretty fucked up coz my tummy hurts and apparently that is a sign that my muscles are working.

So BF is helping me out! It's weird but fine I guess.

And we....I have been invited to their "Hobo" party sometime soon. I know it's coz they wanna look/analyse me and shit. They (his work buddies) only see me from very far and I have heard that they think I some sort of weirdo. I'll show them who's the weird one! BF made me promise not to try and drink everyone under the table (free booze)... I said I wouldn't but how the heck will I relax if I'm sober????

NO fair.

I still think that the Nelspruit SABC only employs people who have a high alcohol tolerance..... jyslik, almost everyone I know who works there has a passion for booze, some more than me! And I thought that was highly unlikely unless I would be competing with a drinker that desperately needs to attend AA meetings.

Anyhoo.... gots to go back to pleasing the humans that pay my salary.

Ooh it's 'Phuza Thursday" today... or "Thirsty Thursday" to some (SABC employees, sshhh...)

Planting weed to save for wine....

oH wow....... it's rainy today. This weather makes me wanna sleep the whole day with breaks inbetween to go eat and then go back to the bed and do movies - romantic comedy maybe!

But


That is just me wishing.... I gotta work and money for my boss so he can buy another car this year!

Have I ever mentioned that I, just by the way... don't have one! I swear if I don't get one soon, I'll forget how to drive for real.

Anyways.... seems like no one has an overly interesting story to tell!

I have met people who are bull shit writers but really quiet people in person, I find that so strange! But then again, I guess that is the beauty of writing isht down that actually saying it like verbally...... some say it is verbal or oral vomit or some isht like that!

My BF smokes weed, and so I decided to plant him some. I mean it can't be illegal coz I won't be selling it, just growing it do that he can spent less on buying that stuff and invest in the wine collection I want so much... I can't brew my own alcohol but I can definitely plant some weed! Hope the police don't come check what I am doing there.... I have fears that my demented old tannie that leaves right next to us might rat me out. She's freaky always smiling and waving from her veranda. She's too nice in a weird kind of way, its suspicious!

Weekend - MonTuesday

Before I reach my cap and all.....

Let me post something.

Weekend - Long.... felt longer than it really was, I drank drinks with alcohol in them but did not get sloshed.... Sleepy & bored is more like it.

Tried doing the whole partying thing and that did not work out either...

So I thought to myself... hmmmm maybe I'm outgrowing this whole love today like it is your last thing and gotten used to just chilling when I have free time.

I enjoyed curling up on the couch more than the club thing.... wow!

Yesterday BF was trying to get me to go out coz he feels that "it is his fault" that people say that I am hiding myself and am "out of the scene".... which scene they are talking about, I do not know. But yeah so, yesterday I eventually went along with some friends and saw very new faces to me, some loud and pretentious, some ok and some thinking what the hell happened to er (her being me)... as ya'll might have read already I don't do fashion, I do me... so there I was chubby and all, wearing something that looks like a sarong wrapped as a top, afro out, cargo shorts and a camo bag!!!

I could just see all those weired stares and carried on talkin as usual.

Sunday: a chef friend of ours decided to make potjie kos.... yummy!

I was so full I just wanted to pass out!

I almost fell from a moving 1400 bakkie.... we were sitting at the back (you do know how small that car is right) and I was sitting on a camp master chair at the back. I was having a lekker time chatting with buddies when the driver decided to drive faster and making a turn that made the chair tilt a bit, making me almost fall out of the car.... so the same people I was chilling with had to grab me by my legs and one arm to stop me from falling!

My ass was terrified.... I have since refused to get into another Nissan 1400 bakkie.

Askies for the driver coz I told him exactly what I thought of his driving and so on.

This Tuesday feels like a bloody Monday...... I sense that I am gon have a very bad week @ work, I am writing a test today, I am broke and waiting for month end, both my bosses are moody today - oh wow is me, what am I going to do?...

Have a great one!!!

Happy Long Weekend....

I am so looking forward to relaxing this weekend....

It has been a long, tiring week for me (which is why I haven't been here so much).

This morning, I asked BF to put some fish fingers in oven, the man took the whole box of the think and chucked it in the oven - box and all!

Only when I started to check what funny smell was coming from the kitchen, I realised what he had done....

Dear God I said, what the f*ck was he thinking.... the whole kitchen was in smoke! Oh and on Wednesday, he decided that he was gon' make supper....

I wish he hadn't.....

Too much pepper and salt.... everything just looked brown, brown I tell ya! I love food with colour. Coz of the way that food was I was forced to have rusks & tea for supper.... of coz he ate his food, like there was nothing wrong with it.

June 16 is coming up and honestly lately the holiday for me has lost it's relevance, mostly coz for some it is just an extra day to get smashed and run amok. So I will spent the day catching up on my reading, I wished that there'd be some nice event goin on but haai, this is Nelspruit and the only events I know of is the government one and the "Back-to-School" party..... yup you have to be in a school uniform to get in.

I don't even have my old uniform with me anymore.... not sure if it would still fit me anyways.

Anyhooo.....

Hope ya'll have a supa rockas one!

Urgh tasting food....

I don't care how healthy it might be but Fat Free & Skim milk sucks... it's has this horrible taste that is just urgh....

I don't know how "health conscious" people do it. Tuna in "water" - I love my tuna with the veggie oil thank you. Then there is the Slimmer's steak - I buy that but it is so dry.

Obviously no one wants to be overweight and have funny illnesses caused by having an unhealthy "diet" but damn.... the skinny people overdo it sometimes...

I know I never want to be skinny but I don't wanna be "obese" either.

Ya, I don't do too fatty foods - but slap chips are an exception....

I love my food and there is no way I will start eating tasteless things coz it's "healthy and fat free"... I make sure that it is just healthy enough for me, I cook it so ya I check the things I put into whatever I am making....

What happens in Vegas..... def does not stay in Vegas!

I watched the movie: What happens in Vegas...... quite funny!

It was unplanned... the one minute we were going around looking for "lingerie" (apparently my underwear is not as sexy as I'd like to think it is, was.... whatever- ouch) the next thing we were paying for the movie tickets.

I hadn't done that in a while - mostly coz I chose to spend money on alcohol than goin to the movies. I can't be blamed for that though..... do you know how weird it is having people staring at you coz you came out of the theatre alone!!!

He, he, he ~ I've just remembered how strange it looked when these other friends of mine found me at my place sloshed out of my mind..... ALONE, and I was dancing.

One of them even decided to have a "talk" with me coz my drinking was getting out of hand (my thought: "WTF are you talking about dude, I just had about 12 bears that's all... shoo acting like I have major drinking problems") and it was a Friday ~ everybody knows that Fridays are "Get smashed" days so you can recover on Saturday & Sunday - duh!!!!!

Ok then..... about the movie, it is a must watch, it's nice with a bit of strange romance and isht! It'll make you laugh a little.... I find the strangest things funny so I laughed a lot!!!!

Mamma's boy is next..... next weekend!

ooh, Ooh.... we are having a long one. I am so gon' love this!!

.... Monday - June9

So there was a storm on Wednesday.... telkom lines were dead - that would be the reason for my quietness and boring week! No internet... and I couldn't use the office phone either.

Today I came to work looking very thuggish.... yes I am lokshin like that!

Had a niceish/quiet weekend, I was making noise but then it turns out that the other neighbor gave birth to a baby girl, 5 weeks premature and so w had to turn down the volume coz the baby was trying to sleep!!! Ya,

When I have mine.... I'll remember to make other neighbour's live miserable too just coz the baby wants to sleep!!!

So I had just a blah weekend...... with lots of beer!

Have a great week....

WednesDay...... (",)

What the fuck is it with men....

Think that they are always funny. BF in "play"mode... really ticked me off & left bruises on my arms and back, people might think that I am being physically abused by a deranged lover. So basically I started today in a very bad mood!

To add to that, his aunt called last night tellin him that it was a bad idea to live with me, it is like a "vat en sit".

Let me correct her....: Our living arrangement is not a vat en sit coz ~
1. We all pay the same amount towards rent.
2. His older brother stays with us as well as another friend....... we would've gotten a 1bed flat if that was the case, duh!!!
3. The reason behind this living arrangement was so that we could save a bit of money as we were all paying too much where we living...
4. It is convenient for everybody (for now that is)
5. If I was that kind of person, (slut is what she said I was... and the woman has never met me) doesn't she think I would gotten knocked up by some estranged dude by now... I had been living alone for a long time before I hooked up with current BF.

I don't feel like on about this anymore..... my gosh! Would ya believe that...

They ( BF's fam) seem to think that I am there to spend their son's money (which is not much, just so you know) and trap him in love-less vat en sit kinda situation.............................. or some odd shit like that!

I am the one who pushes him to do stuff for his fam as both the momz & papz are retired!

(**Calming down**)

So now that is the new drama in my love thing I have going on with BF.

And I am not talking to him today........ the whole day! I plan on sulking, moaning, irritating & pissing the shit out of all my housemates for the day. Childish..... maybe, but I'll do it anyways, coz I can.

TuesDay.... hubba ~ hubba

It hasn't even been a week and I am already not speaking to BF coz he refused to do the dishes last night. I made supper.....

I can't cook & do dishes while there are grown people in the house!

Like everytime something has to be done around the house.... he disappears! Oh & the excuses are there too. The "I have a terrible headaches", " I think I'm coming down with something & I am not too well" stories are old.. and I have used them all (when trying to avoid shagging)... and you'd think for a man he'd try some line I've never used on a man before!

I added yet another scar on me body... scraped my knee when I almost fell. How, why?????? I do not know, the one second I was walking then the next I was trying to balance and I was falling in a "would be very embarrassing" way. Anyways...

The new dude (the one that behaves gay but swears he is straight) asked when my female friends are coming to visit. Me said maybe this weekend and asked why.... " Oh, nothing. I am just wondering if they would want to come with us to the Blu Exclusive Party on Sats".

Uh huh.... what ever!

We (BF & I) are trying to hook up his older brother (31years old by the way) with a woman, any woman FFS... apparently he has never had a proper girlfriend and we suspect he is still a virgin. Do not ask why... we just do!

So he (older brotha) is reading & books of how to find a perfect partner and as a result of following the guidelines ~ none of what he has tried actually worked. The book is called "Waiting & Dating"

And he apparently is a born again christian person who attends some weird church but that is no excuse for him not to date.... everyone else he knows & goes to church with does.

Maybe I should butt out.....


mmmmm....

No, that is not my style........ I am the number on shit talker in the house so I'ma carry on pissing him off till he gets a GF before my BF gets too worried as he too suspects that his older brotha is gay! And you know how kasie boys are.., some just do not understand how a man can be gay when there are so many women out there.

Right..........


Back to work now!!!!

Got one......

From Mrs Susan Morgan
N�[38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody Abidjan,

Cote d'Ivoire
ATTNDEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Mr.Abram Morgan,who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he diedin the year 2004.

We were married for eleven years without a child. He diedafter a brief illness that lasted for only four days.Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death Idecided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which theBible is against.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of$2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here inAbidjan in suspense account.Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told methat i have serious sickness which is cancer problem.

The one that disturbsme most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided todonate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money theway I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fundfor orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour thatthe house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. Itook this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit thismoney and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want myhusband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation wherethis money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking thisdecision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going.


I knowthat I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says thatthe Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of myhealth hence the presence of my husband’s relatives is around me always Idon't want them to know about this development.

With God all things arepossible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact ofthe bank here in Abidjan. I want you and the church to always pray for mebecause the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of aworthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him inspirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.


Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information’s, any delay inyour reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual forthis same purpose.


Please assure me that you will act accordingly as IStated herein. Hoping to receive yourreply.

Remain blessed in the Lord.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs susan morgan

***************************************

Fine... I got one of these e-mails too and, what I wanna know is what are these people up to realy??? It bugs me 99.

So who wams to contact them and find out what they are on about????

Monday ~ Winter is here

I know I disappear sometimes- with the hope of coming back with a "bang".....(funny)

But that never happens!

I finally moved to that new place.... it's nice & biggish!

With the packing, unpacking, cleaning & doing 3week's of laundry..... I am still tired, so tired that when BF tried kissing me I told him he better stop coz he aint getting any - then later he got tired from cleaning & blah, I tried touching him & he told me to leave him alone coz I aint getting any either!!!!

I thought that we'd be shagging like monkeys since we'd be staying together full time.....


My room is a mess that I still haven't figured how I'm gon' clean up.

Oh.... we have another house mate staying with us, he insists that he is straight & attracted to older women @ that!!! This should really be fun... me staying with such funny characters!

I missed reading the posts from last week..... you know how it is like close to month end...... I have no internet connection!!!


It's starting to be cold ~ I know Joburg'az have been complaining about the cold weather for some time now but in Nelspruit.... It is still a bit warm.
I have to start investing in new pairs of socks!

This, being my very first time using prepaid electricity is gon' be tough coz apparently heaters use a lot of power.... I've never had to pay for electricity before and now I do and am being reminded to save, save, save!!! Shooo... hot water bottles it is then!


Later.........

Monday ~ the footache & witchcraft.... hee, hee

Oi........

My foot is killing me, swollen and all! This started around 4pm after the function we were busy with, I told some girl that standing next to me at the time and she suspects witchcraft!

Eish mara black people sometimes........ while on that she also adviced me which witchdoctor I must go to as he is highly recommended and heals you in one day! My word, I do not believe in that nonsense but newspapers like the Daily Sun are trying to convince me that it does infact exist.... I, however still believe that I am in pain coz I was doing something my legs are not used to...... running!

I......................

Honestly had something to bitch about..................


Then I got busy..............................................................


And forgot all about it............................

I......................

Honestly had something to bitch about..................


Then I got busy..............................................................


And forgot all about it............................

ChooozeDay! Drama - less action

Ok, so this week's interview has been postponed to sometime next week..... they wanna get me when I'm suffering from pms & dysmenorhiaoe(spelling??) isht! Thanx a lot



I've had six choc-chip muffins since the morning..... and had some for supper last night, mmmm - had those with hot custard, yummy!!!



I don't know what's happening to me, you'd swear I was eating for two.



I had a hectic one, on three calls all @ once... fax faulty, printer had some jam and cute pants I am wearing have a huge coffee stain on them - call me a cluts, I know!!!



Throat not so great today.... and I haven't had a smoke today, It's too early to clap hands but ya, and I am dying for one!

BF decided to "Propose" marriage to me...... about 2 minutes ago, ha, ha, ha - that nigga must be out of his mind, I only agreed that we can share a house (with a friend & his brother, remember) but I am so not ready for that isht...

The last time a dude was on that tip, he gave me a promise ring and went on telling male people not to speak to me as I was his "Wife" - Would ya believe that.... I need male people (who are friends to get drunk with). Anyhoo I had to leave that one soon as I suspected that he would start telling what to do to my hair and not to wear skirts with sneakers....... not possible, ever!

Can't believe uTumelo (BF aka HP) has gone all soft on me, falling in love and isht..... I still wanna be a girlfriend not a fiance/wife!!! Finish & Klaar!

Are ya'll having a good day!

See... this is why I wanna quit my job, here is another story about my boss person.

Article from this weekend's Sunday World (news paper)

Still no justice for Mafikizolo’s road manager

Saturday May 17, 2008 22:05 - (SA)

NORMAN MASUNGWINI

Flamboyant Mpumalanga music promoter Bruce Kgapane stands accused of assaulting Mafikizolo’s road manager last year – and this week he strong-armed the magistrate into postponing the case for a second time. on Wednesday the Ziyaphenduka Promotions boss appeared at the Pilgrim’s Rest Magistrates’ Court near Lydenburg, Mpumalanga, on charges of assault and pointing a firearm.


Kgapane is accused of assaulting Mafikizolo’s road manager Piwe Shabangu after the Afro-pop group failed to appear on time for a performance at a department of labour function in September last year. Mafikizolo was booked by Kgapane’s company to perform in Pilgrim’s Rest, but could not arrive on time because they were travelling from Durban, where they were performing at the Loerie Awards.


This week Kgapane and Shabangu and some members of Mafikizolo avoided each other in the court corridors on several occasions, but Kgapane put on a brave face after the appearance and shook hands with the group’s manager, Julius Mekwa. Kgapane asked the court to postpone the case because his attorney was not available.

He told magistrate A Serfontein he had not been aware that his attorney was sick. “I only learnt that he is not coming through the prosecutor right now,” said Kgapane. The prosecutor, Tobie Steny, told the magistrate Kgapane’s lawyer had phoned a few minutes before the case was called to tell him that he wouldn’t be in court because he was down with flu. But Steyn insisted on proceeding with the case.


He said the case had been postponed six months before trial and it shouldn’t be postponed again at the last minute. “The attorney should have called yesterday for me to contact the witnesses,” says Steyn. He also argued that the witnesses stay far away in Gauteng. Kgapane said it would be challenging for him to continue with the case without his attorney. “I request we postpone the case until my attorney is well,” Kgapane insisted.


Magistrate Serfontein finally agreed with him, saying everybody had the right to a legal representative. The case was postponed to next month for trial and Steyn said he was going to call seven witnesses.

**** and here is the story from my side....

Yes my boss slapped the girl (which was not cool @ all), but she was very rude and the way they handled the situation was not professional @ all....

They lied about most things (including the gun thing, the boss man does not even own one) and they breached the contract!!!

Since then we have not used any of the artists that are managed by Julias's company - Exclusive Management Services.....

Anyhooo, am crossing my fingers that my next interview goes well so I can stick the middle finger to my boss.... he, he!!!

Sat-Ur-Day.... @ Work - Not impressed at all!

Who would've thunk that I'd be sitting at the office, working on a flippin Saurday.........

This is so not on, basically my weekend has been ruined coz I'll be tired by the time I get home. I'm doing some physical labour here!!!


Maybe... Aloe for all (or something that reads similar)


Am now listening to my portable radio....

Hope everyone is having a fab one! Mine sucks....

See why I'm looking 4 another job???

Sex and office gossip...... Friday!

Seriously........

In a relationship, sometimes things do NOT happen as you'd want them to!

I'm upset....... 'coz the BF (@00H47) wanted to shag when I wanted to sleep, I was tired, really tired!

There are times when he would want to do it and I wouldn't but he, on the other hand is always ready for some.... So I ended up giving in as the man wouldn't leave my poor ass alone and he kept poking my behind with his dingaling when I told him to go back to sleep, I had faced the other direction.

So I woke up in a very funked up mood coz I had to be up @ 05H45 and he has the day off, how fair is that??? Huh?

Anyways.....

Seems like I (again) am some people's favourite topic, only this time it is the BF's colleagues. I was told that my name popped up about 7 times during an office gossip session during their hour lunch break......... Like WTF????

Yes people, it looks like I am that interesting!!!

The thought of being gossiped about by bank employees doesn't sit very well with me.... especially since they made it a point that I am invited to their next get together - for what reason? I don't know, guess I'll have to wait and see.

One of them had this to say: "She's so tall, more like a giant. You know that her weight is gon go crazy when she gets pregnant? you guys have almost similar hairstyles (she is so wrong about that).... wow.... how old is she? She looks nice though!"

And that I heard from the BF after they had a mini interrogation thing with him @ the HR office. Great!!!

Friday......

Have yourselves a great one!

Plots for free booze..... on a Thurshday!

This weekend I plan on gettin murtherly sloshed & having fun without popping out a cent.....



How will it be done, you ask............



The same way I did it when I was still a student @ Natal Tech.



I grab one hot chick friend that will buy me my first drink and wait for the lusty men to come do their macking shit on, I get to talking and the rest follows. One thing though, the BF must not be near me so I'll do the whole " Babe, I haven't chilled with friends in a long time & they feel neglected coz I'm always with you... so we gon' do the girls' nite out thing, see you later"

Or I just go hang out by the bar counter @ News and flirt with Santos and whatshisname..... Those boys sure know how to make a woman drunk, trying out and "tasting" different cocktails with out paying isht is nice! Gimme 9 of those and I'll have a permanent smile on my face!!! I don't mind being their guinea pig - as long as they keep them flowing!

The only condition is that the BF mustn't be around and I must never smile at the other guys offering to pay for whatever I'm drinking.

It's the 15th and my accounts is only happy month-end!!! I can't be wasting my own money on boozing and partying, not when there are so many "cash cows" out there......

I'm not one for that kind of lifestyle but isht times are tough and am saving for the big move to new place last weekend of May, I'll need to do a house warming phela!!!

He (BF) wants us to do a movie & drinks with his work buddies on Saturday..... oh hell no.....



His friends are not interesting at all, besides they like to think that I'm weird and call me names like Jah-Lady.... I am so not that!!!! I'm me, the beer drinking, ciggie smoking biatch that likes turning peoples' lives upside down for the fuck of it and I do crazy talk.



Back to work now....



Later



Ey - I saw a person getting mugged last night, it was like a movie.... like he rocked up a gun from nowhere and started shooting @ the muggers like crazy!!!

Drama.........

WednesDaY..... I R back!

So apparently I had or still have lirangitis....

Was horrible coz my phone rang endlessly and I had no choice but to answer it and speak even though the doctor said I mustn't.

My voice still sounds crazy but way better than how it was on Monday!

Nothing interesting happened to me so I have nothing to go on about!!!!

Later
***********""""""""""""""""***********"""""""""""""""****************

I have just seen my neighbour's miniature sausage dog running around with Megan's (the neighbour's daughter) pink panties in its mouth...... I know I'm not all that well yet but I laughed my ass off! The dog gets bored, really I just wish I knew how to speak woof language so I can hollar @ it.

Sometimes it tries to bite me or it starts barking for no reason!!!!

I am so sleepy, flu medicine is not a good plan when trying to work! I'll try mixing it with alcohol this coming weekend just see what it'll do to me, Errr... no wait,... let me not try it on me. I'll get an unknowing volunteer for that experiment.

Oh well that is it from Nelspruit side!

PS ~ thanx Sweets & AquiLoGy for the get well soon wishes.....

MonDaY - Would ya believe.....?

.......that my voice is gone, so I went to the doctor and was told to not speak for the next 24hours as it could result in a permanent loss of my voice!!!!

Oh My Fcukin Gawd!

I was given a sick note but guess what I am still at work as I have to do a few things before heading home!!! And coz I'm takin RSVP's for an upcoming event, my cell is a hotline by force!

To make isht worse is that the boss people think that I was out partying or something along those lines when in fact I was indoors the entire weekend!

Confession: I got stoned on Saturday and Sunday morning my voice was all crazy and shit.I'm not really sure but I think it might be responsible for the horror I'm goin through right now!

Am sure BF will be happy that I can't say a word for the whole day as we all know that I talk......... too damn much sometimes, I know I can be irritating but I can't help it!

So now am hoping to be done soon so I can go rest "my voice"!

Enjoy ya'lls week people, be back tomorrow!

FwidaY~ Have a gewd one!!!

I have been trying to post about something the whole morning and I simply can't find the right words so I'll say this instead....

Have ya'll selves a great weekend!

Oh, with the petrol prices goin' up = people will stop driving, with food prices escalating too = people will change their diets.............

But smokers.............. ha,ha,ha

Will always make a plan!

See :)~

ThurshDay ~

Morning, morning..........



About the job interviews ~ Yesterday's one sucked. Talk about an interview that lasted less than 4 minutes! It was a joke what they were offering me!!! So after they told me what they needed me for, the lady & I agreed that we were wasting each other's time.



So I am now waiting for my next interview on the 21st..... I'm lucky to be getting so many calls huh????

Anyhoo, hope the next one will give me enough $ to make me smile from ear to ear!

The lady from the agency says.... "Just be yourself Khensy, you are an amazing person with an amazing personality, I'm sure they will like you!" Huh... words of encouragement!!!

Ok, female boss is quite mean today! Don't know what's up with that.

Oooh, I'm going to Sdunkero's Party tonight @ News Cafe.... can't wait, free booze & Delicious eats.... gawd I'll miss this events industry so much when I quit! I have plans of going at it on my own, doing the whole "be your own boss" thing, I just need to stop acting like a part-time hippie!!!!

BF has big exam tomorrow.... and he hasn't been studying, I wonder but then again maybe he knows his shit and all I can say is good luck!!!

I had no internet the whole day yesterday........ Eish! It was tough I tell ya!

I have made a decision.... one that I'm not too sure was the best one for my relationship with HP! It makes sense when I think that I'll be saving money coz my rent is killing but I don't know!!! It feels like I'm signing my freedom away, I can never cheat on him now (as if i had plans to), He has been at my place for the last 3 weeks.... I've threatened to kill him about 4 times already.......... huhhhh (sigh)! Soon I'll have to meet the parents...........

Ok, I'm movin in with BF & his older Brotha & our weird midget-lookin like friend! Yup the 4 of us living under the same roof!

What do ya'll think????

TuesDaY ~ Off to find a new job!!!

Goood Morning People............

I have a job interview later this morning!!!!

I haven't done those in a while and the last time I did, some other girl got the job so ya, am nervous I'll fcuk it up or I'll blab too much, oh dear.........

Ok I need time to recollect myself!

Will update ya'll later!

(My current boss is not too happy but hey, they don't wanna increase my pay so I gots to bounce.....)

Oh and I have another interview tomorrow @ 14h00 as well.
****************"*******************"*********************"****************"

Alraighty then, I can say that it went well.... accept that the person interviewing me thought that I was better suited for another job and not the one they had called me in for! Poor Afrikaans speaking middle-aged woman thought that I was so nice and "oulik" - I need translation soon!.... Ok then I guess I have to wait for them to call me.

Can't wait for the one I'm having tomorrow..... I hope I get hired on the spot (depending on how much they are offering me of coz)!!!!

When I walked in, my boss asked me how it went and I told him fine but the smile on his face was too fake!!!!

Am in a very good mood, mostly coz they can now see how fcukin serious I am!!!

Ooh, my favourite song is on the radio...ha, ha!!!

Kwaki....... We are bidding for the Freshers Ball tender, he, he!!! I'll come to Venda if our company gets it ne!!!

And BF got a pay hike today!!! We are celebrating tonight!!!

I R Back - yes, yes ~ Monday

I have been gone for a very long time I see!

New month and hopefully I don't reach my cap too soon this time!!!

I'm happy to say that I haven't been heavily smashed in a while, even I have more beer than food in my fridge at the moment.... I haven't had more than 3 at a time!

I did a bit of partying, yes, yes!!!

It was nice being out again, though people looked rather shocked to see me shaking "it" on the side of the dance floor.... "They" said that I have been "out" 0f the "scene" for so long that they didn't bother sending me invites to do's.... So with fake smiles from ear to ear I said hi back to the people who looked surprised when I told them that no I was not pregnant or sick, I was just chillin!

Fcukin people can be so pretentious........

Some idiot @ MPower fm (based in Nelspruit) fell asleep while on air..... (old news, I know but worth the mention either way), though I kept praying that Sdunkero doesn't speak Engling during interviews and the acceptance speech @ the SAMAs, the man did and all I can say is = Shwashwi will have a field day dissing another person from Nelspruit. I just don't understand why certain people do NOT want to understand that they do not speak the language quite as well as they probably would like to!!!!

Moving on.........

Holly NIgga = I believe you have my number, hollar then!!!

B = Ai shem sussie, I didn't know you had plans of coming to my side of the country. I lot has happened to you in this short space of time hey....

Kwaki = You shameless, lonely dog of satan!

Sweets = Thank for passing in the msg and greeting!!!

Ms. Daisy = Thank for inviting me to your B'day party!

Everybody else...................

Hi, hi

Ooh, BF bought me a gorgeous bag, I like, I like... for a broke man he sure has good taste!

And after a long time of saying that I must lose weight...... he comes to me with some story that he loves me just the way I am - man please, I know he's only saying that coz he can see I'm gin look like a bombshell summer bunny when I shed all those extra kilos!!!

Again - It is so good to be connected again!

Monday ~ About the WeekenD

I did absolutely nothing this weekend, I did the spring cleaning thing and I felt really good about it afterwards. I even changed the bed's position and stuff, yeah... that was cool!

On Friday... my day was pwetty much fcuked up I guess, was tired and hungry 'coz I never got time to sit and have breakfast or lunch so basically the only meal I had on Friday was supper ( that was not fully cooked coz I was just in a hurry to chow) and the thing about it is that I only felt like having something I made myself ( I'm quite the cook at times) so takeaways just wouldn't have done!

Went to deliver an invite for the Holy Nigga, quite an office they have there.... the life on Journos!

Considered the possibility of me doing a shwashi/gossip like mag for Mpumalanga people, I mean we do have our own "celebs" around here and the entertainment scene is picking up (slowly but surely) so ya, I think it is about time.... or Ziwaphi could just employ me to do my version of the Bitch's Brew and the Agony Aunt thingy - they don't have it, yet!!!

I did NOT drink this weekend! I'm still trying to understand why........

Oh, and chick friend pissed the isht outta me on Saturday so I guess I won't be calling her ass again!

**** Imagine, you are in deep sleep with BF next to you and ex shag-mate (that you haven't shagged for months before you even met current BF) calls around 2a.m asking what you are doing, you tell him that you are sleeping and your BF is next to you! He rants and decides to come to your place anyways and knocks for about 20minutes, despite you ignoring him ( and hoping he goes away) about 10 minutes later you decide to go tell him where to get the fcuk off.... then he says you are the who said he must come over and some shit like that, blah, blah while BF (who knows that you have some history with the other guy) is listening to the conversation. Eventually he leaves and when you jump back in bed BF is so angry at you, he doesn't even want to talk/touch or look at you! Comes morning and then the confrontation takes place and it doesn't matter what you say.... it just doesn't convince BF that you are not cheating on his ass!

Ya ne!!!

With that I'd like to say to ex shag-mate..... thank you for fcuking isht up for me, I hope you get hit by a bus one day! Eat shit, drink piss and hang yourself!!!

Friday ~ finally

Had to work late yesterday - again!

And will be on the road for the rest of today!

Heard that there's a "Mini skirt & Cleavage" Party going on tomorrow, the thought of myself in a mini skirt is just funny, I haven't worn those in a long, long time!

This weekend, I just want to rest.... I feel tired for some reason I don't know and I need to do the whole spring-cleaning thing on Saturday - isn't it autumn or some season now???!

Happy Weekend People!

Thurshhhday - Blah

I just got my ass electrocuted by our electric fence thing..... Was talking to neighbour and asked him to pass me matches and I touched the damn thing. I wanted to cry, then I remembered that I don't look pwetty when I cry!

Funny thing that happened yesterday as I was driving around delivering invites, the car I was using kept switching off at almost every robot I stopped at! I laughed at myself really, it was so obvious that it was driving a borrowed car...

I just have to mention again that government employees are some of the laziest employees I have met. They just sit there, chatting to their friends on the phone, Typing their Unisa Assignments and still get paid every month... they seriously piss me off, coz when I try calling there - the phone is constantly engaged and when I do eventually get through, they redirect your call and make you hold for a long time. Some are at the mall during working hours and still have a 2hour lunch break, at 15h30 they are already making way home and they are meant to knock off at 16h20!!!

Yesterday I struggled to get anything done, I was at those offices for more than an hour!!!

Ok, still working.......

Later

**PS** When I say Government employees, I mean the ones that work for the Mpumalanga Provincial Government @ the Riverside GVT Boulevard, unless they are like that everywhere!

Working late & fast food for supper! ~ Wednesday

I knocked off work @ 9.30pm or so last night..... that was not nice, missed a dinner thing with a friend coz of it! I was really looking forward to have good wine with some good seafood but I had to do a KFC burger instead.

Fell asleep while trying to eat and watch Cheaters at the same time, then it hit me again - living alone can sure suck at times. If I had BF staying with me, I would've had supper and a good shag waiting for me when I got home! LoL, plus it was a bit chilly at night, I warmed up my bed with a hot-water bottle... yes, I still use those! Electric blankets are strange for me, I'm old-school.

So, I'm still gon' be busy with calling & sending invites to people for an upcoming awards function for some Export something something.

HP says he hates it that I talk about our isht with "strangers"....... as if they know who he is!!! Ya right...

I watched ( for the 11th time) Two can play that game (starring Vivica A. Fox and Morris Chestnut) on Saturday with HP and there is a line there that says that the first sign that shows that your man is cheating is when he calls and says "I have to work late" or "I was working late" whatever.....

Well, I'll be working late most days till this event is through and I sure as hell hope HP doesn't thinks that something freaky is goin on.

And now I'm having Oreos for breakfast - great!

Later people

Him, the weekend and us!

I'm getting bored if my "perfect" relationship..........

I'm getting more sick of people saying things like "oh gosh, you guys look so beautiful together", "I love how you guys get along", "Khensani, do NOT fuck this one up, you won't get another man to love you like this!".... Aaaaah, wish they would stop coz now it's like too many people are on the look out for every isht that me & HP get up to!

I tried pissing him off on Friday by going somewhere and getting smashed in company of other men then called him @ around 4:30am and demanded sex.... ha, ha, ha and guess what, he was all so calm. On some "If you are gon' go out somewhere on a drinking spree shit, atleast tell me where you are. I won't stop you from doing your shit, I met you drunk anyways so ya, did you have fun?" Like fokitt already for being sweet and shit!

I lurvz him and all but I'm getting bored coz everything is just so perfect... not that I want him to cheat on my ass but some drama would be night, maybe it'll make me appreciate havin him more - is that as insane as my brother thinks it is???

I was hungover for 2 days......

Free booze is it man, I hardly get that smashed when I'm paying for the booze!!!

Anyhooo.... I'm swamped with work so haven't had time to do any other isht.

Oh and I met a prostitute..... Oh my gosh...... is all I have to say!

ThursDay..... I want money, money, money!

Ha......



Today is the day I reevaluate what I really want in life!



(On way to work, I saw one of my ex's cruising past in the new Land Rover Freelander, this is a person who really struggled to pass matric and I love that car! I can say that he is not the most wisest of people)



I know jealousy makes one nasty but fuck it man I need to be making money asap!!!



Ok, here's what I realised this morning..... the S.A economy is trying to take out the middle-class person, right now it's like you are either making a lot of money or you are making enough just to pay your rent/bond, car, food and other necessities. Luxuries like going out 3 times a week and ordering expensive lobster (yum) do not fit in your budget @ all - that is where I am right now... soon people like me will be classified as poor! I tell ya, there'll be just two kinds if standards - Rich and Poor! You have an 8am - 4pm office job but you'll be ranked on the same level with domestic workers!!!

Have ya'll ever notice how much you spend on drinks @ say News cafe when you're out with friends????? Those pinkish-colourful cocktail, martinis and whiskeys are blurdy expensive!

That will be the reason I stock up on wine and beer @ the bottle store and chill @ my place with friends. I even opt to cook something or braai instead of going out to some restaurant and spending about R 800 - R 1000 on food and drinks! I can spend half that amount, make a mean salad, braai meat, cream-corn pap & chakalaka and still have fun, listening to my choice of music!

This is life in S.A people.... I often complain of how broke I am and isht, but I saw a family that has to survive on R300 a month - that is no joke!!!!

Ok basically this was about me finding new ways of making extra money on the side....... and in case one of ya'll wanted to give advice on how, please scratch being a hooker out of the list!

WednesDay ~ BF has Flu

BF can be a shameless idiot sometimes....

So he has the flu, when I called him yesterday he was speaking in this tiny voice and as if he is slowly seeing the white light at the end of the tunnel... When I asked him what him being sick had anything to do with me, he begged that I go past his place on my way home!

When I got there the man was in pyjamas and thick socks.... it was drizzling a bit but trust me it wasn't cold @ all. So I get there and am like - "ya, so for what did you want me to come here for?"

Turns out that he wanted me to make him supper... him together with his brother (they live together)! These men don't cook, I went with then to do their grocery shopping a week ago and they have never cooked since. If it is not take aways, it's a quick sandwich. Now the only time he eats a home cooked meal is when he visits me....... Great now I'm their cooking-lady!

Would you believe what a tiny flu does to a man.... they act like kids when their are sick!

One mistake though was when he mentioned that he thinks we should move in together so I could look after him..................... WHAT????

Never!!!

Ok not never but not anytime soon, not this year.... "we' are still new - like 4 months old. Plus he has these little badish habits that make me cringe at times, imagine me having to "get used" to those, oh hell no! When he comes over for a weekend I have to tell him to pick this up, don't do that, rinse the glass before and after you use it, he is just messy..... Grrrr!!!! And he does piss me off half the time but I lurvs him to bits!!!!

So today again after work I have to go past his place - he asked if I could bring him that M&B Oriental Burger & fruit!!! Shame.... last week I made him wake up & race across town get me some Mybulen & Norflex so I'll be nice to him!!!!

Tuesday ~

It has been about 2 to 3 years since I last put a comb or brush in my hair...... and my hair is about 27cm right about know!

I was caught in some drama between the Abuja and Lagos Naija cartels.... he, he (I like the sound of that), no seriously now - these guys are from Nigeria and they all deal in drugs and isht like that and they are making a killing out of these teenagers and "celebs" that do coke and so on! One even drives a Lamborghini, the other an Astin Martin... oh and they own "shops"... the ones that sell Louis Vitton & Gucci for about R100.... Yup, R100!

These guys drink and eat expensive.

Funny thing is that men from countries like Nigeria are convinced that South African women are cheap and easy, all they have to do is flash a bit of money and they hit a home run!!!! That actually pissed me off - ya I know they are women like that but they mustn't generalise, upon meeting them I saw that they had the same impression about me! Shooo, as I was telling them off... I almost threw a glass of whiskey at the other huge guy ( cannot remember his name)... and then I remembered that one mustn't waste good alcohol.

Truth be told though, what some other skanky women do sets a bad example of South African women. I, for one am not cheap and I am so not a gold-digger. If I were I'd be dating a guy who atleast has a job that pays him a 6 digit figure, and with that paying my rent, groceries and clothing!!!!

On Saturday I saw a good example of a gold-digger but I was too smashed to say anything that made sense but I do remember saying this to her "S'febe uzobhejiwa wena, lo unepipi elikhulu.. phela owase Naija". Translation... "Biatch, Ur ass is gon get shagged buy a big ass dick coz the dude is from Naija"... and she did! Her pine-tree hairstyle was flattened after that!

New Week - Monday ~

My butt is sore... I suspect that I might taken a tumble somewhere somehow! I wish not to talk about Saturday night! Apparently I had a few moemish moments!!!

I remember seeing people dancing in slow motion and reverse... and walking a distance of about a kilometer, they say I was yelling out that I wanted to go home! Then HP & brother came fetch me! He says I woke him up at about 3.30a.m and I was crying 'coz I drank too much.

I felt very strange when I woke up @ my place.... Maybe someone spiked my drink, I swear! I hardly remember anything! Oh and they said I was bitch-slapping some girl - reason = still unknown!!!! I must have been pissed off, I think!!!!!

Am busy with a crossword puzzle right now.... about 4 word then I'll be done!!!

Ya neh!

Happy Monday :-)

Thursday ~

And then there was light.....

Load shedding since 08H00 till about 5 minutes ago! That sucked, if only it waited till an hour before knock-off time!

Now my day begins!

On a serious note though, are you guys not worried about Zim? I know I've asked this before but ya I think S.A will be affected by whatever that happens in Mugabeland..... Most people from Zim are having it hard in S.A but they say that being here here is better than being in their own country! Shame!!!

Now....

Here is something else:


History Mystery

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F.
Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker... A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh?

Wedneday ~ @ work

I'm blank..........

Busy with a proposal for some official opening of the new Nelspruit 2010 Offices, they want us to come up with a theme - duh, there can only be one theme.... the 2010 Soccer World cup shit???

So now I am trying to put that in a nice proff-like way... ey, I don't do decor - we get someone to do it and that person's phone is off!!!

Me & boss person are trying to see our way out of this and all my ideas are being turned down - not sure if it because I am in lazy mode or that she simply doesn't like them!!! But she makes me think dull anyways coz "they" wanna be the ones who shine brighter than the weird looking girl they send everywhere else!

Ok, sounds like the best time to start looking for another job as this one sucks big time! I love it but the bosses make it the worst job to have and I am done trying to be "employee of the year"... so no more sucking up!

I'll quit before they decide to fire me!!! Hee, hee

Then put pee in the petrol tanks!

Ey I almost died yesterday.... 4 real, I was driving a car that had brake problem or the were not there at all! I don't know how I always manage to save my ass, but I did.... when I got back to the office I slammed the car door and chucked the keys in a not do nice way, almost broke something!!!!

I had almost lost my life! I think what traumatised me the most was the fact that I was gon' die sober, Imagine that!

Ok, back to work now......

If I had to translate this into English... It just wouldn't sound the same! Sorry!!!

PHEZU KWABO!!!!


Madoda musani ukudlala ngabantu besimame nize nivuke ekuseni nizelule sengathi lukhulu enilwenzile kanti lutho. Okokuqala nje musani ukuchatha ngeSunlight Soap. Uma uyindoda chatha ngembiza yokushubisa imizwa. Uma ungenayo noma ungazi ukuthi uzoyitholaphi buza kwabaziyo. Nakhu ke okumele ukwenze uma uyindoda efuna ukuthandwa ngempela ngothandiwe wakho.

1. Mbuze ukuthi ufuna umbhebhe ngakuphi umbuze futhi ukuthi ufuna ufende usheshise yini noma cha.

2. Mbuze ukuthi uyakujabulela yini uma ugudlisa ikhinqi emalebeni, ukuxoxa kwenza ungasheshi uchithe.


3. Mtshele angabi nahloni ayisho into uma ingamphathi kahle, njengokuthundela emlonyeni.


4. Mthintathinte kamnandi esithweni sakhe sangasese uze ukhothe ubhontshisi ngolwimi, uwuncelisise aze achame noma kathathu.

Akunankinga ngiyazi ukuthi uzobe esekujaha ukuthi nibhebhane, muzibe sengathi awumuboni.


5. Noma usungamyeka manje ukumncela, muncele ibele esinye isandla asimnwaye inkomo slowly ungabi idlabha (Don’t be rough) because that area is very sensitive.


6. Yaneliseka ukuthi useqhanyelwe ngokwanele, uyakwazi ukumbona.


7. Thathake umthondo uwugudlise phezu kabhontshisi aze aphefumulele Phezulu. Bhasobha ungawufaki wonke umthondo phakathi ngoba uzohluleka ukuzibamba uvele uchame. Take your time, ufake kahle phakathi uwukhiphe futhi kahle slowly. Otherwise uma usheshisa Ngeke umuzwe kahle ukuthi umnandi noma cha.


8. Uwufake phakathi ufende kahlanu noma ngaphezulu kancane. Ungatatazeli.


9. Mufende kahle ungasheshi futhi ungabi too slow, Don’t forget to tell her uma uzwa ukuthi ungahle udubule, uma engakathandi ukuthi uchame, ukhiphe umthondo ushaywe umoya, uphinde uwubuyisele.


10. Kubalulekile futhi ukwazi ukuthi uthanda ukufendwa asheshiwe noma cha, ngoba kungenzeka ulingisa inkukhu nje wehlulwa yigolo, ulokhu uzincoma uthi uyakwazi kanti uyinhlabathi nje.


11. Qiniseka ukuthi uyachama before nawe uchame. Umenza konke lokhu nje uyamthintathinta ezingonweni zamabele, umkhothe nase mqaleni. Musa ukumenza ilovebite. Yiba yindoda ezwanayo nama blue movies “Sex Vidoes”


12. UNGALINGE UKHOHLWE UKUCELA UMUDLA NGEMUVA. PHELA ILA UBUMNANDI BUKHONA FUTHI NAYE UYATHANDA UKUDLIWA NGEMUVA.


13. Qiniseka ukuthi uyamuzwa uma echama ngoba kuyingozi ukumshiya engachamile, phela uketshezi luyashisa uma lungaphumanga lonke, ungabona esekufebela kanti nguwe ovule amathuba.


14. Ungesabi ukumphenya inkomo yakhe, uyibukisise uze uyidlalise ngeminwe yakho, phela abantu besilisa ayesaba ukuyivula kuze kube ngcono amadoda.


15. Make sure that umdlalisa ngokwanele ngaphambi kokuba ufake uhalakasha lwakho lolu ukuze asheshe achame, mnike umthondo adlale ngawo, ube yi toys lakhe.


16. Akongiwa umfazi, uma ungamudli namuhla umbekele bani, inkomo ngeyokuhlatshwa noma engafuni, mbhebhe ngendlela yokuthi angakuqhathanisi namuntu.


17. Musa ukuba nesikhathi sokubhebha umkakho, ungalindi kuze kuyolalwa, noma umfica ekhishini khwela phezu kwakhe.


18. Kumele ngabe uyamazi ukuthi yini ayithandayo, menze leyonto ayithandayo, this is sex ingeyenu nobabili.


19. Livule lonke igolo lomkakho, (kodwa abanye banamahloni) faka ulimi lwakho embotsheni, uncele umsunu, amalebe ngiqinisile ngithi kuwe, noma ecabanga ubufebe akasoze ngoba nguwe wedwa omudla ngaleyondlela.


20. Uma kwenzeke iphutha uNoxolo wacela ukuthi umbhebhe, yenza njalo, bese uthi ungena nje kumkakho ube umbingelela ngawo, kuyokuthatha isikhathi eside ukuthi ungathundi ngoba kade uqeda kuthunda kuNoxolo.


UMA UWALALELE LAMAZWI UYOBA INDODA EMADODENI. NGEKE FUTHI ABATSHELE ABANGANI BAKHE UKUTHI UYANELE NOMA CHA YINI OCANSINI NGOBA LOKHO KOMDALELA INKINGA ABANGANI BAKHE SEBEFUNA UKUZWA NABO LENTO OYIZWAYO. WENA OWESABA UKUKHOTHA UMKAKHO AWUKAQALI UKUMBHEBHA, BAZOKUBHEBHELA YENA.


And there it is, the black men have spoken!!!


***If someone feels they want to try and translate this into English.... do try***

On a Poetic Tip!!!

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.

I say, It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.

I say, It's the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

PS: No worries, I stole this poem & I aint ashamed to even say it........ But it sure is a nice one!!!

Nice enough to make make the "exotic lookinglike- women" feel good about themselves! (I do mean that in the most nicest way as I sometimes fall under the same category - ya right!)

Go Maya.....

TuesDay ~

I can't believe it's friggin April fool's and I have had a good laugh yet!

And I haven't sent any of my stupidtext messages to anyone yet! I need some inspiration. Ooh, I was so shocked to learn that BF @ age 25 doesn't have a driver's license..... or a learner's - my gosh at this day and age!!!!

The whole skate-cooper thing was cute and havin his brother chauffeuring us around was nice, but the brother can't drive! Can you believeIt? Seriously now!!!


So yesterday he tells moi that he went to by that stupid K53 book so he can get his learners..... told him that is the most dumbest thing ever coz everyone knows that the book doesn't help much!

Oh but... see what happens when a person chills with people who do Lokshin Management & have no future plans whatsoever??? They drag you down with them! They don't wanna go to school, they "can't" get a job coz of o'ngamla mana cheese-boy get all the good jobs, Like duh! What do the expect when they don't even have a matric certificate??? So BF made good decision to quit that life, move to Nelspruit, find a job, fall in lurv with Khensani and then do the rest of the things he has been wanting to do, one at a time!!!!!