This weekend, I got to thinking after looking at the people that around me and the people that I already know and a few thinks came to me.....
- A man's relationship with the woman he loves most can actually be determined by what he puts out during sex.... If you're whack - your ass is kicked to the curb and if you're good you'll get to keep her by your side a bit longer, just as long as you keep up the good work (giving her multiple orgasms at least 4 times a week).
- Men are sometimes expected to make miracles every time the girlfriend needs something, i.e: You have to stop watching the Kaiser Chiefs v/s Pirates game and your friends so and take your girlfriend to the salon to do her hair, that you have to pay for and when she comes out of the salon looking like a peacock, you are forced to smile and comment when she asks you "Baby, do you love my new hairstyle?", F*ck, you just paid R200 for something that will scare you every time you see its shadow at night.
- Then you get a please call me from this chick you've been trying to get for the past 5 months, you call her and she gives you the " Hi, I just wanted to hear your voice, where are you and what are you doing tonight?", so you drive for about 30km to go see her ( in your mind you've already pictured that you'll take her out and spend time with her) eish and when you get there she's with her 3 Friends that annoy you to hell and back and they all want to tag along to wherever you are taking her or else she can't go with you alone. So you finally agree for them to come with (and at that moment, all your boys are busy having fun without you) as you drive pass one of the friends gives your potential girlfriend a sign that they want you to buy them Smirnoff Storms (mind you these chicks drink like fish), so you take out R100 and get them what they want hoping that it will get them to shut the f*ck up. when you get to town the one sitting behind you asks that you change you Skwatta Kamp cd and put Dj Fresh 'coz they don't understand hip-hop, they just want to dance. When you get to town, the one sitting in the middle quietly hints that she is a hungry and wants Nando's, again you take out R100 to buy a full chicken,chips and rolls... they start eating in your clean car and hold your seats and windows with their greasy hands, finally you decide to take them to your friends birthday party, when they get there they start causing trouble with the other girls they found at the party ne after your friend tells them to fuck off coz they slapped his girlfriend you take them back to your place, while the friends are flipping through the channels of you DSTV you ask the potential girlfriend to come chill with you in the other room.... now after all the shit you had to put up with just for the to give you the answer you have been waiting for, for so long, she tells you the following: "Haai, you know I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years and I'm just hurt and confused, especially since I found out yesterday that he also slept with my 4 cousins so nje I don't think I'm ready for another boyfriend but we can still be friends. You - try to console her buy giving her a hug saying that it's ok, you'll give her all the time she needs to heal and as you try to sneak a kiss in there, she tells that she's on her periods (now you know 4sho that you aint getting any)... 4 days later one of your friend tells you they saw the same chick again at the club and fucked that same night, Aag shame all that trauma for nothing, don't you just hate the b*tch?
- Then some men are expected to never be broke, just because you drive the new Audi A4, live in Hill Side Manor and work at the MP government complex, women will think you are Tito Mboweni - not taking to mind that you have to pay R 4 500 for the car, R 5 000, for the flat, R 1000 for a bachelors grocery, R 2000 to stock up the fridge with booze every weekend, R 3000 for you family in the rural area, shoooo so many expenses and then your girlfriend still expects you to pay for her R 300 manicure, R 200 pedicure, R 300 weave, R 1 500 truworths account, R 800 petrol for a month and still take her out every second day coz she's lazy to cook.
- And finally, most women simply think that men don't know what love is and that they don't feel any emotions - that not on right? I think out there, some men actually do hurt as much as women do when they are dumped or have been cheated on or what ever the case may be but bottom line is they are human as well and they do cry (sometimes, even though some may hide it), so ladies.... give your men a break at least once and be nice to them, pamper them, show them love and make them feel special, that way they can't really complain when you blow they're monthly salary in one week.
1 comment:
People have birthdays and we only get to read about them in Kwali's blog, what's up? I been reiterating the need for people with good love advise to become Agony Aunts and Uncles and to become Dr Phils and Ricki Lakes. Your take on love is, to borrow a word from the Hebrew 'kosher' without being edible. i often wonder how many men have been through this shit. Worse, when her heart is broken she tells you all about the bad things x-b'friend has been up to and the poor buy being the gullible son-of-a-woman even adds that he's even seen him smoking weed with some hard-headed screwfs who hang at the corner and even adds that he's seen him doing something in the back seat of his car when he was mof from a Swazi and the next thing poor good boy sees them together and pretends not to because they are laughing over some huge Mega choc and he wonders if the woman, in the heat of a good shag will tell her man what he's said 72 hours ago when they had broken up and he thinks the son-of-a-bitch has a revolver and reads DAILY SUN and aspires to be on the front page with a slug in his dome after putting two more slugs in the domes of his woman and confidante. Life is a vacumn cleaner girl, it suckkkkkkkkssssss
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