I keep it moving...

I think it's time I admitted to myself that I cannot stay in one town for too long. Not because of scandalous behavior no, I just get bored and boredom really leads to one feeling "stuck" and no one really wants that right? Right!

Anyways. So yes, I want to relocate - haven't really decided where to yet but I will decide by end of November. I like finding myself at different place where I barely know anyone else around. Quite enjoy the adventure of meeting new people.... hehehe! Strange thought went through my mind when I typed "adventure". It is though isn't it?

I've already figured that I am a very tolerant person - so that part is sorted. I still need to learn more about myself and I am really not gonna get anywhere if I'm still living at home now will I. Sheeesh, I really didn't see myself living at home at age 25+4. I've always been a drifter of sort, and I've lived alone for a very long time so having people in my space - when I want to rest does tick me off somehow.

So yes, here's to me trying to find a new home (for at least 2 years) then I'll take it from there,the nice part about all of this is that I have no additional responsibilities so I just do me and for me.

Oh.... I am only moving in January - I am still bound to a contract till December.

Mncim.

All things online

Online shopping and coupons are slowly becoming my thing..... Yes, I am a few years late at discovering the beauty of it but hey! It's here and I am totally loving it.

Discounted spa visits, shoes, accessories, meals - you name it! I click on it.

Going into to town or mall to shop takes a hell lot of time and when I'm on a mission - the less people I have to deal with, the better.

So many cool sites out there - have to be careful though.

I worry about the direction that my obsession with shades, studs, scarfs, flat shoes and neck pieces is gonna take though!

Next on my list is discounted holiday getaways.... I've been thinking about it for a while now! Somehow I always end up with this silly question - Who would I take with to this holiday. Most of my female friends are new mothers, have gotten married or forever complaining about not having enough money, now if I had to go with any of my male friends - I fear that with the setting, liquor and possible room sharing - things may go left very quickly and end up with a messy and awkward situation in our hands. These things have been known to happen!

What's worse is that I have had (what is meant to be forgotten) encounters with some of these male friends and really. I do not want to give that shit another opportunity to happen. *shamefully looks away*

hahahaha! Oh the drama that used to be my life.

And being as single as I am at the moment..... Uhmm! Ya, one man holidays certainly do not sound good.

Oh well.... Hopefully they'll be developments in the love front soon!

Oh my Alla.

I'll tell you a few things about God.... God gives, God takes, God sees, God listens and God blesses!

 Y'all know I am not the preachy type but here's what I believe - being present at church every Sunday does not in any way mean that you are an all round good doer.

 I personally know of people who preach a good word but have hearts of satan.

 They are jealous of other people, They practice witchcraft and use muthi, Hold grudges against people, Would walk past a hungry child and nit be bothered, They do things that you and I wouldn't even think about.

 I could go on with this list but it's not the direction I want to take this.

 If it weren't for my faith in God and my belief that every situation that I find myself in is a test of how strong I am, I would have hung myself eons ago. I have seen the worst of days and have been scarred deeply. Right now it is almost like it never ever happened and I'm receiving my blessings.

 People need to understand that God blesses you so that you can be a blessing to others.


Think about it and see how you can be a blessing to other people - remember that blessing do not necessarily mean Money, in most cases! Know who you are and the kind of skills that you have, be confident in yourself and the rest will find it's own place in your life. I am one of the most emotionally detached people i know - however, please seem to like coming to me wanting to talk about very personal matters.

Normally, when this happens - a dry joke comes to mind before we get seriously deep into the matter - That's my thing.... It may not work for everyone but most of the people have spoken to me have returned to simple say - Thanks for that, it helped. See that, that is a blessing of sort! I may not be instrumental in your life changing events but I was there and gave you my 2cents worth.


 Now I just feeling like I'm just writing stuff here and not actually getting to a point.... and I'm not bothered!I've said what I wanted to say anyway. I'm still finding my way and opening myself to learn and get as much out of my existance here alright.


 Lastly...... "religious" people or at least the ones that pretend to be like to judge us 'coz we drink, smoke, have pre-marital sex, kids out of wedlock, party etc! They call us sinners and shit - I think most of them actually do worse.

doesn't really phase me though - I believe the greatest sin is not knowing the Almighty.

 There..... I need to go back to work now. Later :)

Sometimes the best thing you can do is nod and smile.... and if the matter doesn't require a smile. Shake your head and say "Eish". Now somebody some pray for women to have the ability to eat whatever we want (not measure portion sizes) and not get fat! Really - that is all we really want! That and for men to understand that keeping quiet about something doesn't really mean we don't know! Contrary to what many men believe - we actually do not want the drama, the yelling and so called nagging. We just wanna chill with our boo thangs and push in with life. Overlooking things doesn't make us stupid or naive and all those other things they choose to call us when we're not around. We like peace! Oh my frigging tits, that's the last time I try talking seriously relationships! That's the one thing that confuses me - and when I say it confuses me, it is NOT because I don't know what I want. I just don't know where to get it!

My love of music

some of my childhood friends often asked me why I'm always going on about music being life to me.... and me being me, I always get my words jumbled up and end up with answer that just goes like 'I don't know, I just love music a bit more than the average person. My days are just never fine unless I play I play certain tracks out loud and sing or dance along. One of my fondest childhood memories was when the whole Stimela band would come to my house for a chillas of sorts - drinking Ohlson"s Larger and chilling on the lawn going through what ever they had recorded that day - Nana Cayote, Ray Phiri, Malum' Jabu and the rest. I used to sit encansini on the grass and just listen to them _ this was still in the early 90's. Things were just so much simpler back then... I was a child and oblivious to to everything that was going on at that time politically. All I knew was that they were gon' get drunk and I will be picking up those huge ass R1 coins in the morning 'coz they alays fell out of their pockets when the were drinking while chilling on the grass, That all happened when I was still living eLekazi - a township in Nelspruit. I still replay images of my momma dancing. I have since seen Stimela perform live at least 22 times in my adult life and have loved each and every performance - eventhe ones without Nana Cayote. All of that just remind me of why I love doing events and live performance. It's like I was just born to do this - this whole event coordinating thing! Not a lot of people can genuinely say that the wake up to go to work and do what they love. I'm beyond blessed bitches!

Fastrack to 2013

This surely is my year! That's it. That's all I've got! With the amount of things that go through my mind and the bile that comes out of my mouth every other minute - that is really all I've got! I know we're 5 months into the year already to be saying that but fuck it - I cannot be charged for being delayed! Adios!

Life as it was!

2012 was a bad year - when the clock struck midnight into 2013 I was relieved. 1. I stayed the whole year without working. 2. Hooked up with a guy I wouldn't look twice at on a normal/sane day - that part actually threw me off the most! *note to self* Never have sex when bored! 3. Some dumb fuck bumped my car only a few months after I had taken it out of insurance (I was unemployed remember) and then the fucktard skipped town without giving even a penny to get that fixed. 4. Discovered that we have people in the family that actually use muthi to backtrack other family members' success (you have to be black or Indian to understand that) 5. I was broke 6. I almost became a mother - miscarriage at 3-months (let's just say God knows best) 7. I gained more weight 8. All I did was sleep - at least 60% of the year. 9. Discovered that some friends really don't give 2 fucks of what you are going through. 10. People forgot how to dial numbers and actually call. *shrugs* My ass is still alive though >>> and that is a good thing!

Quest for the truth!

Watching Generations in the last few weeks has made me wonder if searching for the truth is the way to go for me.

My father was unfortunately also killed in the 80's, 1985 to be exact. I was a year old and no one in my family has actually told me the truth of the events that led to his death. All I got was that I wouldn't understand and that it was political. I've had no interest in politics because of that statement.

In the years past, I was told of what a good man my father was, of course I would have loved to see and experience his "goodness" myself but that has and never will happen. He's a fallen hero to every one else that knew him except me and my brothers as we were somewhat "robbed" of that. My grandmother often said that I'm so much like him.

So came the thoughts of wanting to know more, where are the people that killed him! What happened to them and more than anything else why!

And with that, I have decided to ask questions that I've avoided asking in the past! So yes, yes I want to know the truth and the quest to find that truth begins now!!!

I hope my family doesn't hold anything back.

When I was a kid...

I thought I was adopted because my complection was a few tones darker than that of my siblings!

I wrote 4 suicide notes - and obviously I never got around to doing the deed!

I thought I was going to be a tv personality!

I thought I was freakishly tall and everybody else thought I was lying about my age!

I used to collect frogs and pretend to be some bio-tech genius!

I tried running away from home and the furthest I got was my neighbours house!

I was always top of my class - I wondre what happened when I got to high school 'coz that really changed!

Let's just say Thank you to growth and sanity!!!

Oh and how can I forget that at grade 9 I thought I was pregnant 'coz some guy hugged and kissed me! I blame that on poor guidance though hahaha!

Love matters

Call me vain but I think I'm quite beautiful, friendly, caring and honest! I also think that I make a good girlfriend but this is NOT what men want clearly! Oh, and speaking my mind is soooo not acceptible! Apparently it's considered to be rude, arrogant and Lord knows what else.

It's often said that good guys finish last or never get the girl and I think that the same applies for good women. Yes?

So what does one do in cases like these? Huh?

Sadly, wealthy single women also seem to have less chances of finding real love... While all is good for them in other areas of their lives, I'd have to slightly contradict myself - women with money and power are rude and think they don't need anyone. We All need someone who will hug us, listen to us, make us happy and make us feel better when everything else seems to fall apart! That doesn't mean you're weak, you're just human.

We do not have to be in control all the time and with everything.

And with that I have to leave it there for today and attend to my bbm, tweets and everything else that keeps me occupied!

So Ambitious...

So basically, I've been turning "25" for the last 3 years!My mom finally decided to ask me what the deal was and why the heck am I counting backwards...

Truth is, I had a plan for how my life should turn out by the time I turn 25 and well, let's just say there were a few glitches that set me back in a major way. At this point it's either I accept the situation as it is or keep pretending that I'm 25 till I make it work out as I had planned. The latter wins obviously!

So here's to me faking it till I make it and I want is all.


This does make sense right?