Life

So it happens that things are just not working out for you, you wake up every morning to go to work but you don't really see yourself getting anywhere as far as life is concerned. People around you just think that you are either crazy or you just don't know what you want from life when you try to tell them how unhappy you really are!!!!

Yep, I have just had one of those days when I felt like isht. Really, so this one person looks at me.... they can see that I'm crying but I still have what looks like smile on my face! So this person says that they don't know if they should think I'm sad or happy coz they can't figure me out?!? What?

To add to my misery.... I get an e-mail from an ex saying that he heard that I drink as if there is no tomorrow! And apparently my poison is Black Label?

Ok so this was funny for me - Reason = People who know me would know that I used to drink Amstel, but lately have switched to Sarita ( fad)! Secondly: I don't go out as much as "they" say I do. Thirdly: I've been broke lately, meaning that I haven't even buying booze for myself. Lastly: Who are they to say isht about me coz they have no clue who I really am. I have kept the same friends since last year, those would be the friends that I chill with often and they would know of the times I've drunk coz I'd be there with them. So really........ I still don't understand that out of the hundreds of females (that could be interesting) in Nelspruit.... why must the focus be on me - Is it that much attention that I draw to myself??? Coz I don't try much hey!

About why I'm miserable: I'd love to do certain things in my life.... things that I really enjoy doing and all the other isht that makes me Khensani you know but the thing is, it is almost like I am not allowed to, coz its not a good career choice or it is a weird hobby that an average person would see as stupid, useless and what, what!!!

Ya, ya....... its crazy like that but I had to have a breakdown sooner or later - with the isht that people manage to throw my way at every given chance?!? I could say that what people say about me doesn't bother me - but the fact is that other people wouldn't see it the way I see things therefore, one scandalous deed with actually turn into a lot, keeping in mind that some people do see imaginary things - thereafter create a story to pass on to others!

I'm slowly getting tired of all this shit..... and I'm starting to hate this place as well. Why can't people let me be! I hear a different story about me almost every week about what I did during the weekend in Nelspruit even if I was in Durbs for that very same weekend.