For all those who have ever watched channel 102 (African Magic), they have like a thousand movies from west/east Africa ne and most of them are too predictable, they have more or less the same story line but what chuckles me the most is the fact that they love "the getting married" stunt, the witchcraft, the 100 000 naira shopping sprees, the prince that went to study abroad & has to come back to the "village" a pick a wife not to mention that they have like a million "chiefs" there and finally the dress code!!!
Personally, I like watching those movies at least once a day and I have my favourite actors already. Sometimes I can't even hear what they are sayin and they are long, yo!
Well, when I was in Durban I met a lot of people from Nigeria, Congo and Senegal and for some reason most people thought that I was also from that part of the continent (most probably coz I'm tall, dark and big-boned) and in my short time chilling with guys from Naija, they - one by one, asked me to marry them obviously I refused but I was bugged by their eagerness to tie the knot, I mean this other guy had only met me 3 days before he confessed his love for me and asked me to wed him - weird! Got nothing against them but they did manage to scare me away.
Only when I started watching these movies, I understood that getting married for them is like a hobby of some sort.
But more seriously I argued a statement that was made by one friend of mine who happens to be from Naija as well - he said that South African women are money hungry whores that will shag anyone that has a few hundred rands to throw around, now when we first met he was on some tip of "Baby, I'll buy you anything you want", "I'll buy you a Motorola, a nokia, a samsung - anything you want", I said no thanx then a week later - " Baby, I want to make you CEO of my shop" I laughed and the brotha thought that it was a yes so 2 days later I received a call from a woman who said that I was her daughter-in-law (with the accent) and she couldn't wait for me to come visit Lagos so I could meet the rest of the family - and that now there were five Mrs Ozwoko's in her family now that her fifth son has finally taken a wife........ like what the froooooty was that! I've received weird phone calls in my life but that was by far the worst!!! So after talking to the woman I decided to catch the bus to Point Road in Durban where the brotha had a clothing shop and politely asked to have a word with him, I was so pissed off that my armpits were sweaty. So when we stepped into his dodgy office with a funky odour going in there I said " listen my friend, you have overstepped your boundaries, therefore I beg to to delete my number from your phone, never call me again, when you see me on the street or anywhere else don't say hi and tell your mother to never dial my number again and tell her that I'm not her daughter-in-law, never will be and have a nice day - bye"... The man just stood there sayin "oh but baby, what's wrong baby, you don't want me no more baby, okay how much do you want baby?" Now that was the last straw, if he wasn't that huge I swear I would've slapped him but I was chicken to do that so I decided to bounce outta there and go to the nearest bar to calm down, after a few green bottles I felt better!!!!
Some other people nje!!!!!!!
In case you are wondering, the guy tried to stalk me for a while and tried bribing me with a few gifts but I did not budge but my friends enjoyed every second of it and just as I was about to get a restraining order against him, he got arrested for selling illegal merchandise as well as drugs. Wow!
1 comment:
Hey, don't ever mention Point in your entries. I get told by people who have slept at the Beach Hotel that Point is such a fucked up crime hub. And who knows, maybe one of these days you'd have been chilling with the brother from another mother and the mounted unit comes through and viola! you're deported to the Niger Delta and now have to marry a brother.
Anyway, nice (for lack of a better word) story. I find it funny cuz I was there recently and wanted to buy some poison at around 00h26 and was warned by someone that those looneys who sip til Mlaba comes knocking are real screw-ups.
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