Found myself listening to ama-slow jam while trying to figure out what I was feeling @ that time...
I took a look in the mirror and saw what hadn't been there for a long time, my eyes had lit up. I skipped to the next track... and was like shit, Eryka Badu doing my favourite song " I'm in love with you", it seemed to be the perfect description of how my heart was feeling.
It was after a very long day, closing my eyes and letting my body and mind rest was the only good thing I could do for myself.
As I started drifting to la-la land I stopped halfway there and reminded myself to dream about him, it was what he had asked me to do when he turned to walk away. He had occupied my mind more often than not in that one day, even with his cheesy pick up lines.... still I was impressed by him.
I had only met his 5 hour earlier that day, already I was seeing myself sharing life with him for years to come. In my dream I had images of him in different scenarios - he was perfect in every sense. I had convinced myself a long time ago that I'm one who believed not in love at first sight, he made me smile, I liked him.
Unsure if I should, I waited in vain for his call - he said he would! Days later, word around campus was he had finally met the woman he'd love with all of him. She was all he spoke about to his friends and that woman was me.
A letter he wrote said he had found his happiness but he couldn't give her the love she needed and that he couldn't live life as he would like to so he cut himself just to see his blood gush out of his body, stopping his heart from beating. He said that his blood was keeping him away from his happiness.
He never gave himself a chance and I, I, I........How would life be with him? I loved him and he died before I could let him know and the last I could say to him as we viewed the lifeless body was it could've been..... R.I.P
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