Thursday ~

And then there was light.....

Load shedding since 08H00 till about 5 minutes ago! That sucked, if only it waited till an hour before knock-off time!

Now my day begins!

On a serious note though, are you guys not worried about Zim? I know I've asked this before but ya I think S.A will be affected by whatever that happens in Mugabeland..... Most people from Zim are having it hard in S.A but they say that being here here is better than being in their own country! Shame!!!

Now....

Here is something else:


History Mystery

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F.
Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker... A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh?

Wedneday ~ @ work

I'm blank..........

Busy with a proposal for some official opening of the new Nelspruit 2010 Offices, they want us to come up with a theme - duh, there can only be one theme.... the 2010 Soccer World cup shit???

So now I am trying to put that in a nice proff-like way... ey, I don't do decor - we get someone to do it and that person's phone is off!!!

Me & boss person are trying to see our way out of this and all my ideas are being turned down - not sure if it because I am in lazy mode or that she simply doesn't like them!!! But she makes me think dull anyways coz "they" wanna be the ones who shine brighter than the weird looking girl they send everywhere else!

Ok, sounds like the best time to start looking for another job as this one sucks big time! I love it but the bosses make it the worst job to have and I am done trying to be "employee of the year"... so no more sucking up!

I'll quit before they decide to fire me!!! Hee, hee

Then put pee in the petrol tanks!

Ey I almost died yesterday.... 4 real, I was driving a car that had brake problem or the were not there at all! I don't know how I always manage to save my ass, but I did.... when I got back to the office I slammed the car door and chucked the keys in a not do nice way, almost broke something!!!!

I had almost lost my life! I think what traumatised me the most was the fact that I was gon' die sober, Imagine that!

Ok, back to work now......

If I had to translate this into English... It just wouldn't sound the same! Sorry!!!

PHEZU KWABO!!!!


Madoda musani ukudlala ngabantu besimame nize nivuke ekuseni nizelule sengathi lukhulu enilwenzile kanti lutho. Okokuqala nje musani ukuchatha ngeSunlight Soap. Uma uyindoda chatha ngembiza yokushubisa imizwa. Uma ungenayo noma ungazi ukuthi uzoyitholaphi buza kwabaziyo. Nakhu ke okumele ukwenze uma uyindoda efuna ukuthandwa ngempela ngothandiwe wakho.

1. Mbuze ukuthi ufuna umbhebhe ngakuphi umbuze futhi ukuthi ufuna ufende usheshise yini noma cha.

2. Mbuze ukuthi uyakujabulela yini uma ugudlisa ikhinqi emalebeni, ukuxoxa kwenza ungasheshi uchithe.


3. Mtshele angabi nahloni ayisho into uma ingamphathi kahle, njengokuthundela emlonyeni.


4. Mthintathinte kamnandi esithweni sakhe sangasese uze ukhothe ubhontshisi ngolwimi, uwuncelisise aze achame noma kathathu.

Akunankinga ngiyazi ukuthi uzobe esekujaha ukuthi nibhebhane, muzibe sengathi awumuboni.


5. Noma usungamyeka manje ukumncela, muncele ibele esinye isandla asimnwaye inkomo slowly ungabi idlabha (Don’t be rough) because that area is very sensitive.


6. Yaneliseka ukuthi useqhanyelwe ngokwanele, uyakwazi ukumbona.


7. Thathake umthondo uwugudlise phezu kabhontshisi aze aphefumulele Phezulu. Bhasobha ungawufaki wonke umthondo phakathi ngoba uzohluleka ukuzibamba uvele uchame. Take your time, ufake kahle phakathi uwukhiphe futhi kahle slowly. Otherwise uma usheshisa Ngeke umuzwe kahle ukuthi umnandi noma cha.


8. Uwufake phakathi ufende kahlanu noma ngaphezulu kancane. Ungatatazeli.


9. Mufende kahle ungasheshi futhi ungabi too slow, Don’t forget to tell her uma uzwa ukuthi ungahle udubule, uma engakathandi ukuthi uchame, ukhiphe umthondo ushaywe umoya, uphinde uwubuyisele.


10. Kubalulekile futhi ukwazi ukuthi uthanda ukufendwa asheshiwe noma cha, ngoba kungenzeka ulingisa inkukhu nje wehlulwa yigolo, ulokhu uzincoma uthi uyakwazi kanti uyinhlabathi nje.


11. Qiniseka ukuthi uyachama before nawe uchame. Umenza konke lokhu nje uyamthintathinta ezingonweni zamabele, umkhothe nase mqaleni. Musa ukumenza ilovebite. Yiba yindoda ezwanayo nama blue movies “Sex Vidoes”


12. UNGALINGE UKHOHLWE UKUCELA UMUDLA NGEMUVA. PHELA ILA UBUMNANDI BUKHONA FUTHI NAYE UYATHANDA UKUDLIWA NGEMUVA.


13. Qiniseka ukuthi uyamuzwa uma echama ngoba kuyingozi ukumshiya engachamile, phela uketshezi luyashisa uma lungaphumanga lonke, ungabona esekufebela kanti nguwe ovule amathuba.


14. Ungesabi ukumphenya inkomo yakhe, uyibukisise uze uyidlalise ngeminwe yakho, phela abantu besilisa ayesaba ukuyivula kuze kube ngcono amadoda.


15. Make sure that umdlalisa ngokwanele ngaphambi kokuba ufake uhalakasha lwakho lolu ukuze asheshe achame, mnike umthondo adlale ngawo, ube yi toys lakhe.


16. Akongiwa umfazi, uma ungamudli namuhla umbekele bani, inkomo ngeyokuhlatshwa noma engafuni, mbhebhe ngendlela yokuthi angakuqhathanisi namuntu.


17. Musa ukuba nesikhathi sokubhebha umkakho, ungalindi kuze kuyolalwa, noma umfica ekhishini khwela phezu kwakhe.


18. Kumele ngabe uyamazi ukuthi yini ayithandayo, menze leyonto ayithandayo, this is sex ingeyenu nobabili.


19. Livule lonke igolo lomkakho, (kodwa abanye banamahloni) faka ulimi lwakho embotsheni, uncele umsunu, amalebe ngiqinisile ngithi kuwe, noma ecabanga ubufebe akasoze ngoba nguwe wedwa omudla ngaleyondlela.


20. Uma kwenzeke iphutha uNoxolo wacela ukuthi umbhebhe, yenza njalo, bese uthi ungena nje kumkakho ube umbingelela ngawo, kuyokuthatha isikhathi eside ukuthi ungathundi ngoba kade uqeda kuthunda kuNoxolo.


UMA UWALALELE LAMAZWI UYOBA INDODA EMADODENI. NGEKE FUTHI ABATSHELE ABANGANI BAKHE UKUTHI UYANELE NOMA CHA YINI OCANSINI NGOBA LOKHO KOMDALELA INKINGA ABANGANI BAKHE SEBEFUNA UKUZWA NABO LENTO OYIZWAYO. WENA OWESABA UKUKHOTHA UMKAKHO AWUKAQALI UKUMBHEBHA, BAZOKUBHEBHELA YENA.


And there it is, the black men have spoken!!!


***If someone feels they want to try and translate this into English.... do try***

On a Poetic Tip!!!

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.

I say, It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.

I say, It's the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

PS: No worries, I stole this poem & I aint ashamed to even say it........ But it sure is a nice one!!!

Nice enough to make make the "exotic lookinglike- women" feel good about themselves! (I do mean that in the most nicest way as I sometimes fall under the same category - ya right!)

Go Maya.....

TuesDay ~

I can't believe it's friggin April fool's and I have had a good laugh yet!

And I haven't sent any of my stupidtext messages to anyone yet! I need some inspiration. Ooh, I was so shocked to learn that BF @ age 25 doesn't have a driver's license..... or a learner's - my gosh at this day and age!!!!

The whole skate-cooper thing was cute and havin his brother chauffeuring us around was nice, but the brother can't drive! Can you believeIt? Seriously now!!!


So yesterday he tells moi that he went to by that stupid K53 book so he can get his learners..... told him that is the most dumbest thing ever coz everyone knows that the book doesn't help much!

Oh but... see what happens when a person chills with people who do Lokshin Management & have no future plans whatsoever??? They drag you down with them! They don't wanna go to school, they "can't" get a job coz of o'ngamla mana cheese-boy get all the good jobs, Like duh! What do the expect when they don't even have a matric certificate??? So BF made good decision to quit that life, move to Nelspruit, find a job, fall in lurv with Khensani and then do the rest of the things he has been wanting to do, one at a time!!!!!

Zim & Politricks

Could this be the year that My Fwend Bobby Mugabe finally loses the reign of terror or is it iron fist - Kwaki, you'd probably know more about this than moi!

MDC claims that it has won the Zim elections.... What about Simba?

Should I even be concerned about this?

What do you guys think this will do for Zims economy..... Think about buting bread for 35million zim dollars..... shooo!!!

Oh wow... I think there's gon' be war in that country!!!

Why were there 9million balllots ordered when only about 5million people had registered to vote???? I smell corruption!

Whoaa, heard Jacob Zuma saying that the law wasn't made to be user-friendly... that if anyone breaks the law - it must bite their asses! HuH?

MonDay Morning ~

It's probably not a good for me to be in this state but Fuckit.... I had a space muffin this morning and it's working! Only problem now is that I have just been given a list of things I must do before Friday, it's about half a page but it looks long!

Was on the phone with a client right now and 2 minutes into the conversation I forgot the reason why I had called in the first place, luckily the person I was on the phone with is too babalazed to give a sh*t (Sundown beat Kaizer Chiefs - celebrations lasted till early hours of morning, for soccer people that is)


I'll phone him back later!

On my weekend - good one @ home as female friend is still "madly in love" with new man ( I give them 6 weeks together then sh*t will hit the fan, she's my fwend I know how she gets after the 4 week window period)

Got invited to a b'day party but guess what, when I got to the venue all I saw were old nelspruit farmer looking-like men withtheir wives havin a lekker dop. Then tried calling Ms Daisy and her phone was off!!! Whatchusayaboutthat Miss???

Besides that it was the usual getting hammered on Amstel!

Ballet....

A long, long time ago I thought I wanted to be a "ballerina"......

And then our speech and drama teacher took us to see a play!

I was traumatised!

Hunted down by strange characters!

Would ya believe it........

On my way to Spar to go buy me lunch I got stopped by 2 women and a man... I "apparently" look like someone that they are looking for!

What I could pick up from the questions and small talk they were making with me was that the look-alike woman is married - which I am not, She drives a Jaguar - I'm still saving up for a starter pack car, she has a child (sex unknown) - I don't have any of those, want one but doubt I can afford having one.

So basically I think it is obviously a case of mistaken identity, what bugs is what are those dodgy looking people after this woman??? If it is for something tacky then I so wish I do not get compared to funny people! Yo, those people were ready for action phela, luckily I'm a laid back person so I came with the "chill man, what can I do you for" attitude. And the kind of calmed down a bit... Imagine,

When I was still in durban I used to get into trouble coz there were only 2 Khensani's that were well known in those circles and everytime the other one did something scandalazz I had to make it clear that it wasn't me, it was the other skinny, light skinned one, pweeze people - I am not that tacky!

Ooh and I had some chick that looked like me, but I liked her, she was cool - we became good buddies after a while. But in this case, uh hell no. I don't wanna get jumped by weird characters coz of some woman I do not know.

And that people, was the highlight of my so, so day!!!

Soapies and whores!

My Goodness the drama on tv.....

The young and the restless for instance,

Jack - Now married to Sharon, was also married to Nicky and Phylis! Phylis is now married to Nicholas who was married to Sharon. Nicholas is Nicky's son, meaning that Jack was his step-father at some stage.

So Sharon went on to marry her ex-husband's step-father and Phylis married her ex-husband's step son!

Sharon's scandals of shagging her once sister-in law's husband while she was still married to Nicholas, Sharon was Victoria's Maid-of-Honour by the way....

Then there is Jill and her mother who were both married to the same man at some point as well.

Er.... ya, well I have turned to this soapie watching person suddenly! I've only started watched the soapie a few months ago but I get the picture somehow... imagine how long it has been around!

I've also noticed that The young & the restless has the same writers or producers as The bold and the Beautiful.......... I'm sure most people knew that alreaddy but I am new to this so ya!

All I gotta say is those producers must be smoking a hell lot of weed to come up with story lines like this!

And don't get me started with the bullsh*t that is happening on the Bold... Brook, Taylor, Jackie, Bridget... they are all just these lil' bitches who break a tear every now and then, how many times do the fall in love???

Then in Generations there is Karabo........ how many men has she gotten engaged to? She's a slut as well, one with "dignity" my friend said.

Haai, my grandmomma is the one who follows these soapies religiously and I sometimes do not have time, though they do keep me entertained somehow!

I think I'm getting old!

Passions on etv.................. some idiot actually wrote that script!!!!

The LonG WeeKeND

I think I am the only person I know who is actually back at work today....

So thought I'd break down my long weekend to ya'll.

Thursday night: Spring Cleaned my place, I got smashed on wine after the drama of man leaving for home, Abenche being chased by huge dogs and Chick friend's man drama...

Friday: Got a shock when I walked in to Village complex and found out that bottle-stores were closed as it was a religious holiday, F.F.S it was a Friday - I would have never thunk! So after a long time of thinking and trying to come up with a plan of action. I found myself drinking the DOuglas Green wines ( St. Raphael, Anna, Clair and the other Saint).... Way to get there quick & cheap! Just as I was busy with that, nephew calls in sad mode and asks if I can come over to talk, went there and ended up passing out on the couch...... had made plans to join Ms daisy & her peoples for a drinking session & did not make it? Bummer!!!!

Saturday: The picnic thingy took place I think - but had to make a choice between being nice to family and goin out to have fun, the family won..... so spent some hours with them - came back late and it started raining ( Picnic outdoors and rain = oh hell no!)

Sunday: Slept the whole day, lazed around the house and oh wait I did laundry before getting into full lazy mode and made dinner for 1 - that so sucks!!!

Monday: I made meself pwetty with make-up and then I wore pyjamas, slept and had an odd visitor later on, Strange hang-up calls and an ex claiming their undying love for me - ya right.

And now here I am at work, keeping busy and all!

Goin home @ 1

Oh my Gawd...

For the first time in my working History, My boss is letting me go home @ 13H00!!!

This has never happened before, usually I am the first to arrive and the last to leave the office!

Ok so now Ya I'm happy that I get my freedom early but now the problem is that I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do with this extra time that I have. hmmm, so I'll go home, clean up my shack, defrost my supper and ?, get smashed on wine! I don't wanna start too early -

Ok, have fun where ever ya'll gonna be my peoplez!

I am still trying to decide what to do with myself, Kwaki is not feeling my pain so it's fine... I'll do the picnic thing then, I just need someone to go with. I magine getting to a do all alone - No fucken ways!!!!

WeDnesDay -

Am still a bit sad about my nephew, they forced him to go back home and apologise to the goat!

He didn't wanna but hey, what can I do?

Er....

I have FB friends.. Yay, ok I only have 3 but who cares!

When this load shedding thing hits early in the morning it basically messes my whole morning up and when the power comes back I am a bit lazy to start being busy! Like now, I'm just in lazy mode!

My one sister has just started working for Eskom and no one said congrats to her on the new job!!! Shame.

Nelspruit can be boring sometimes..... and the only way I make myself feel better is this " Only Boring People Get Bored" and I hate to think of myself as boring!

This is still Tuesday people....

Ok as the #1 stunt puller in the family ( and I have done a disappearing act before) they called me in and asked that I speak to the boy as he confides in me and all plus I am an expert when it comes to such - yes, yes!

My conclusion = He has to stick it out for the next year and a half as he is still in Gr. 11 now, He needs to see a therapist ( ya I know us black people don't get this therapy thing quite well but he needs to talk to somebody). and I offered that he can crash @ my place every now and then ( despite the fact that I live in a 1 bedroom place & I so need my 2c worth of privacy) I am one of his closest friends so ya that's my boy & I feel for him!

Truth is living with relatives isn't always a great idea especially if they are like mine.... they love unnecessary drama and I don't want him to go through that, I know I've had to stay with them while still in school.

So basically I'm the only normal person he can stand living with annd our fights don't last more than 15 minutes...

And we share a B'day...YaY

Story: Year 2006 - I once told the same dude (step pa) that I'll fuck him up the next time he puts his hands on my nephew, after that I pulled a stunt and 4 months later they came to apologise - I'm a genius when it comes to guilty-trippin people!

Ah well......

Family drama, what can we ever do to stop all'a this?

I'm still in a toxic relationship with my mother. I think we should both understand that it is simply too late for me & her to fix shit so we must just stick to disagreeing with the way I live this what I call my life!

All in all, ya the boy finally snapped.... People are confessing to have never seen that side of him! I have so I'm not as shocked as they are!

Run-away kid!

Huh...........

Some people are on holiday already...... I'm jealous!

My nephew pulled a disappearing act on his mom & step pa... guess he finally lost it with the step pa's attitude!

I think my older sis finally asked herself the question that crosses most married people's minds - Why the Fcuk did I marry this man?

Next question will be - Do I really have to loose my only son over some man I'm not sure if he's still love with ex-wife or not.
Heee, heee, heee!

Nephew staying with me for a while!

I never wanna go through that!

Tuesday -

Tjo...

I struggled to fall asleep last night and this has been happening quite often now. It's like I know I want to go sleep coz I keep dosing off on the couch but when I get to my bed its gone - the sleepy feeling I'm talking about!

So I'll just lay on the bed and hope it comes back, meantime my arms start acting funny, like I don't know what to do with them. I feel uncomfortable which ever way I try to rest them, like I could just take them off my body and put the aside then sleep - it is so weird I tell you!

Ok, load shedding will hit my part of town soon so I'm typing as fast as I can.

BF is going home for Easters.... I don't know if that is good or bad for me, I mean I can go get sloshed some where and sleep over my friends place without feeling like I have to let him know that I won't be seeing him coz I'm drunk. I won't be getting any but WTF, so many thoughts crossed my mind when he said he won't be around for like 6 days.... What if he bumps into his ex - he was pretty hung up over her? Gawd I can't believe I'm even thinking that! He hasn't seen his parents in a long time so maybe he'll spend most of his time with them?... Not, Surely he'll want to go see his "friends".... See now I'm confusing myself!

Sh*t!

Ok, so I have to make my long weekend plans without him.... right, Abenche move out, so I don't have a neighbour I can drink with, My chick friend has a new BF and seems to be spending all her free time with him - so I'd be like the nagging friend when I call to ask where she is & what she's doin, with who??? It's like vice/versa now coz that happened when I first hooked up with HP.

Kwaki are you coming to NST this weekend. Save me from boredom asblief.

I think I need to do some work so I can be sane again!

Monday -

I spent the whole weekend indoors.....

Didn't have the heart to go out or do anything 'coz of the rain. Met Abenche's (that is the weird midget-looking like friend) weird girlfriend, when asked what I thought of her I smiled and said "She's something special, isn't she? Wow! What can I say?"

Had no power this morning, 'till about 10minutes ago actually.

Stupid girl that pissed me off on Friday was made to apologise by her "boss/ under-carpet lover" as I was right and she was obviously wrong!

Sometimes I really feel like quiting my job and working some place else, a rival company maybe.... no pay increase still, imagine that while everything else seems to getting more expensive! As I write this I am (in my mind) drafting a letter to male boss about my salary issues and my budget breakdown ( that will exclude the money I spend on smokes and booze).

I got to work and found out that they are on holiday ( they being male & female boss as they are business partners and married to each other - huh? did I make sense there?)

Can you believvvve It!

So am stuff with a heavy work load while they are having a fab time @ some spa right now! ghrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

I feel like a heathen having not been to church in a long, long time! See the only thing that is keeping me away from going to NST church is coz they are forcing us ( the "youth" that now suddenly have jobs) to contribute towards some church building fund of some sort, funny coz the church was built a long time ago. Shouldn't I put in money to the church coz I want to? So this coming Good Friday, I might just take a trip to the church and make sure I duck as soon as the priest leaves the alter!

Boyfriend says "we" need to start jogging "together" in the mornings.... I laughed so hard I think I pulled a tummy muscle. Sure I need to get in shape but I don't think I like the idea of me (in tights/short) sweating it out @ 5AM, noways! So I suggested that I'll take walks every now and then and do tummy crunches/sit-ups or whatever those things are called but its exercising nonetheless. Oh and the "hot lemon water diet"... I'll look like a summer bunny, just you wait and see!

Have ya'llz a great week!

She pissed me off but happy weekend 2 all.

What is it with some females, dressed like 2$ (yes 2 dollar) whores and thinking that they can tell me - me that they know better, they are right and I must listen and stop acting as if I'm all that?????......

W.T.F

1. I could ask a few questions of how she landed that job as she can't even put together a proper budget breakdown? Hhe?

2. People (including me) has seen her doing very immoral things behind "closed doors that were not really that "closed", with a married man, who happens to be friends with her MD and she is still pretending to be "buddies" with the wifey.... eish too much of a long story but basically she is a whore.... ka'pish!

3. She must also stop lying about having a car, one that is always at service (reason why she's sitting at the back seat of a friend's car), it's fine if she doesn't have a ride - no one expects her to, like me I drive my boss' car and the family car that they give to me only when they are in happy mode! (Note to self: I need to check I much I have saved so far for a ride)

4. A dressing ring does NOT mean imaginary engagement ring..... It's bad luck to lie about those thing, you might jinx all your chances of being proposed to.

5. Is this still about the chick that pissed me off a few minutes ago...... I'm confused!

6. I don't think I can write anything more as I have to do quotations for some upcoming events..... eish!

Happy weekend....

Ever noticed how radio stations suddenly play almost every track done by an artist that is "touring" and performing in the country?? As soon s the leave it's back to the random music they feed us! I swear I have heard about 30 Brian McKnight songs since this morning!!!

Eskom @ it again

Gawd demmet man, Eskom did it again!!! I had no power since 06H00 till 14H47, imagine that!!!!

Worst load shedding in weeks.....

1. I had to wear unironed clothes (helper hasn't be to work for 2 weeks)

2. Had cold cereal and no coffee

3. No radio (I need to upgrade my phone, yes, yes)

4. Tried pretending to be busy with work but it didn't work out today as both bosses were @ office, for what? I don't know!!!

5. Didn't get to see the weather report (not that it is always accurate) so now my butt is freezing a bit as I look like a summer bunny!

6. I slept @ 19H30 last night coz of terrible storm that scared the isht outta me, living alone sucks sometimes - imagine if I had a man around, I'd run to him every time the thunder rumbles.... huh, just like in the movies.

7. Only now @ 15H00 my day gets hectic...... I have to knock off in the next hour and a half!

So................

How ya'll doin?

I smell a weekend..... YaY!

Wednesday -

Gawd DammiT, my neighbour's dogs are gay........ I suspected that they were gay but I didn't want to catch them in action!!! Eeuw!

I drugged myself last night, very fatal combination = myprodol & cheap whisky that Kwaki & I named Harare as we could not pronounce the name, I needed to sleep & I was in pain, that darn "Suzie" can be annoying - doctors call it "dysmanoria" (V.V bad spelling).

HP called trying to be nice, I pulled a Tyra Banks' fit on him as he was disturbing me from my 1 man brainstorming session!

Jill Scott rocks..... Ammy Winehouse has serious problems, she's permanently high & sloshed plus has a friend with the Osborn surname, how weird can she get! Love her music though!!!!

What happened to load shedding?

Telling lies with beer and things in hand!

Sunday - Played a not so nice joke on HP! I had spent Friday & Saturday dodging him ("they" say absence makes the heart grow fonder), plus I was freaking out thinking that I might be pregnant (condom broke some weeks back), eventually "suzie" came and all was better! SO when he showed up at my place on Sunday night (with beer & cigarette in hand) I told him I was pregnant with a serious look on my face - His reaction was priceless!!!

Then he started yelling @ me for drinking and smoking, I wanna kill his baby blah, blah, blah! After that he really started panicking and I wasn't helping even one bit - Me = "Ya so now that you've made me pregnant, I know you'll leave me blah, blah" - that kind of talk forcing a tear to run down my face, I didn't work!

Then he started askin what we were going to do, maybe we should move in together so he'll look after me!!! Right there I was like NO fcukin way, so
I had to tell him that I was joking - that obviously pissed him off! He got over it only yesterday!

April fools in March, whaahahaha! Ok but clearly he didn't find it funny!

There is a problem with telkom, since yesterday phones ore not working! Eish!

I'm so looking forward to the long weekend! Haaa, waking up late for 4 days!

HappY WeekEnd....

Happy Friday everybody................

I LMAO when I read sweets post about the English v/s Americans.....

I am so chuffed at the thought of waking up at 08H00 tomorrow being a Saturday and all, 8am is waking up late for me - somehow I have a weird thing about oversleeping, I never do, Even after a hectic drinking night I wake up early, pretend to be busy, try to cure my hangover and then sleep on the floor as a "relaxation" thing. I suck, I need hobbies!

Ok besides that, Kwaki leather pants in Venda are it - as hot as it is there - trust me you'll be a winner with the ladies ( and that qualifies as the worst advice to date)

Yo, I had a dream ( am trying to decide if it was a good dream or a nightmare) of a 7year old cute girl pinning some terrified looking boy on the floor, ripping his clothes of and talking dirty to him..... this after I had read Bridget's post one last time before heading home! SCary isht.

As usual I have no plans for the weekend. chilling @ home watching tv/movies are it, so it seems - don't know whether that make me a person who doesn't have a social life or a person who appreciates "quality" time alone, hmmmm!

Ok have a good one!

And fromnow on if yu spot any typos or any other funny errors - I decided that my spell check doesn't work - so deal with it!

Chat rooms

Am still searching for something smart to post about................

Anything other than the fact that I officially dub myself an internet whore - I've been called that before but now I see it!

I am daing chat rooms 3 of them........... I'm a hit @ all of them but am gettin a bit freaked out as some say "Ai, I know you.... Why you looking for men on the net, you always have men around you mos!"

Ok so now I know - the next time this person sees me anywhere around here, he'll want to talk and probably share the news with other weirdos.

Right!

You wouldn't believe the requests I am getting from these people, shooooo!!!

I'm gonna go think now.... I'll probably go back to the same topic but give more detail!!!

Zodiac thingies!!!

Ok, I've admitted to this before and I will again I read these star signs astronomy thing.... but sometimes they scare me 'coz I often think that if I read it one day, it'll say that I have 3 hours to live blah, blah,blah. And if the same thing is written in all the magazines and there are about a million Aquarians reading this thing, does it really apply to each and every one of them. One said I must'nt waste my money on unnecessary things or I'll have financial trouble later in the month!!!

Last Friday, the booze was on me (friends & I drink - a lot) and I don't even want to think how much I spent but this week (and it is only the 5th) I am broke..... sad I know but Arg, doesn't it always happen! Anyhooo, I am quite sure that there are extremely wealth Aquarians that are not broke right now or anytime soon!

Ah well, so I received this email from a cousin of mine (really, people that work at the bank do get bored, you should see the crapy emails they circulate), and it has the star signs thingy going on! Read mine, most of what they say about Aquarians are true (yes,yes - about me that is) but I will have them know that I am an emotional person.... I have a heart afterall, there was a time I thought I was heartless too but now I'm ok!

Oh, they said I must forward it or I'll have bad luck - bullsh*t!

Read yours!!!

Star Signs, Random Email and Superstitions

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they Want. 20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful. 8 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. M ak e g rea t friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Deter mi ned. Indulge themselves often. Very generous. 12 years of bad Luck if you do not forward


GEMINI - The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable But needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22)Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


LEO - The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22)Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive. 13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to.Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22)Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


SCORPIO - The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21)Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out. 14 years of bad luck if you do not forward

Dildo

Like seriously.....

Some person out there sat down and designed the very first dildo/vibrator! Was that person male or female and the hell was going through their minds when they thought "Geez let me make something that resembles or replaced a dick for women (who might be lonely or simply sexually frustrated)!

People come up with the most weird and sometimes helpful things on earth, Kwaki once tried starting a trust (back when I still had man issues)..... "Buy diva a dildo fund", and I am not sure how that ended, if there was money that came in then he probably bought booze with it!

Oh well........ was just a thought!

YaY to internet connection

Being without internet sucks big time, the last week has been very difficult.... but I am back now!

A lot of things happened the last 2 weekends but clearly they were not too important or life changing in any way as I cannot even remember much!

The new help managed to do all my washing, even the things that have been in the laundry bin for more than 3 months, eeuw! But haai, the cleaning is not so good, I came to find that the beer bottle stain on the coffee table was still there, there was dust on the tv, fingerprints on the fridge door and things under my bed!!! Wasn't too impressed @ all but then againg it's the dirty clothes I was more worried about and even if she did clean, I'd still think it wasn't good enough..... Bad habit of mine, I have my own way of cleaning and things won't be perfect unless I do them myself.

Let me do some work and blog later.

The new Help....

For the first time in my life I have a maid.......

Ya at my parent's house there was a person "helping" with the cleaning and the washing! So this female is doing my laundry today.... and possibly cleaning my house (House means a Bachelor's flat in my terms)! I must say that I am not too comfortable with the thought of a stranger being @ my place while I'm @ work or away. I leave my things anywhere coz well I live alone and do not believe that I have to hide my things!

It is a relief in a way coz I haven't had time to do my washing since February started, yup, it has been that long! I get home around 5 and on weekend I am usually recoverying from the Friday night drinking thing I like so much, I do not own a waching machine so I did my laundry by hand. So, so difficult to be a young, working, wanna-be something (someday soon) woman and still have time to do all these chores that take up so much time....... pheww and I'm still to have a "live-in-lover" and a bambino, how will I ever cope when the time comes????

Hope nothing goes missing or "misplaced" as I am very much scared pf confrontations. Will have to find out later on today if I want to keep the help!

BorinG DraMa

Oh bumber..... Man- Stealer- Drama not as juicy as I'd like it to be!

Turns out that the woman, flirted with HP while they were at some Road show thingy for FNB (where they both work) last weekend!

So HP get to telling the story and this what he said happened:

On the bus headed to some where in Secunda, the woman was askin him questions about his "girl friend" = me, and all that other nonsense about true love and isht. After the promos that they were doing, they all went drinking ( and HP not being much of a drinker got drunk too quickly - huh), suddenly him and the woman were deep in conversation (her telling him things a bit too private) and then sometime during that she asked him to walk her to the loo then outside for a smoke......

That is where she apparently "asked" to kiss him and he says he though she was kidding... blah, blah - bottom line he kissed her back!

And he says that is where it ended, nothing more than a kiss! Right, at this point of the story I was not pissed @ all!

So comes Monday @ their work place.... woman was calling HP and talking dirty to him.... tee, hee! Askin him how he liked the kissed and if he would like more than that, er..... I've spent enough time with HP so I knew his response before he told me - "eish, eish.... ah, no". (He has issues with women who are upfront about what they want, he becomes shy/embarassed when some women come on to him, learnt the hard way!)

So it was a night of flirty like text msg's mixed with confessions of how her husband doesn't appreciate her, what, what, he's cheating and all that nonsense! Oh and how she is what HP needs, not some immature 24year old girl that will never be enough for him........huh??? Imagine! And she has never seen me before. My Gawd!!! The nerve of that woman.......

But I have decided that she is bored with herself and her messy relationship... and I won't be bothered coz that man she's after sleeps on my bed, next to me every night.... except for when I've had alcoholic beverages, nonetheless, he's close enough!!!

See.... boring drama, much like scandal on etv, puhshhh!

YaY... I Love Drama

Finally, drama in my "Love" life - YaY...............

Apparently there is some older woman (+- 38) that is wanting to steal my BF.

Was starting to feel like I was the only woman who thought HP is good Lover-Material! Phewwww!!!

Ok, HP is visiting later tonight and will tell me what's goin' on! So I'll let you know what's up tomorrow!!!!

Having a very hectic day @ work..... busy, busy, busy!

SLow MonDaY

Ok, new week.... the whole love-thing madness has faded a bit, had a working weekend and I am tired as hell but since I work 4 BEE boss I had to drag my ass to work even after I cried diarhhoe (Spelling???) & exhaustion! My skin colour had changed to navy black after the bloory sun toasted me, that place was fcukin hot.

Had booked accommodation @ some Guesthouse house in BadPlaas and because finding a proper place to sleep there can be close to impossible on the weekend the wasn't any room for being too picky but eish that place was seriously dodgy, and it did cost like R240 p.p so I had to make new plans and convinced some reservations lady @ Aventura to give us rooms, leaving the Guesthouse person quite pissed coz she had to cancel her plans to accommodate us! Our sound engineer guys managed to pick up a few chicks and took them back to the hotel, funny picture.....

My thoughts: Uneducated women from rural areas that hang out & drink zamalek (Carling Black Label) at the local shebeenS are just not a plan, finish! And some don't believe in condoms..... huh..... can U imagine? Drinking Savanna is an upgreade for some of them, the guys bought them a 12 pack and they didn't even have to say much to make them come with. I didn't even ask what went down when I saw the guys @ the stadium the following morning - they were babalaazed, that much I know! Am scared at the behaviour!!!


Do ya'll have any idea how much make-up some of these artist put n their faces to look so good. haai, I was disturbed by the Before - Immediate -and- after images of Chomee ( signed to 999 music)!

Fact: Arthur Mafukate aka King of Kwaito (if he still calls himself that) really sucks and only the gods know what would happen to his carreer without those lil' and Old girls in the skimpy rags they'd like to call "outfits"...? Those girls can dance or maybe its the jumping around and showing off of under wear that confuses us so much? Someone wise tell him to resign as a singer and rather stick to producing!

As I am typing this, ne, I am slowly dosing off and my boss is sitting right opposite me!

Ok later................... before I make more spelling errors and write more nonsense

HaPPy V'dAy

Happy Valentine's day to all those who care.............

But I was thinking, since it is such a big deal (see tv ads, magazines & radio competitions etc), wouldn't it much nicer if Valentine's day became a public holiday... like we don't have to go to work or school on the day? That way it would have more meaning to the rest of us who see no point in it (mainly 'coz I won't get anything), ne like we can chill and have a lekker braai with friends & non existing/imaginery boyfriends! That is so a plan!

Unfortunately I can change our calender, but say if Zuma celebrated V'day - we would definately get a public holiday in the future!

My ass is officially not getting anything special today, sigh..... oh well I got 10 more months left in this year to get HP to spoil me!!!

Help

One thing: I need remedies to get rid of period pains, serious ones @ that! At this point I'll do just about anything to make them go away... pweeeeze, pweeeeze! I can't take it anymore...

I can't write much today as I am in great pain, no smile on my face & not in a good mood @ all!

It's V'day tomorrow, am sick..... no nookie, no gift,nothing! This so sucks....

Sh*t as I see it!

South Africa, South Africa.....................

Every second person with some title in front of their name ( in GVT especially) you meet in this country, no wait this continent is corrupt and greedy in some way! And we, the people are paying for it. I am officially starting to save up money so I can flee this country, am thinking of moving to Christmas Island (and it does exist), where I'll work as a waitress @ some coffee shop and still make a good living out of it, enjoying sundowners every evening with a beau whose name I won't be able to pronounce!

Let's face it, S.A is fast becoming like Zim.... See how they stripped Mbeki of his dignity! It's like Zuma is god to some and the rest of us that couldn't be bothered by politics will have to put up with whatever that these people dish our way!

News this morning ( I am a bit behind with the news generally as I only watch a bit in the morning), I hear Pharmaceutical (spelling) companies are just as bad as the construction & security companies when it comes to bidding for tenders.... Yo! Story uninteresting to me really but I couldn't help putting my 2cents worth of a comment! And then there is that white boy from Skeilek who went on some killing spree and now claims madness....... please that boy deserves the death penalty finish & klaar!

My boss yelled @ me yesterday, I got so pissed off I wanted t quit my job as it is happening a bit too often lately but then I remembered that I have to pay my rent, feed myself and support my bad/expensive habits.... Eish, 1 day I'll drop da bomb on them when they least expect it! Slowly counting the days!!!!

Ok back to work now!

My b'day weekend

Bruised leg = Fridays party @ ARC too hectic, vivid memories of certain incidents.... like how I ended up with bruises on my left leg! The most that I remember is that I had fun, saw people some I couldn't be bothered with & some I was please to see.

Saturday - started off on a slow note as I was still recovering from the night/morning before, babalaas and phone ringing non-stop! We all looked lost and bored for a while, till I changed into this top I had worn once since I bought it somewhere in Dublin 3 years ago, my boobs have grown so much since then so imagine nice silky black top exposing cleavage to the max ( At some stage I think my one boob did pull a Janet Jackson number there but people were too drunk to notice).

Booze everywhere, people dancing ama get-down, strange people that clearly gate-crashed as I did not know them @ all. Other felt out of place so they left, good! Only my butler tray's leg broke a litle bit besides that 4 one nothing went wrong, my "old age" neighbour's didn't even call the cops on my ass - wow!

Yes, most of them didn't bring their own booze - I had to buy... I'm broke but I had tons of fun so I'll bitch about it later.

Body still tired... wishing for a nap but I gotta work!

and I didn't any gifts from these arses I call friends, how nice! HP is the only one who gave me something - a pair of Pumas, lovely!

Sunday was just spent lazing around (for me that is) HP was sweet enough to clean my place and make me supper - it looked strange when people came over as I was laying on the couch while the man is slaving in the kitchen - ya! After supper he got to massaging my oh so sore feet coz I kept complaining that my body being in pain! and I didn't even have to ask. I'll marry someone like him someday!

HuH........

Am feeling a bit sluggish today and I don't understand why coz I had a great shag this morning! I can't allow myself to feel like this, I wanna get smashed tonight.........

So last night HP tells me that I shouldn't expect anything from him 'cuz he doesn't celebrate valentine's day, said every day is valentine's day 4 him! Now what do I say to that??? There goes my first chance to do the whole V'day thing, ah well I'll just hold my thumbs and hope I get something nice to compensate for my disappointment!

Can't wait for knock-off time so I can go home, do a bit of cleaning and take a nap, am realy feeling odd!!!

Happy weekend everybody, mcwah - mcwah!

The industry.....

The reason why they still let Thembi Seete embrass hersels on national tv is se-riuo-ss-i-ly beyond me! She is simply too old for what she's doing on Jika Ma Jika and as for her vocab, My Gawd! Her place in the entertainment industry waved bye-bye the second Boom Shaka members tried "persuing" solo careers. Clearly Lebo left with all the talent!

And who the hell decided that her co-presenter had talent? SABC, please! And they still think we'll pay our tv licenses for the crap they dish on our screens!

Some "artists" really cannot sing.... think Siphokazi - ayatlabalasa ( Gawd knows I would have put that in English if I knew how to translate it), Yvonne Chaka Chaka is even worse & and "they" call her a legend - b'coz of that I am now very confused as I no longer understand the meaning of legend! See I have figured what these radio stations do, they keep playing the same songs over and over again trying to convince us that they are good songs when they really aren't, do you have any idea how many "good" artists they are in this country whose music is just put aside because they don't have the proper "connections".

Ok, so who are they sleeping with or who are they paying to get so much airplay??? Even if they pretend to be doing things honestly, some radio DJ's know that they are getting payed under carpet!!! That's is what I've decided and ya'll can't convince me otherwise!

Does Penny Lebyane still calls herself "The Phly one", I once imagined her flying away (literaly) when she wore some feathery outfit @ some event, apparently she is one of the "Best Dressed" celebrities in SA. Which will bring me to my next question what qualifies a person to be a celebrity. SA seems to have a lot of those but we just can't see their role nje in general.

One thing though, comedians rock!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Vanyentine'z daY

I think I have wrote about this before but heck.... I'll be repetitve for the sake of being understood!

This will be my first valentine's day with an actual boyfriend..... se-ri-ous-i. I have never received anything on the day before! Reasons would include being dumped a few days before valentine's day or gifts for imaginery boyfriends (cyber dating - yeah I know, creepy) getting lost by post.

Though this year will be different.... I am still NOT going to celebrate the darn day simply coz (as most people say) a money making plot and it is over rated, who the fcuk knows this St. Valentine dude? And why are retailers trying to cash in using the poor man's name? what is he getting out of it?

Sure I will gladly accept any gift that comes my way but I am certainly not buying any (or it could just be that I don't know how to go about getting a man (with good taste) a gift.

Good thing though is that I am NOT going to bitch about it....

Who said the 14th February should be the 1 day people declare their "undying" love for each other?

ReLationsHips take 1 (2008)

I am sitting here thinking to myself how the fcuk I dated this one guy who, by the way has sent me about 13 emails in the last 5 minutes, emails that I have read atleast 3 times to understand coz the spelling errors there are not normal @ all! I mean we have absolutely nothing in common whatsoever, I don't rememer having a proper conversation that lasted more than 3 minutes with him ( not counting the day I was dumping him), he's short and chunky ( I'm big enough 4 2 people therefore I stick to slim guys) ok looks don't matter much but then again it doesn't hurt to have a good looking man waking up next to you now and then, uhmmmm - back to my problem.

It's like I have dating weird people nje and I really don't understand why... The other one is married but can't seem to be faithful to wife! That story is just to depressing and I will end it right there.

One other one I just couldn't figure if it was love, like, lust or pity I felt for him.... and yup it never worked out as well.

I have since decided to think of it as a "very confusing part of my life" coz I can't justify it any other way, sadly.

HP has his own weird abnormalities, but for once I just do NOT care - to the extent that I actually think some of them a cute! Cute being nasty yet adorable.

See what I meant when I said love makes people do silly things!

Remind me to tell ya'll about valentine's day - sad, sad story!

Oh gosh...........

Right now it is 08h55..... I got to work @ 08h00! I was about to blog about my weekend when female boss called saying I must take her car and bring some document to her house as she'll be a bit late. Ok got there took in those damn papers and I was leaving I reversed and smashed her gate with her car!!!

It doesn't look pretty @ all......... I ran inside the house and confessed my sins before she saw it herself! Funny.... I don't know what scared me the most between the smash noise and the pissed-off look on her face!!! By the way, this was my very first "accident" with me driving - and I was sober, imagine that!

So I think I can forget about getting a lil' extra $$$ for my b'day from her!!! Now I have to tell everybody who was coming to my place on Saturday to bring their own booze ( those m*thaf*ckaz can drink, I won't be able get all of them drunk)....

Now aint that a fcuked up way to start a Monday morning.......

NST, for a small place has got a lot of scandals!

No cap and load shedding

First it was load shedding then after I downloaded a few things I reached my cap..... 'twas a rather sad time for me coz I couldn't blog or go to mySpace!

I swear I had so many thing I wanted to write about but now I've just gone blank!

All is still good in love-land, everyting is just so FINE that it is starting to bore me! Where is the drama and petty fights??? Gosh.... I like him a lot though!

Other things seem to be goin well, and I've decided that 2008 should be the year I learn how to budget properly so I do not find myself broke every now & then! I am afterall turning 24 and am well on my way of being a grown-up, not young adult anymore....

Funny story, Mother asks when I am getting hitched seeing how fast the years are going past.... me said, Errrrrrrrrr, So what am I getting for my b'day?

It is a Friday people and (even though am tryin to save $ to buy more booze on he 9th) I will get sloshed this weekend....... I will come up with better things to write about on Monday!

As I had thought.... Boring weeekend!

Well I did have a quiet weekend indoors.... that included very first mini argument with HP on Friday night and denied meself a good shag coz I was quite pissed off!

Saturday came and still had no plans so decided to make house spotless, did laundry and cooked. HP came to visit after work and decide we should get smashed....... brilliant plan, yes,yes! Kwaki came over but had to leave to BCR, leaving me & HP to get sloshed together. After a couple of Amstels (mcwah), we got to deep in conversations and ended up talking about isht from the past - scandals came out - but I had to blame it on the booze (oldest & most stupid excuse ever).

Than I fell sick...... was more pissed off coz it is no shagging for the next 4 days for me!!!

New week and in a few minutes power cuts will hit us and I'll have to pretend to be busy with something (I do most of my work on pc). Damn load shedding!!! If I was working @ the Government complex for one of those departments.... I'd be enjoying as I'd just pack my belongings and hit the road heading home for a nap (weather so in favour for that @ 22degrees with rain).

Manje eish BEE boss doesn't play that isht..... time is $$$, no time for taking naps!

I'll log of & try to get as much work done while I still can!

HP is a sweetheart!

Oops.... I think I've officially gotten it bad 4 the dude, no worries though - it'll pass. Soon I pray, love makes people do funny things!

Am too broke to do isht.

So since I have been dropping hints about wanting presents for my b'day, HP caught on and decided to ask me what I exactly wanted and................... I couldn't answer! See, "we" are still new so I felt that I shouldn't go all expensive on him! I was thinking something like an apple phone, a Wii or X-Box maybe or a nice GENUINE leather bag but then again there will be another b'day (hopefully, we'll still be dating).

Am sensing a dull weekend, reason = am toooooo broke, I am just in pieces! Praying for a friend to rescue me and get me intoxicated, just a little bit you know! And maybe take me to a noisy place with people dancing, drinking and having fun - obviously at their expense! LoL...

Or I'll just opt to stay indoors but when I hide myself then people will be worried, thinking I am sick or dead but it is actually worse - I'm broke!

Month-end isn't too far so I'll be brave for a lil' while! See, cute people also go broke, we just don't show it!

I bet if I had to "spring-clean" my place especially the bedroom, I'll find coins and hopefully a note, preferably a blue'ish, whitish one.

No more bitching for the day, so I will end it right there!

Okay................ happy weekend!

I R Getting Older - Again

And just so no one tunes me the "Oh really? I didn't know" or "I totally forgot" or "Agh, darl... Happy belated" isht!



I'll say it while it is still good and early neh, I R be turning 24 on the 09th February 2008, which will be in 23 days! Yes I have been counting.



See for me there are only a few days I really look forward to - My B-day, the long weekend that makes Monday a public holiday automatically and New years eve! I have no other things that I have to celebrate.



So this is my somewhat weak attempt to get gifts or atleast a happy b'day msg ke.



I don't know what I'll be doing this year, I'm thinking a "surprise" b'day party 4 myself @ Masinga's dam- and I will act surprised!!!!



All gifts will be highly appreciated.......... yes any gift, I'm not too pick but for those who don't know what to get me - I'll take any pinotage, merlot or atleast a Four cousins Rose (If budget is too tight) but better make that the 1,5l bottle!



Oh ya and maybe new curtains for my lounge!



Ya, the thought that I'm actually getting older shocks me sometimes coz I still like playing a lot, like really playing! But "they" do say that one is only as young or old as they feel..... sometimes I feel like a teenager!

Hot, hot day

Good news is that I made that audition I had to do....... and got a call back - yay!!! Sad part is that I might have to cut down on my alcohol binges, so I do not run my mouth like I do when I'm excited and intoxicated.

I have to record a pilot episode and ke I've decided that my first interview will be with a fellow blogger, though he doesn't know it yet! It just makes sense that way! Had to write some proposal isht kind of thing.... I did and as soon as they gimme a green light, then I'll let the person know!

I never asked how much I'd be getting paid, figured it's only normal for me to wonder - if we are getting paid! Imagine having a career that doesn't pay, Eish, I'd rather stick to my normal job!!!

Funny! The sms I got read "Congra!!!! U made it on our odishin", haai kabi but imagine getting a script with serious spelling mistakes like those neh........

It is fcukin hot in Nelspruit - as if that aint new! I'm developing some other heat rash look-alike-thing on my face, so sad!

I have a guest that I want to tell to leave already, it's been 4 days and I R starting feel uncomfortable at my own place......... clearly she has over-stayed her welcome! Ya'll should've seen the surprised look I had on my face when I opened my fridge and cupboards yesterday just when I got back from work............... now that was a Kodak moment! People need to understand that I am used to living alone and for that reason whatever that is in my house is only enough for 1 person -me! Simple, HP even knows that when he comes over he brings his own isht.

Can't be supporting another grown ass woman, isht! I've got my own ass to worry about..... I don't even have a pet to look after, so how much more a 22yr old woman! If I were lesbian and gettin some from her, I'd probably see this differently but nah......

Pls do advice on how to get rid of friend that lives off moi!

Oh but why..........?

I say Load Shedding se gat!!! Just when I was typing away trying to be done with office work so I could get away for a minute............ power failure, serious! Our gate is so dumb, it has to be opened manually if there is no power! Had no choice but to take a 2 hour nap under my desk, no music, no Internet, no coffee..... ya neh!!!

Yo, what happened to Spackle or whatever her name was, she did a few trax with R.Kelly. Loved her music, pity she joined the has beens of American music.

News are so depressing......... there for I refuse to watch them! Will just catch I need to, like the ever so wrong weather report.

Thought I was gonna have a quiet weekend with HP and nope that didn't quite happen, his brother came to visit........................... then on Sunday, Nonsense came to visit, the whole fcukin day - she even slept over! See I had it all figured out................. I was gonna wake up, take a baths, pretend to clean my place, have breakfast then get laid....... watch a few movies and get laid............ have a snack somewhere in between, then get laid again............... make supper, eat and get laid, watch something on TV, sleep, wake up and get laid!!!!

Now how do I do that when there is like 8 people drinking Amstel & Marzen golds outside. Was a bit pissed off, though I did manage to get some lovin this mornin when I woke up.............. someone was late for work vandag!!!

heee, heee...... am tired but very pleased!!!

Oh but why..........?

KWV

Ok.... something very weird!

Wait, first of all I didn't know KWV made wine, I thought it was just brandy & probably something else similar.

So manje I was reading a letter dated 20 November 2007, calling me in for an interview on the 03rd December 2007..... apparently I applied for some Brand Ambassador position!

Why I think it is weird: I have never applied for that job period! I have already missed the "interview" and ke if I did apply for that job why don't they have all my contact details i.e cell #, and the letter was sent #10.... I haven't been using that address in over a year! I know I am an alcohol-lover but ke imagine if all this happened in good time...... the gonna be in CT, all that wine.... my gawd!!!

Ok can't cry over that now.... nice trick though ( if it was 1)!

Back to today... Friday it is and I aint got plans! Nonsense called saying she wants to visit kusasa, HP too. I think I need a new hobby!

Happy weekend to all.

Rainy days, auditions and HP

Am on a mission to find HP's brother a girlfriend.... the dude keeps popping up 4 a "visit" whenever HP is @ my place! I hear he hasn't been laid in 10months......... and right now he is attracted to a person who might be a hazard to his mental state.

Apparently I'm an internet whore........................ still don't understand why though!

Getting into MBTV might be harder than I thought, especially since I haven't been paying much attention to Splacka - HP be the reason for that! Was called in for some sort of audition @ short notice, script & all.... I tell you this for free - It wasn't the best, I am however hoping for a call back so I can nail it the second time around! I just rocked up there after work, dressed like me nje, a box of Chicken Licken Hot Wings @ hand and looking very lost when I saw all those females sitting with scripts there............. make-up, heels and hairstyles! Me thought - What Da Fcuk, just then they all turned to look @ this freak. Ok, I thought to myself! One thing though, the next time they decide to have a script done - they must puhlease get someone who can write proper English.... that makes sense!!!! It might just be less confusing for some of us!

Back on Hot wings story..... Ya'll should have seen the look at that woman's face when I was making drive-through or rather a Fly-thru as Chicken Licken said it, order! I specified that my order was "to go" with an accent.... like duh? I felt like annoying someone just nje coz I can!!!

Gawd I wish this rain could just stop..... I running out of clean clothes coz I haven't done my laundry in a long, long time!
Add to that, waking up in the morning is not that nice.... I feel like I can just sleep the whole day!

Freak'staz

After dancing like a freak on some weird drug and macking on a 3o'something old mahosha - thinking it was his last weekend in Nelspruit................ Kwaki will only leave in Feb. I'm sure not a lot of people notice how funny you looked on that dance floor my friend!

Ok then besides all of that, I have a home made porn clip................. and I'll keep that to myself for fear of thought of as a nympho and freak!

Why must January be so slow?

Haaa, I do hope to see faces in Nelspruit this year though! I have been chilling with people who are not exactly the kind of people I'd like to be seen with! No names will be mention for fear of being sued for "defamation of character" or maybe it might just be that I'm scared of what they'd do to me................ er? NOT.

Truth is as much as I look like the junkie type, I'm actually not and for that same reason I hate being around people who do cocaine and all those funny drugs.

What day is it today??? Holiday fever hasn't fully left my system yet

December...........

Back at work already - I suck sometimes!!!

Low down on what we got up to these holidays................

Firstly I gotta say this - Uhuru is a CRAZY freak, finish & klaar! If I say more than this than I'll revealing too much so for fear of being asked too many questions I shall end it right there.

Some friends are in a very lost space.............

I said I was gonna fall in love this year and yup, I'm well on my way to being someones girlfriend..... HP is officially the man ( I never shut up so you'll get the low down on the relationship)

Kwaki is leaving for Venda - urh, Good Luck I guess ( make us proud and get that degree or whatever that you'll be doin'). He says he exercises now... by walking to town - wow!

Blaque is an even bigger FREAK..... talk about a person who'll confuse 5 people all at once! Be good in Jozi wena otherwise izoku gwinya!!! Buza abaziyo!

People have been threatening to quit drinking........... I, on the other hand do NOT make empty threats or promises so ke mina ngizobona what this year brings out of me!

Lebowakgomo rocks - for a place in the middle of a very dry and rural area.... Had much fun there! Try sitting in between a current boyfriend & an ex-fling in the same car - nice!

RIP to Keith aka Bhubesi ( don't know his surname) - a drinking buddy passed away 2 days before Xmas, apparently there was a prostitute in the car with them! We will miss you dearly - as we will be one short of a person who will entertain us by blackin out.

Will post on some more of what went down..................

w'end fun!

Nice - a bit blah weekend full of noise in a nice way though!

So friends (Kwaki, Khauki, Kliff & Blaque) finally met HP..... some approved, don't know about the 1 that pulled an act I couldn't figure!?! The less I say or think about Friday night, the better!

Blaque aka Jabzella came finally and as expected had stories to tell... She can talk, I mean 5 - 6 hours of her just talking non stop - would that be considered as talent?

HP's brother lost his recycled innocence to her, poor man!!! Kwaki had reason to get pissed off this weekend and ke, I feel your anger dawg!

MBTV's Kasie Xpress's first episode was shot this past Sunday.... was a nervous freak but I'll get used to it in time!

All in all - yup.............. seems like HP will be around for a while!

Xmas coming up and I aint got plans!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have ya'z a good one - Happy Xmas and a Merry New Year

Booze, LonG WeekEnd, BiatcheZ & HP

"Tis a Friday people............

So in a few minutes there'll be a power cut, then I'll stick around the office for an hour or so and then come up with an excuse 4 leaving early. And when I say leave, I mean going to hook up with female friends and getting smashed ( in every way possible), Blaque is visiting me this weekend, yo (ngiyasaba) - then later on HP will call me and ask how my day is & probably tell me about something that happened to him @ work, that he misses me blah, blah, blah..... drink some more then miss having HP around.

That is when I am gonna call him and tell him some mushy, sweet something then he'll come over to my place to do things to me!!! Ha, see - My day is planned!

Eating Jelly babies for breakfast (couldn't eat anything after I had spoken to some guy who has the worstesssssss bad breath I have stunken in my life, I almost barfed- does that make sense?), still haven't done groceries 4 December - eish!!!

My goodness - long weekend, I can only hope that Tuesday morning will be good to me as I am planning some serious debauchery (don't know the spelling)???

Fellow Bloggers - have a good one!

HP be da man???

I have officially gone soft....... HP is turning me into a sweetheart! The thrill I used to get just by turning a man's life upside down has suddenly gone pooof.



It is much too soon for me to start feeling this person..... I can't, I refuse!!! I get butterflies in my tummy when I speak to him, I become giggly and all smiles when he's around - That is so not me! Must be poetry he sends me every now and then, so shweeet....

(I saved and went out for a few hours, now the story might change from what it was in the morning)

Oh, I tend to lose interest when the "man" falls hopelessly in love with me coz the I feel like I don't have to work at getting his attention......... HP has called me 6 times today....."missing" me! So he says! and I'm meeting the older brother - Too, too soon! Would've been better if I was just meeting one of his "BoiZ".

It's been a while since K has been with "man" so yeah I do love the attention - But I do not need to know about everything that happens in one day @ his work place, the funny isht ya but really now - keep it at a minimum right? Right!!!

Gosh, last night was it.......... yo! Ok enough about that!!!

So is this a serious relationship or is it headed there - I don't know yet, I have been avoiding those for quite some time now but I am in "like", very much & it scares me!

Everybody......... I see a "Blog" Soapie coming soon!

Stoned..........

So ke had a quiet weekend at home.... with NO alcohol!

I had a visitor - one we will refer to as " HP", HP will be the dude I wrote about in my last post - the one who wanted to save things for later...... yes him. Later....... is still gonna be later coz we didn't do anything else besides talk for hours and being stoned!!! I had never listened to so much ragga music in my life, I enjoyed it though......................

He's not what I thought he was so I'm gonna let him be, I'm good at driving people away but I think I wanna keep this one around for a long time.

Kwaki sorry I missed your call and no I wasn't getting any at all.... I got caught up doing other things that I didn't care where my phone was at. and I saving your advice for Later.

Haai, phela Saturday while chilling with HP my ex calls me, telling me that he is stuck in town and he had left his keys in Witbank or something along those lines................... basically he wanted to come sleep @ my place and ke I was like what????? He even made it sound as if I was obligated to help him out...... haai, haai, haai!!!! I just put my phone on silent and carried on with my night - not so long ago I asked him 4 a favour and he did not budge but manje I must be the one who rescues him! One word - BULLSH*T - akuphele okuphelayo!!!!

MetroSexual Isht, makes no sense to me sometimes.

Lord help coz the next time I see a grown ass man sipping on a pinkish-orange-ish cocktail - I'm gonna barf........ I don't know! It looks so fagg'ish, especially if that man is sitting right opposite me, while I'm doing dry reds & gold tequilas.



Brotha man saw me drive past Total garage in Steiltes so he followed me in his fresh leather smelling G5 to Spar, parked right next to me and said "Hi" as I was walking into the shop...... I think he kinda sensed that I was thinking what da fcuk?!?



So he waited next to the car till I came out the store. Then came me walking slowly (Mp heat aint no joke hey), so da brotha was like "Eish jo, can I just know you"? So I stared, my gosh the nose was so huge & shiny - an image of Bozo the clown came to mind. Wearing too much pin-stripes, pants, shirt & tie - not forgetting the BEE shoes ( those shoes look painful and a bit funny on some - I'm sure some of these men have nasty corns and fungal infections) Anyways so we get to talking and number exchanging - me thinking why not, he's just a boy from Limpopo, looking for a good time with a chick from Nelspruit that looks loaded. I kept the fact that I'm broke and driving around in my boss's car to myself.

Got a call from the dude, he recently just got paid so he took me out to LaVida for drinks...... wait, before you think I drank the guy under the table - I'll let you know that I actually behaved this time.

Will I get a call from him again? I don't know! Ya'll know I can't keep my mouth shut so yes I spoke a hell lot - forcing the guy to be a man of very few words.

I think I have a crush on a broke guy, he's quite a looker though.... I tried pulling the "Oops, sorry I kissed you by mistake - I didn't mean to" stunt - It did NOT work. I felt like I had lost my mojo. This is what he said " It's not that I don't want to but I just want it to be special - so I must save it for later". Me thought dude it aint like I said fcuk me right now?!?!?!

So ke that's that..... I hope I see him soon! He has got me waiting........................................................................Patiently!
He doesn't drink.

See when people are intoxicated, it makes it easier for people like us to take advantage and blame everything else on being "Drunk".

I am going home in 40minutes, I'll sms him to see if "later" could be today.

Kwaki - don't visit me today, buddy...... You might disturb my plans!!! LoL, ngiyadlala!!!

Get Gone, I'm over you......

The year is almost gone and I had time to think of the many things I got up to in the 11 months that have passed.



1. I moved out of home to rent a bachelor pad less than a kilometer away...



2. I realised how being broke really feels like and trust me - it aint nice @ all.



3. I accepted that I couldn't make "him" love me..... and with that came a series of failed attempts to fall in "love" with someone else, I still hate love.



4. I took in a "friend" who in return fucked me over, coz of her obsession with a man that is already in love with another woman. Yes some females actually do that, what ever happened to "girl power" and a sistah havin another sistah's back???



5. I was told that I have a good voice for radio (but I should NEVER try singing).



6. A friend made me feel like I'm harmless when it comes to other things - damn that chick is a predator.



7. I lost a cool friend - Supa, R.I.P



8. JabzeLLa aka Blaque Diamond left for Cape Town to to finish school, Thank the gods she left Nelspruit.

9. Oh, and I made a promise not to lie anymore...... I have stuck to that, though I have told a few lil white lies to get out of dates with men that bore the shit outta me.

10. When I moved out of home..... I thought I was gonna have as much shagging as my tush could handle - Guess what, it has been months - aint no shagging goin on right about now. I can count the times.......

11. There have very good days, bad ones and some days were just ok.

12. The love of my life - Amstel left then we were reunited again - ah what a lovely day it was, I think my eyes were teary too, looking at that cold one in the fridge at the bottle store in Steiltes... (sob, sob - good memories)

13. The people on MySpace and here on blogger kept me entertained through all those sad, lonely days....

14. Kwaki moved back home...... Kliff is losing his hair...... what more can I say?

15. All those good drunken nights @ BCR..... aaaaahhh!

Ok, ok..... too many things happened, so I can't go on and on!!!

So ke........... my plans for 2008 =

• I WILL fall in love with someone
• MBTV
• I will cut down on the boozing & puffing
• and do all the other things that I always postpone for no reason.

Don't want to say all the things I want to do coz I know I won't get around to doing them - then I'll feel like I've failed myself then I"ll go into state of depression feeling like I just can't do fokol.

Hate it, hate it. SO to avoid disappointments in myself I don't set any resolutions, I just do whatever that has to be done at that time. Ne.

Sho.........................

Woza December's Drama

Yo, yo, yo

Friday night was on some other tip....... It has been a while since our small town was that much fun. Really, I mean most people came out this Friday. K was seeing old faces, some I couldn't recognize - don't know if it was the booze or something else but ke I had fun.

The kind of fun I haven't had in a long time, mainly coz I have to think about what "they" are goin' to say when "they" see me with a green bottle and ciggy in hand.

Came 5 o'clock me still dancing like a "white chick" - L.o.L while female friend's phone was being jacked...... too much action for my eyes, it was like a movie!!! I swear. Blood all over, people jumping over barbed wire fences into some old boer's farm chasing some stupid thug wanna be, cars stolen alles - I mean whoah, me on the other hand - still downing beers and yelling out something, not sure what really but ke I was.

Not even 20 minutes later.............. at the filling station, another fight started, apparently because one of the guys from our side said "hi sweety" to some dude's wife. Bricks and things were flying, this was like @ 05H30 or so. Hi-Tech securities had to be called in. Piet, Koos, Jaco and whatshisname came rushing threatening to arrest - as if they had the powers?!?

And we carried on with the drinking, Had to call it quits sometime after I tried telling anyone who cared to listen that it was the 1st of December - cheeks were heavy and I was seeing triple by then. I'm not sure if I still have money to pay my rent!!!

Next Saturday........... it's on again, beach party and all!!! I foresee a failed event. I'm gonna be up to the usual.

Did I mention that my panties (with other things) were stole from place last Friday....... Long story, "burglar" used my key to "break" in! Issues and drama nje was something I wasn't up to so I gave up on find out the truth - I'm not much of an investigator anyway. The "burglar" forgot to steal all the other things that they could actuall sell for money or some isht like that.... Eish, I wasn't hurt or anything I was just pissed off.

MBTV is coming soon............................ I'm on top of that world right about now! Is anyone of you getting ma a christmas gift??????

Agony Aunt K

Knowing very well that K doesn't have a man, friend comes asks advice on man-love problem.... like really now what answer did she expect from a man less female that would rather drink something with an alc. % than go ga-ga over a thing with a dick?!?

Dear friend in CT tried hooking me up with a dude, not just any dude - a 19 year old dude, boy, that! Now K is 23 for fcuk's sakes - what am I gonna do with a teenage boy? Does boy have something interesting to offer to K? Been thinking for a good 43 seconds and na, Can't come up with a good reason why I'd date a young boy, I am not that desperate! I think I'd actually bitch slap myself if I ever woke up next to anyone younger than 23.

So ke, might as well say what friends' problem is coz I just can't keep my mouth shut. Friend fell in love with man, man already has a "wifey" - steady-girlfriend that everybody knows about. They tried keeping it a secret but people started asking question after man started refusing girl to go out with friends (me) and all that other control-freakish things.

Even man's friends ask girl what the hell was she thinking coz man has wifey? So now girl is confused as she doesn't know if it is love or lust she feels for man....

Me said "eish, ntombazan' angazi yaz! Anginandoda mina uyazi nawe! Wena ucabangani?". Best way of getting out of confusing myself too, I can't really play the agony aunt card well coz chances are I'll tell you isht the way I see it and that might come out not so nice, then people will start calling me bitch.

Friday night was weird, me and same friend decided to stock up some wine, got smashed while singing along to love-hate-sad songs. Neighbors didn't bother telling to shut up this time..... they must have sensed that me & friend are not too nice people as we were both suffering from monthly female sickness. Now you know not to mess with me when I have certain feelings raging about, I might just hurt you.

New week..... new shity isht to go through!

Friends

And then there are people who just like making me look like an angel............. Drunk friend pulled whore-like stunts last Friday, don't ask.... isht happened too fast, I just stood there with my mouth open!!!

I've been good and frustrated lately, I have a dog (a real one) that wants to be treated like a human being. See I've never had a pet (of my own) so I'm not used to caring for an animal, so friend has a puppy now - one puppy that is fed really good food (that happens to be mine), sits on my couch, jumps on my bed and wants to fall asleep on someones lap.....

I can't do it............ at all! I'm not a mean person so it has been rather difficult to tell friend that I don't want the dog at my place anymore! The dog is cute but Haaai!!!!

Was just thinking of how fast this year went by (for me, that is) December time is around the corner - don't think I'm waiting for Christmas here.... I'm black, we don't do much on the day!!! It's the getting "merry" I'm talking about, ummm!!!

My weekend are getting a bit strange though...... I think it's the not drinking, none-the-less I still have fun of my own!!!

Another friend J'bzella "coc404"will be visiting soon, that is one person that can talk anyone under the table, damn that girl can talk. It's what we miss about her though, can't wait!!!